Non-traditional Bridal Shower

You shouldn’t have any part in planning your own shower. I’d honestly think it was really weird to attend a shower and not even get to see the bride/couple open my gift.

View Quoted Comment I'm not planning it but my mother has asked what I want and I couldn't come up with any ideas. Thanks

Let someone else do the planning. But yeah, part of a shower is opening gifts.

The whole point of the shower is to open gifts. I went to a couples shower recently and it was fun. They rented out the party space at a restaurant and had a buffet of food, drinks, couple of quick games played, they opened gifts, and then cake. I don't think a DJ is necessary IMO. I wouldn't go to a shower and want to dance..I like that they are a couple of hours- mingle, eat, gifts, leave.

I attended a shower for one of my friends and it was an "upwrapped" bridal shower. The invite requested either clear wrapping, or unwrapped gifts. She went through each one without unwrapping and held them up and thanked each person (just cut out the time/trash of unwrapping paper).

I thought it was fine, a little strange, but fine. It was a shorter shower, about 2 hours, and we had a full lunch (was delicious).

Honestly, showers are at the bottom of my "things in my life I care about" list. As long as I get a thank you note and some food, then I'm fine.

Hmmm, showering the bride (or couple if it's a co-ed shower) is kind of the point if a shower...opening the gifts is kind of the main event. I don't know how I feel about not opening the gifts when your guests picked stuff out for you that they were expecting to get to see you open.

It sounds like you're planning your own shower, though, and that's not really how showers work. Showers are gift giving events thrown in the bride (or couple's) honor. It looks really bad to plan or throw your own since it says to everyone, "Hey, look at me! Honor me! Bring me gifts!"

What is supposed to happen is that someone close to you who is able and willing to throw you a shower will offer to throw one for you. They plan it and they are the hosts. Typically the only input the bride (or couple) gets is approving the date (need to make sure the guest of honor can attend) and being asked for a guest list. Sometimes, shower hosts will ask additional questions like, "do you or do you not like shower games?" or "do you like ______?" or "do you and FS want to have a couple's/co-ed shower or just a ladies shower?"

I'd suggest taking a step back and letting what happens happen.

If you can't summon up the interest or energy to open gifts, you have the option of declining a shower.

Showers are all about receiving and opening gifts. If you want a party with no gifts, tell your Mom.

I think the general idea of a shower is to shower the bride in presents, and then watch her open them. What you're describing sounds more like a party to me. Maybe if you ask her to plan it as just a party and not a shower then people won't bring presents to open and you can do party things such as games, and stuff like that. There are also bridal shower games if you want to ask her to do something like that.

Also, it does kinda sound like you're the one planning it if you found the venue and you are deciding the theme and treats and activities.

A couples shower is becoming a little more common. I would personally want to see the bride open the gifts she received. I think a dj is a little much though, but I guess that depends on your circle.

Unpopular opinion here but, I wouldn't care if you wanted to open gifts in front of everyone or not. We had a couples brunch shower for one of my friends. There was a lot of delicious food and a bloody mary bar and mimosa bar. There was also cornhole set up outside for anyone to play and a big tv with the college football game on. We were having such a good time socializing that we forgot to play the games and the bride forgot to open her gifts. The people that came were mainly our friend group with a couple of other people sprinkled in so that may have been the reason why it worked out like that.

Should I say we? (My mom and I) We found a venue. I didn't know it was a big deal to have an opinion on what you'd like to see at your "shower" or should I say "party" I'm already having a welcome party to kick off our 3 day wedding weekend so I thought something here and cocktaily would be fun

View Quoted Comment Love the idea! Thanks for sharing!

There is a new trend called "display showers"... Guests bring unwrapped gifts so everyone can see what the bride/couple receives, but the bride/couple doesn't have to be center of attention and open gifts. Honestly, I think it's boring watching someone else open a ton of gifts, and I think a lot of people feel that way; I also hate being center of attention. Displaying the gifts in the open (the guests bring the items and put a tag on the gift so the bride/couple knows who the gift is from) allows everyone to see what's there and the bride/couple can thank each person. More importantly, this allows the bride/couple more time to mingle with guests and enjoy the celebration. The host can also have a few games where guests can win prizes. This display shower concept can also be applied to baby showers too!

View Quoted Comment

I was just doing some research on this! I really like the concept! Thank you!

You should not be planning your own bridal shower.....

At a shower you'll need to open the gift, acknowledge it, and then thank the giver. It's not hard.

Was the OP edited? I thought the question related to not opening gifts?

I think a do is to much. A shower is more for gifts and time together.

I’d be a little taken aback by an event like this. I personally enjoy watching someone open gifts. A DJ seems excessive, are you looking for a dance party? Or just to play music while you
mingle since you aren’t opening gifts? I Wouldn’t bust a move during a bridal shower. I want food, to watch the bride to be open gifts and a drink or two. That’s it.

Keep in mind your host's budget as well. Hosting at an event and hiring a DJ will start to add up. As for the couples shower, we had a couples shower and it was a lot of fun.