No Wedding Gifts??

All of DH's family lives in GA, where I hear it is customary to get a physical gift. There are some of his family that were very generous at the shower as well and I consider that as their wedding gift too.

I'm just curious if people have had this happen to them where an overwhelming number of their guests do not give a gift at all. Was it geographical? Or maybe guys don't give gifts? (none of his GM did, they didn't pay for anything attire wise for the wedding though I appreciate them standing up with my DH.)

As I mentioned, I'm not mad or holding grudges, everyone has already received a thank you for their gift or their presence.

OMG who cares. I know you said twice you don't care etc etc but why is this even a topic of conversation? No one owes anyone a gift, no one should be tracking who didn't send them gifts and you should NEVER send someone a thank you who didn't send a gift, that's passive aggressive and redundant.

Sorry this seems harsh, I think I have a lot of pent up feelings after how many times this conversation gets posted. It's directed at the community as a whole, not you, Carlyle.

It's geographical. Where I'm from I've seen a lot of people include checks for $5 in their wedding cards.

If people have to travel for my wedding I don't expect a gift at all (well I don't EXPECT them from local guests either, but you know what I mean), but I do hope for at least a card of congratulations so I can save those for scrapbooking later.

I was told by an aunt (not exactly sure how true it is) that guests have up to a year, after the wedding, to give a gift. Maybe this is their thinking as well?

I personally would never go to a wedding without a gift HOWEVER, they aren't required either.

@Jeanne to your point on not sending a Thank You for someone that doesn't provide a gift...I feel like I've seen more discussion on here the other way advising to send one to everyone as not to exclude people because of that fact.

Also...definitely no offense taken...I see the same discussions on here too, I am mostly just curious since I've never heard of this before and the only discussions I really saw in the forums when I searched were super old.

Sounds like it is geographical since it was so many of your guests.

The reception is a thank you for attending the ceremony, anything more is unnecessary and can very often be interpreted as fishing for gifts or passive aggressive shaming for not bringing a gift. And is redundant.

I don't want you to feel like I'm attacking you personally or anything, I just couldn't tell you who didn't bring a gift to my wedding and I don't care. I think it's ridiculous people track these things.

I agree that's definitely weird. It might be the age group of your guests. We plan to have 50% college friends and a lot of guys so I can't really see them looking up a registry or spending their beer money on a wedding gift for us, which is fine. Again, just strange.

Also want to mention...because it sounds like I did more work than I actually did and to clarify the Thank You's to every guest...we had a guest total of about 40 people. Out of those 40 there were 23 OOT guests, so I did want to thank them for paying to come down to GA. With DH's family I sent cards thanking for sharing our day.

I will revise my statement before saying that everyone got one as that is not accurate, DH's GM's did not get Thank You as he said he'd just text.

Jeanne how did you send out thank you cards? Did you send a generic one that said thank you for coming? I'm just curious because I would think you would thank so and so for their gift in the process. Then in fact you would see who did and did not give a gift. I just don't know how to go about it because obviously I haven't gotten there yet. following

I personally would never attend a wedding without a gift/card. Maybe it's just that general area? I never heard of such a thing however guests are not required to give gifts. My area it's pretty custom to give a card with money or a check in it and bridal shower physical gifts. I wouldn't be upset if i didn't get gifts I'm happier to have them as guests and to share such a special moment with us... I am totally a card person though lol FH just now realizes i like cards for everythinggggg! i don't care if they are handmade on a napkin i just love cards and i save everyone of them!!

Oh yes. We got more gifts from people who weren't invited than those who were lol. It was crazy. One of my bridesmaids and best friends said "my gift is my presence". Thanks girl, love you too. But yeah, some were pretty surprising...like the best man.

In my family it depends on what the couple asks for. But it's very common to get big gifts for the shower and minimal gifts at the wedding. And I know that for some people, shelling out to attend the wedding IS their gift, as it was a financial stretch to make that outlay.

Patricia - we kept track of who gave what on a sheet of paper as we received gifts and used that to write thank you cards. It never once occurred to me to go back over that list and compare it to the whole guest list to see who didn't give gifts.

Jeez, some people are rude on here! I find it kind of odd but like you said maybe it's a geographical thing?

Ohh I gottcha. I was just wondering cause I think I would send a thank you letter to everyone for attending and then add a thank you for the gift.

I'd let it go and not worry too much about it being that it sounds like your family and friends gave and his family and friends didn't. You don't want to start your marriage off pointing that out and gifts really aren't that important if you had a great wedding.

Patricia - like I said before, thank you cards for attending are redundant but to each their own.

My mother in law, bless her heart lol but she wanted to see the gift list so she could judge who gave what/didn't give gifts from her side. It was ridiculous behavior!

But to answer, I only sent thank you cards to people who gifted us something. I agree with Jeanne, the reception was the thank you!