Not an Engagement Party, but a _______ Party!

I definitely like the idea of STDs or asking bridesmaids, (and if that's done) a bridal shower to kind of start the wedding planning going again. People know you're engaged already so a wedding will be coming eventually, no need for a party IMO.

Agree with PP, have a party to celebrate generally (FH is healthy, family togetherness, etc) and just mention the wedding if asked. I like the idea of kicking of your personal wedding season by sending save the dates.

I would skip and let STDs kick things off. Folks get excited to receive their STD in the mail and go to the website for information.

@GymRat you're correct I asked 2 questions- alternate name suggestions for the party and whether or not to have it. You asked what you're missing...What you're missing is that the fact that while others seems to be able to answer those questions others just want to be extra. Has nothing to do with needing to be gentle. But to tell someone their idea is tacky... oh no wait "tacky as hell".... really? No f/u to anyone just trying to remind those of you who forget that this a place to bounce ideas off each other & get opinions. Telling someone them, their plan, ideas or whatever is tacky is not that. Now with that said no mythical beings here. I didn't know "We" meant solely my FH and I. Guess I'm missing something. Again my post mentioned everything we've- my family, fh & I have been through & how we just want to celebrate and tell our family we're moving ahead let's party! LOL smh again I didn't realize these simple questions would bother people so much. All the other comments were helpful, funny & thoughtful. But I'm sorry I can't co sign a post that was just extra for the sake of just being extra. You can dislike someone's idea or plans & express that any way you'd like. Gentle not needed. But neither is those types of comments. Again I'm so thankful for all the comments they're really helping but I'm sorry that one does not. Plenty of ppl said they don't think throwing our own party is a good idea and I still liked the comment and appreciated their input. But please know there's a difference & I don't feel like I have to explain that.

Again with this word tacky.... smh lol. It's not a party in honor of us I thought my original post made that clear we want to celebrate with other family to tell them hey it's happening lets get together and celebrate. All I said was that we didn't have an official engagement party because of the situations happening in our lives, so now we want to have a party. That's it! Geesh

I agree with pp just have everyone together for a BBQ or something. Not wedding related... it would be a good time to talk to friends and family you don't see everyday and tell them about your upcoming plans. If you call it an engagement party people will bring gifts and it will be tacky hosting your own.

Id just keep it low key! Simple and enjoyable is better

Have it during football season and call it a "Kickoff" party.

You said it's not a party in honor of us but then call it "hey it's happening let's get together and celebrate"

If you and your FH aren't the guests of honor then who is?

That's all people are saying. By making it a wedding thing, you become the guests of honor and are throwing a party for yourself, which people may bring gifts, even if that isn't your intention.

If you wanna do something, just throw a party (personally I love Fajita and Margarita parties) and in conversation you can mention the wedding date and planning has begun, etc.

Yea, you’re so not getting it.

First, f/u = follow-up, not fuck you. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way:

What YOU are missing are two things:

What the definition of honor means and, that this is also a place that people can say whatever they want as long as it isn’t against the CGs (community guidelines). When you create a discussion on this forum, or any online forum for that matter, you open yourself up to receiving all types of responses.

One more time: unless the point of this party is to celebrate the return of Bugs Bunny, what you are doing is throwing a party IN. YOUR. HONOR. You keep saying it isn’t, then you keep pointing out over and over again that it’s a party to celebrate “to tell them hey it’s happening let’s get together and celebrate.” That makes it about you/FH. Why is this so difficult for you to understand?

Oh, and outside of a birthday party, I agree with Teal.

GymRat gets it down to basics and concisely so! I'm just here to fan girl her comment.

Ditto. Ditto. Ditto.

Throwing your own engagement party is tacky as hell. Also, it's incredibly judgmental to think that just because people say that means they are virgins with daddy paying for everything. I'm a pretty "non traditional " bride and paying for my own party and I think throwing a party to celebrate yourselves is tacky as hell.

Why do people ask for advice, get good advice then come back guns blazing about said advice. You can put lipstick on a pig but it's still a pig. It doesn't matter how you reword it you are throwing yourself an engagement party. And yes that is a party in you and your FH's honor. The sole purpose of this party is to say look at us we are starting to wedding plan now. Throw a BBQ with no name and talk about your wedding all you want.

I'd say if you want to do it... go ahead. We threw our own engagement party. It was awesome! A big party too and nope people didn't bring gifts... just came for fun! So I'd say go ahead if you want to. Your families have been through quite a bit. They deserve something exciting to celebrate!

You could call it a Family Celebration or something with family in the title, maybe something like The future -insert future last name- party? Idk a little rough around the edges but you get the idea, Then announce your intentions with cake...everyone loves cake

Marlinjr.... love that idea!!! People will get the idea!!!!

Keep strong and do as you feel! Your opinion is the one that matters in all this! Best of wishes

People only started getting "extra" after about the third time explaining why throwing a party in your own honor isn't a good idea.

"FINALLY saying I Do BBQ"

Do people not throw their own birthday parties? Business launch parties? Vow renewal parties? Divorce parties? Retirement parties? House warmings? Going away parties? Book release parties? The wedding didn't happen but too late to get my money back parties?