Probably going to regret posting this, but I need to vent. That's pretty much it.
H and I have been married since May. I have never had a trust issue with him. (we've been together 3yrs)
Here recently, he started doing steroids- first of all, I told him that for one, I really don't find that body type attractive, and I was really just concerned with his physical health, but I didn't want to control him.
So right after our wedding he started doing it regularly. The first thing I noticed was a super increased sex drive. He constantly is trying to have sex, and he gets pretty upset if I don't want to one day, or if he wants it more than once. Saying stupid **** like "Do you not find me attractive anymore?"
He also has been paranoid which we have talked about, he thinks I don't want to be with him anymore, and tries to go through my phone a lot.
I put my foot down with the steroids after a few other things happened, and he says he's stopped. I don't believe him, but what can I do?
Fast forward, and he has been drinking a lot. I mean getting drunk like 3-4 times a week, especially if we are having an argument. He will just shut down and get drunk and play his video games and ignore me. During this time of drinking, he added two of his exes back on facebook. This is honestly something I wouldn't care about, it's not the exes that bother me, its because this is so inconsistent of the person I married. ALL OF IT.
So I started to over think it. I asked him the other day if he messages his ex, and he said yeah and says they were just friends before and that's what they are now. I was half way joking and half way curious and asked him if he deletes the messages to which he also said yeah, because he said he didn't want me to see the messages and take it the wrong way or something like that. He sleeps with his phone too. Like he use to keep it on the charge, but now he like holds it while hes sleeping.
I don't go through his phone, even now I won't. But I am seriously at my end with all of this. I feel like we have 0 trust now.
We have been going to therapy since right around after all of this started, but it really doesn't seem like its doing us any good.
I guess I just really needed to vent, or really need someone to call me crazy because i'd rather not divorce after like 4 months, but that is where my mind is.