Not Enough Chairs for Ceremony

Hi! It's not "wrong" to ask the other guests to stand, but it could be extremely inconvenient to some of your guests. For example, my Mother is unable to stand for more than a few minutes because of a chronic back condition and hip pain. She would probably have to return to the car, if she wasn't one to get a chair.

Not providing a chair for each person would be inconvenient to guests, especially if the ceremony is longer than 5-10 minutes. Is there another location to have the ceremony? Maybe in the hall, where there would be enough chairs permitted?

Please don't make your guest stand. The same thing happened at my cousin's wedding in September. A lot of people, including us and other family, had to stand and it was honestly annoying and uncomfortable. It was 3:00 in the afternoon and the sun was going full force (and of course most women had heels on). A lot of people stood back farther away from the ceremony just to get some shade, but then you weren't able to hear and could barley see anything. We still randomly talk about how bizzare that was. Making sure there were enough chairs for our guest at the ceremony wasn't something that even crossed our minds to ask our venue, but after her wedding, it was one of the main questions.

This is not ok at all. I'd move the ceremony indoors.


The ONLY time no chairs would be ok (and even this is questionable) is if you had a quick elopement situation with just a couple guests and you knew they were all able bodied.
You're asking almost half your guests to stand at a sizable wedding. A wedding is not a concert

Yes, it's wrong. What happens if some of those guests have medical issues that don't allow them to stand for long periods of time? Also as a short person, it would be nearly impossible for me to see the ceremony if I was standing unless I was at the front of the standing crowd which with an extra 50 people standing might be hard.

No, it is not okay. I would not be happy if I showed up and had to stand for a wedding ceremony. A large number of people will dress with the expectation of sitting for the ceremony, especially on a grass lawn, and there are many people with bad knees, bad backs, or other physical impairments that would make standing for that length of time uncomfortable. I would recommend moving the ceremony elsewhere to accommodate chairs for your entire guest list.


Food for thought, we set up chairs in rows on the dance floor for my ceremony and then had them stacked off to the side afterwards. This was easy to transition because guests were getting drinks and snacks durring the cocktail hour while the wedding party took photos. You can get creative with how you use your space, both indoors and outdoors.

You can do anything you want but people will see it as impolite and not courteous. How long is the ceremony? Add at least 30 minutes of standing time on top of that. Do people have mobility issues even if you can’t see them or are aware of them? How will you decide who is “worthy” of a chair? It’s easiest to move the ceremony to a location where everyone can be seated equally.

Every person needs a seat. Also, why is the country club limiting you to 70 outdoor chairs? I got married on a country club golf course and there wasn't any weird rule like that. It's definitely not a norm. I would talk to the venue and insist they allow enough chairs for all your guests.

Did you guys know the amount of people on the guest list before booking? I wouldn’t book something with such a small amount of chairs knowing how many people I know. Think that on top of the ceremony standing time they will have to stand from the time they arrive as guests are always ushered over a bit before the ceremony starts. I definitely wouldn’t be happy having to stand at all especially outside depending on what my shoe choice was

I agree with everyone else that it's wrong not to provide enough chairs for all guests. You literally have no way of knowing if everyone is able to/comfortable with standing for the duration (early arrival, waiting for ceremony to start, ceremony itself, recessional; it's always longer than it seems). And even if you think you know all your guests' physical abilities well, a lack of chairs still makes for an uncomfortable event for many reasons. It's hard to see the ceremony standing in a crowd, it's awkward when some get to sit and some don't, and people will chat and fidget more during the ceremony without chairs.

People will judge you, the wedding couple, and the venue for years to come. The basics of hosting is to provide a seat and food for all invited guests. This makes me wonder if your guest list expanded after venue tour, or the venue itself convinced you it is acceptable to make 50 nicely-attired guests stand on grass. It is not. Move the venue inside or offsite, if the country club cannot be accommodating.

Yes, this is wrong and every person needs a seat. I think your best bet would be to move the ceremony indoors. I'd ask your venue about the possibility of doing a room flip during cocktail hour.

I agree with Michelle that there will be a lot of judgement (and no one's going to say anything, they're just going to talk about you). I also agree with PPs about conditions that make it hard for people to stand for extended periods that aren't necessarily visible. Talk to the venue about getting a seat for every guest.

You know what I think would be very cool? If you had the guest stand around them in a semi circle, almost symbolic showing their love and support.

I personally wouldn't want to stand for a whole ceremony and would rather sit down. Would your son be open to the possibility of moving the ceremony inside or is he set on the outside?

I have been to two weddings in which this happened. The first was held at a restaurant on their outdoor terrace. There was seating for approx 20 people and about 40 people had to stand. It was a hot day and the standing spots were in the full sun. Family had to separate so that the truly needy could sit for the ceremony (elderly and infirm). It was awkward, because no one knew in advance that they shouldn't sit. So staff from the restaurant went up to people asking if each person "needed" a seat.

The second time was at our local rose garden. The seats were for family and if there were any seats left you could take them. With 5 minutes to go before the ceremony, an entire row of people who had been sitting were asked to get up for these other guests. Everyone thought they were family, so graciously moved. Turns out, it was for the wealthy boss of the groom and his family. Needless to say, those that graciously moved no longer felt gracious and it was the talk of the wedding.

I have been to a wedding were everyone stood. That one was the worst because at least for the other ones, you could lean on things in the back and even step further away because there were people sitting in front of you. Remember most people show up 1/2 hour before the wedding start time. So if the wedding runs late at all, you are talking about people standing in one place for approx an hour.

Standing still in heels is uncomfortable for some.

If I showed up to a wedding some people had seats and I didn't, I would assume I wasn't wanted there.

I think you should try to find a different arrangement to ensure every guest has a seat during the ceremony. As others have suggested, it could be really uncomfortable for people and problematic for those who aren't as able-bodied. On top of all of that, I feel like it would just be super weird and awkward for everyone involved - I'm sort of imagining a ton of chaos about where and how to stand :/

I would try to find a way to get more chairs so that you have enough for all of your guests. Some people may not be able to stand for long periods of time.