No reception, but want a cocktail Party

@Jessie bah hahahaha you do you boo!

(OP, if you didn't catch on, Jessie's comment was sarcasm)

Not a money issue @celia just wanted to not have to do the normal reception thing.

I don't want to have a party where I have to host for over 2 hours honestly. Not everyone is into planning events, and not everyone wants the big party.

I think I got the point of it having to be my expense. Since its repetitive and no one has anything else to say but that. It wasn't that I was trying to find a "loophole" just simply get an understanding of how it works. Once again I've never planned anything like this before.

I was looking forward to hearing from Actual brides that have done something along the lines of just a cocktail party after a ceremony. Or from brides that might have suggestions on where a great NY spot would be.

1. Cake and punch afterwards, cool got it. Great suggestion.

2. Try to not set it by 6pm because its dinner time, great suggestion.

If I'm only invited to the ceremony and not the reception I can guarantee I will rant about it to more than one person

@BMG-oh I'm totes serious.

All these brides who don't want to actually host their guests but want guests should just do whatever they want, they can learn to live with the consequences like big girls.

@Jessie, very well said!

Giselle, a couple of clarifications:

(1) Cake and punch receptions must be held at non-meal times, usually late mornings/early afternoons. If you have a 1 p.m. ceremony, you can have cake and punch at 2 p.m. to celebrate. Done.

(2) If you don't want to plan a party afterwards, then you and your future spouse should elope, just the two of you. A lot of couples do this because they don't want the hoopla/party. Nothing wrong with that. Go to your favorite place in the world and hire an officiant and photographer. It'll be romantic, intimate, and no drama to worry about.

(3) You can have a very small ceremony with just your parents and siblings present. Then take just your parents and siblings out to eat. This is done a lot as well. Many brides have beautiful weddings with only 10 guests. That's all they want and it's fabulous for them.

The point is, whatever you want to do, you can, for the most part. The only musts are having a dinner/meal/celebration of some sort for those who come to your ceremony. The reception is actually in their honor, not yours, so that's why it's mandatory.

@OP-the loophole is..."dun, dun, DA!": Eloping. Avoid the big party and hosting issues. Although, since you have been trying to obfuscate through this entire thread why you want to invite so many people, I'm guessing you don't want to miss out on the gifts.

@Bemtguest yes I got her ridiculous sarcasm. Thank you for stating the obvious. Glad you caught it.

Giselle, if you can have a 3pm ceremony, you can have a hosted happy hour from 4-6. Buy out a bar for 2 hours with open drinks, have some passed appetizers, and everyone goes home happy.

Well, I'm doing a cocktail style reception... not to save money, because it is more work and more money... but that's the style of parties our family and friends like, as do we.

we are having it during dinner time... but there's tons and tons of appetizers ALL night long and hearty ones... a DJ, a Bartender with open bar of course, cake and even hired a vendor for Late Night Alcoholic Popsicles.

But you can't do a cocktail party only 2 hours... the point of a cocktail party is for people to have yummy drinks, yummy apps all night, mingle, talk, dance, and Repeat! LOL

If you don't feel like hosting a reception, why are you then? just elope, spend the money on a great honeymoon!

Honestly, not wanting to host a reception but still inviting all these people to the ceremony is very gift grabby to me.

last resort... have cake and punch reception... but Please ... make sure you put that on the invitation so people know what to expect.

Hope this helps!

Who else would pay?

I'm throwing a cocktail party for my FH's 40th birthday next weekend.

It's 3 hours, passed apps and light entrees buffet style. 60 guests.

It's at a craft beer bar, so we are also having full open bar and a choice of 30 craft beers on tap. We will have music in the background but no DJ, so it will be just lots of eating, drinking and mingling.

Call bars/ restaurants in your neighborhoods or wherever you want the party to be.

@JessieJV question, do you know me? NO DIDNT think so. For me the real important part is sharing that special moment at church with my Fiancé. But maybe that's why you do things, so you can get something out of it.

I have a big family, that is why I would of had in mind of inviting so many people. I would had liked to invite them all since we are all close.

@Elizabeth thanks for your clarifications. I'm new to the whole wedding idea. I appreciate your tips. And I appreciate for not being like all the other people here who instead of giving suggestions all they did was make fun and give unnecessary sarcasm.

You definitely can have a 2 hour party if you aren't serving dinner!

Oh give it a break. You are not "super close" to 80 people. You want your cake and eat it too and until we validate your bad idea, you are going to sit here and throw a fit since apparently we are the "rude" ones.

Sorry, not a fan. Guests expect dinner and dancing.

Nancy, no, you don't need to have dancing. Or dinner, if your wedding is at an off hour.

Hey, my sarcasm isn't ridiculous. This thread is ridiculous. The 25 other threads about shitty hosting are ridiculous. My sarcasm is gold baby!

Have you thought about eloping? Maybe a tiny, tiny ceremony with just those few you wanted for an intimate dinner (Vegas, a beach, somewhere), and then coming back and having a cocktail reception? That way you're married, it's done.

But to reiterate, there is no way I'm going to get dressed up, spend time selecting and purchasing a gift, drive to a wedding ceremony, and then drive home. While the ceremony is the important part, the reception is the fun part.

Hmmm? Dinner time in NYC is 8 PM on a Saturday night. If you have a wedding and you think people will be eating before then, people will not be happy.