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Carlyle
Super February 2016

No Wedding Gifts??

Carlyle, on February 24, 2016 at 12:40 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 28

I want to preface this by saying there's no good way to really discuss this without sounding gift grabby...and I'm not mad in any way, just seeing if this has happened to other people. Just got back from our honeymoon (which was amazing and a BAM to come later) and finished sending out thank you...

I want to preface this by saying there's no good way to really discuss this without sounding gift grabby...and I'm not mad in any way, just seeing if this has happened to other people.

Just got back from our honeymoon (which was amazing and a BAM to come later) and finished sending out thank you cards for some gifts we received while we were away. Before going I wrote and sent a thank you card to each guest at our wedding, whether we received a gift or not from them. We had many OOT guests and I was very happy to just have them there with us for our special day.

Having said that, about 1/2 of our guests did not give a gift. The OOT guests were all from my side and we received a gift from all of them at the wedding, some friends that gave a lot for the shower we got a very kind congratulations card (my guests are from New England where money is the customary wedding gift). DH's local family and friends gave nothing, no cards, just nothing.

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28 Comments

  • Patricia
    VIP September 2016
    Patricia ·
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    I never really thought about the reception as a thank you. You two are correct about it. now I know.

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  • LiveLaughKraft
    Super July 2016
    LiveLaughKraft ·
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    I personally thought that whoever goes to your bridal shower that's your gift. But FH says people do cards too on wedding day. I don't care either way and I'm not banking on having a over filled gift table. So it's whatever your expecting I guess, everyone thinks differently.

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  • Z
    Master May 2012
    Zoe ·
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    I didn't compare my thank you note list to my guest list, so it's entirely possible that lots of people didn't give gifts and I didn't notice. I *did* notice that two GMs-- the BM and the guy who is the whole reason I met DH in the first place-- didn't give a card or gift. Funny fact though-- three years later, the guy who is the reason we met said, "Hey, I never gave you guys a wedding gift, did i?" and bought us something then. Have to say, it meant a lot that he remembered after all those years!

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  • NowASeptMrs
    Master September 2015
    NowASeptMrs ·
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    Gifts are not expected. We definitely did not expect them from our wedding party as they already spent so much on us but over half did anyways. We got about 10 gifts prewedding, a bulk during but we still had about 15 gifts given to us after the wedding, If you had lots of OOT guests its possible they didn't want to lug a gift a long and are sending it later. We got married 4 months ago and just got a gift a week ago. IF you didn't give a gift, perhaps the guest thought "I already spent x on a plane ticket, x on gas, and x on a hotel. That's enough"

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  • S&P
    Master January 2017
    S&P ·
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    My sister can still tell you exactly who didn't give her a gift. They got married in 2006.

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  • Uber Dami
    Master October 2015
    Uber Dami ·
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    Gifts arent expected at all. most people at my wedding brought a card...some money and a few gifts. and i wasnt upset at all about it. they showed up at the wedding, that was plenty enough.

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  • Carlyle
    Super February 2016
    Carlyle ·
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    Thank you for all of the responses. I know that gifts are not mandatory, but along with some other PP's I would never go to a wedding without something.

    I'm glad to at least know this has happened to other people and that it's also an odd occurrence.

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  • Rene
    Super January 2017
    Rene ·
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    It's rude to not bring something especially if you fed them. I always brought something even when I was poor.

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