Not an Engagement Party, but a _______ Party!

@ TACKOLOVER I totally agree LOL. But they're entitled to their options aka judgments LOL just kidding before they jump on me for saying that joke hahahaha

Oh my goodness you ladies are really getting so passionate about something that's not so serious geesh lol smh.

@Gymrat, I'll RSVP to whatever party you throw with Idris Elba on the menu, I'll even bring a gift.

@richard well there's a flag so I suppose you can use it for whatever guideline you felt I violated. Idk Wth you're even talking about in the first part of your post so... OK (in my Jay Z voice).

@sos girl huh? Like what? Lol. How'd you come to that conclusion? Lol

@GymRat am I mad? Really? Hmmm a lot of you seem way more upset than I do. LOL smh but ok. I'm not expecting gifts said that from the beginning. it's my family and they know this, so I hope that makes everyone feel better :-) I mean geesh ladies why so hostile towards this discussion? hahaha any who... Receptions (THAT YOU THROW FOR YOURSELVES, lol) are for people to celebrate you and fh. Yes they come and enjoy, and yes you plan that event for your guest to enjoy but again it's not solely for them. If you didn't have a wedding/reception and eloped they'd be fine :-) Weddings are for people to celebrate you and fh- your marriage. You could easily elope and that be that. Also just because you don't know anyone who throws their own parties ever, which seems odd, doesn't mean it doesn't happen or that it's tacky and/or classless. Love the jab by the way lol smh. And yes house warmings do still occur. And I've been to a few divorce parties as well lol. Sad situation but Extremely fun party :-) and isn't it tacky to throw shade to someone and end it with "be blessed"? Just my opinion since we're being so "gentle" with each other. All fun so please everyone stop taking this so seriously geesh.

FutureMrs.V., right?

LMAO @Amy S

I agree with @Gym and think it's tacky as fuck to plan your own gift giving party... this is an etiquette forum not a support group for rude ideas.

@Amy - I don't disagree with you. The OP can also get a bunch of people telling her it's tacky, so thank you for proving my point that she should get over it. If people don't want others to give opinions on their life, you don't post on a public forum. Why is this concept so difficult for people to understand?

@Tacko - other than the divorce party (which I'll admit I've really only heard of on a reality show or two), I didn't say I've never heard of those parties. I know a lot of people, I just don't know too many attention-seeking ones I guess? But anywho, my point was what was a gift giving affair and what wasn't, and why it may be viewed as classless. Is the app messing up your ability to understand my post? I'm so sorry. Mods - can you assist? #shoepeen

@OP - I told you that the reception is for the guests. I'm not going to rewrite what I wrote. Could you try reading it again when you aren't so heated and passionate? Pretty please? I asked nicely.

@Richard, it's okay. We know I stay fits for the gawds!

Sounds like the only person taking things personal is @Amy. You ok girl?

So sorry for your loss.

Thankful FH has recovered!

Skip the party and let your save the dates do the announcing.

Let the Adventure Begin/Continue BBQ

Send Off BBQ

I had an engagement party a year later. My mom offered to host it for us. She really wanted me to have a 2nd wedding for her family when we returned from Shanghai. My parents are divorced and only have one side there didn't sound right to me, so we compromised. We still called it an engagement party. Since most guests were family, mom spread the word around..no gifts. It was a great way to introduce DH parents to my very large family.

FutureMrs.V: You have been through so much. Do what you want and it will be the best thing ever. Best wishes

Throw your party since clearly you want to, just accept that people find it tacky to host a party for yourself. Clearly this is true since 99% of the people on here agree it is inappropriate.

Yes - this includes birthdays. Who the hell throws their own birthday party anyways??? I haven't had one since I was 10 when my mom hosted them. jfc. The people throwing their own birthday parties are tacky too.

Why can't you just call it something else? A BBQ? Simple fix.

ETA: Congratulations on your FH's health! It is great that you guys can now begin planning for your wedding, I just don't think an engagement party is necessary.

Congratulations on beginning you wedding planning and picking a date. That's great your family is excited for you both cherish that because a lot of brides and grooms don't have family support

If this is a party you are sending out invites to...just from a guest perspective I would find it weird ! However I don't think throwing a dinner party where you ask your bridal party to be your BP is weird ...a lot of people make asking those BP an event that kind of gets the ball rolling.

That and sending out your STDs gets the families and friends into wedding planning mode with you

I was engaged for 2 years and once we sent out the STDs that's what got the excitement buzzing around our wedding in our families

Good luck!

Wait, @Vicki, you got to ask it the right way like Joey from Friends!

I would keep it informal. How about a quick text or fb message that reads something like. "Life is crazy but game on. Wedding planning has started and we could use a night out with friends ( for some bar inspiration) let's meet for a drink".

@ Vicki D lol smh hard! "This is an etiquette forum" your words and yet you're calling someone's idea "tacky as f**k" again your words. Proper Etiquette in its true form. Thanks for the example LOL :-) Obviously this must be a support group for rude ideas and suggestions that's why many of you are piggy backing off of them. Cursing at someone because they don't have your opinion is rudeness in its truest form. But thanks for the comment anyway :-)

@GymRat nothing to get over lol. I'm fine really. Sorry I'm not more upset as you all keep wanting me to be. I've kept it light this entire time. maybe you should take your own wise advice and re read my previous comment where i disagreed with your point that the reception is thrown for your guest. It's not! It's thrown by YOU for YOU & FH. Guest come just to celebrate YOU aka HONOR you and the commitment you just made. If you didn't have it they wouldn't throw one for you. It's a choice just like any other party and again I love all the input just don't like the rudeness. If anyone has to be rude etc to get their point across then maybe the point isn't that valid to begin with....again it's not that serious. I replied to one persons rude comment and you seem very bothered by that yet you're telling me to get over it and accept others opinions. Guess do as you say not as you do huh?

It's okay for me to disagree with some of you ladies and vice versa. In life not everyone is gonna share your same point of views. Not bothered, heated or passionate a bit by the fact that some of you say I shouldn't have the party; more intrigued by the fact that some of you are going out your way to be rude and the opposite of helpful and justifying it. Then say I'm the one with a problem hearing others opinions. Ummm ok. Smh LOL Everyone please relax. It's not that serious at all. I just wanted alternative names or whether or not to have it. Now you're adding why you think I shouldn't have it and what you think I am IF I have the party..... are we gonna add more sub questions? LOL Really?! #Bye