No registry/gifts

We too are not doing a registry of any kind. But of course you will be asked. . .how i addressed this is to say "We are not registered, but there will be a card box" That is where I leave it. . .they can choose to bring a card and "gift" in the card if they wish. I've been hearing there might be gifts brought so there will be a table just in case a wrapped gift shows up.

Typically, you don't put anything on the invite about gifts, even if it's to state you don't need any. If you want to put the message anywhere, I'd put it on a wedding website if you have one.

If you make that known (by word of mouth/wedding website), there will likely still be a few people who write you a check. Depending on your circle, it's pretty common knowledge that it's impolite to show up to a wedding with a gift (or without having sent a gift). Some may stick to this.

A registry is not required at all - no registry or a very small registry often results in monetary gifts.

We're not having a registry either. It's a 2nd marriage for us both and we have to combine our stuff from both houses after we're married. I actually don't even want to have a card box, because I don't want to seem like I was expecting monetary gifts at the wedding. I'm carrying a purse at the wedding, so I can just stick any unsolicited cards in there.

There is no polite way to say no gifts. You can choose to not register but you will end up with a plethora of gifts you don’t want and can’t return. You need to accept those graciously..


A couple weeks ago on Instagram there was a post that said “don’t think of it as a registry. Think of it as a wish list of stuff we want that we would never spend our own money on”. What do you want (that you don’t need) that you have had your eye on? Do you go camping together or a similar hobby? Entertain guests throughout the year?

Registries have not always been a thing. They are not a thing everywhere. Lots of people get married without them. You are absolutely in the clear not to have one. Will some people still give you gifts? Yes. Will some people gift you money? Yes. For anyone who directly asks where you are registered, just say, "We didn't need anything so we didn't create a registry." Those people will then likely gift you cash. Everything will be fine.

View Quoted Comment Yeah this is basically what I was planning too. 2nd marriage for me, plus being in my 30s, plus owning the house for years, makes me not really able to think of anything reasonable to put on a registry. I'll probably spread the word that we don't need or want anything, if people ask.

View Quoted Comment Yeah thats pretty much what I'm thinking of doing. I kinda felt like a note with the invites was tacky, or made it look like we were expecting cash instead, but we really don't want anything. Our guests are mostly our friends and, with one exception, they really don't make much money. We just want them to be there with us and party.

I know it’s not proper to put “no gifts” on anything, but will probably do it anyway. It’s really important to fh for it be to clear from the start we want nothing but to share the day with them, and this is how he wants to communicate that.
I’ve been working on letting go of some things that I wanted to hang on to that are traditional but that I should be lenient on.
Another is dress code - I KNOW that people should know it’s a wedding and to not show up in jeans and muddy shoes, but….there are some people who will do just that. In my case they would do it to be transgressive or make a statement about classism, so I plan to tell them to go protest class division elsewhere if they want to come. (And they will come, dressed neatly, and then bore everyone at the table with class warfare rants as they chug champagne LOL I plan to seat them wisely)

If you truly do not want any gifts or money, ask people to make a donation to the charity of your choice. “Your presence is present enough. If you would like to give us a gift, we ask that you please make a donation to ‘x’ in our name.” This way people can feel like they’re getting a gift, you don’t get “stuff” and a charity gets some extra money. We did this instead of party favors also.

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I get it, I really do. I am not a gift-focused person, so I take people at their word when I see "no gifts" on an invitation. But it's not a common thing to do, and many consider it impolite, so it probably won't have your desired effect anyway. Many people cannot go to any party, let alone a wedding, without bringing a gift; a registry or lack won't change that.

So, I would just try not to focus on it. You have good intentions but you can't control what others do. Answer honestly when anyone asks what gift you want ("just your presence, thank you"), then change the subject. Accept any gifts brought graciously then donate, regift (discreetly), or keep as you see fit.

We weren't going to, but my FMIL really thought we should (apparently that generation thinks it's rude to ask for money). Plus, if you have a bridal shower, people are going to want to bring you physical gifts. So I created my website on the knot and added stuff that we could put to use at least, but I was able to mark our Fixer Upper cash fund as our top choice (we bought our house last year and have been doing a lot of work on it). I've seen a lot of people add honeymoon funds and experiences like cooking classes or Wine of the Month clubs too.

View Quoted Comment Any suggestions on where and how to set that up on my wedding website?? Ty

This is what we posted on our website under registry as we have been living together for over 5 years and have children lol - which most of our guests are aware of.

"The bride and groom request your presence not presents. If you are thinking of giving a gift, a gift of cash towards the honeymoon, would really make their day! However, if you prefer to purchase a gift or card, feel free to surprise them in your own way"

We also are not doing favors and are asking for donations towards a charity in memory of some of our family members- we added this to our registry section of our website too so people are aware the gifts/money are really not wanted and expected

Hope this helps