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Susan
Just Said Yes May 2019

No show guests really hurt my feelings

Susan, on May 20, 2019 at 6:18 PM

Posted in Married Life 62

I just got married Saturday and I know I should let it go because I had a wonderful wedding, but I am so upset, hurt and angry about all the people that were no shows. I had a total of 90 people rsvp and starting last Thursday it felt like they just started dropping like flies. A couple texted that...
I just got married Saturday and I know I should let it go because I had a wonderful wedding, but I am so upset, hurt and angry about all the people that were no shows. I had a total of 90 people rsvp and starting last Thursday it felt like they just started dropping like flies. A couple texted that her dad had a stroke and a guy I work with called and said his uncle passed away and the funeral was Saturday. Those I understand and they were nice enough to let me know. The rest I feel like are inexcusable. Two guys I work with and their wives didn’t show or call because they voluntarily took did some weekend work even though it was not their scheduled weekend to work. Another guy didn’t show. A dear friend and her husband didn’t show. A couple who ASKED us if they could cone to the wedding didn’t show. Another couple that texted my husband that morning to ask if he was nervous and said they’d be there didn’t show. All of these people had told us the previous week they were definitely coming and not a single one bothered to text or call either before or after. I’m pretty mad that I spent $90 a person - over $1000 on people that didn’t show up! But more importantly, we could have invited other people we had to leave off the guest list that would have come.
I waited until Sunday night to see if any of them contacted me but no one did. Then I saw several of them post things on facebook from the weekend so I know there weren’t in some kind of serious accident. So, I texted them and basically said, I was very hurt they didn’t show and if they didn’t want to come they should have told me, and it cost us a lot of money for them to not let us know. I got 2 responses. One said he was in the ER but I don’t believe him because he could have texted when he posted his lunch picture on Facebook Sunday and my “dear” friend who apparently was moving Saturday said she was so sorry to miss the wedding and she had already planned to attend alone (so plenty of time to tell me her husband wasn’t coming) but the movers were late so she couldn’t go and she didn’t want to bother me on my wedding day to tell me. Ok. Why couldn’t she be bothered to tell me Sunday???
It just hurts that people were so rude, and clearly don’t care about me nearly as much as I cared about them. I feel like a total loser that out of 90 people, 12 didn’t care enough to be bothered with showing up.
How wouid you feel if that many people didn’t show for your wedding? What wouid you say or do?

62 Comments

  • nikki
    Beginner October 2018
    nikki ·
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    I Totally understand. I just got married this weekend and out of 75 guest, 16 freekin No showed that RSVP... There were soo soo many people whom wanted to come and couldn't because we were keeping the numbers low, and with enough notice we could of put people in there spot. It hurts, I am definately hurt, but I know in time I will get over it. I just keep looking at my beautiful pictures and Videos people posted on my FB Page and it helps. The people that were there said the food was yummy, the decorations were fabulous and they truly had a good time. So that helps with the sting of things.

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  • Theadra
    Devoted June 2021
    Theadra ·
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    That is very unfortunate and inconsiderate. A lot of people know weddings can be expensive and you have to pay per person. A simple text that day of would've helped but I get they didn't want to disturb your. I had two people from my office let me know the day of they couldn't make it . But those were situations out of control (delayed flight and back pain). That's goof you let ppl know how you feel. Sadly, during wedding planning you start seeing peoples true colors as far as how they act towards you and what they think is important.

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