Not excited about changing my name

Don’t change your name then.

No I don't think it's a bad sign. I especially think nowadays a lot of women don't want to take their husband's last name but I don't think that means that you love him any less. If you still have the same feelings as you did before you were engaged towards your future husband then you are fine. One of my friends is on her second marriage and with her first and the second she just felt like her last name was her identity and changing to someone else's name wasn't for her. Sometimes it is a cultural thing too. As long as you know that you still love him and you still want to marry him regardless of whether or not you have his last name doesn't make a difference. But that is a conversation I would have with him to make sure that he's on board with that.

I don't think it's a bad sign or anything but you can defiantly just keep you name, a lot of people do that now or hyphenate it.

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Lol I'm not sure about the hyphen. My main concern is about when kids come along!

It's not a bad sign about the marriage, just means you need to really consider whether you want to change your name or not. Honestly, take your time with your decision, you have a few months and wedding stress can make you question things even more than usual. Weight all your options (not changing, hyphenating etc.) and discuss with your FH or other trusted friends/family.

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That's still an option. I know my FH isn't the most excited about that idea, and I know his family would throw a fit (not that I particularly care - but I do care about my FH). My main concern is what to do when kids come into the picture. I don't want my kids having a different last name from me.

You arent required to change your name and theres nothing wrong with feeling a sense od dread when such a topic is discussed. however, have you thought about hyphenating? if youre against that, theres nothing wrong with keeping your maiden name and leaving it at that. it might be wise to have a conversation with your future hubby and ask him his thoughts and opinions on it. as long as the love is still there, its worth a compromise on whichever behalf. i dont see anything wrong with how youre feeling. everyone is different!

You don't have to change your name at all.

There’s nothing to say that you can’t change your name further down the line. If you’re still not ready, you can change it before you have kids.


I’m also hesitant about changing my last name since it’s unique and I’m one of the last ones left who can have it (no males), so I’m going to keep it professionally but legally take his name.

My sister didn't change her name for 10 years I want to say....I am not sure, she ever changed but her social media has her married name (so I assumed she did, but knowing her, its a hassle she didnt bother with). People assume she changed it and she doesn't correct them.

I've done much research about this because, for personal and professional reasons, I don't want to take his last name. Legally, I can add a second last name--not hyphenate, because that's technically and legally one last name--which will allow me to use his name in instances I feel more comfortable doing so and to use only my name in other instances (i.e. publishing). If you're interested, you could look into something like that. But try not to feel guilty about a desire to maintain your identity despite being in a relationship. :-)

I don’t think so. You don’t have to change your name.

I didn't change or hyphen mine. I just didn't like he sound of it and wanted to keep my own name. Doesn't mean it is a bad reflection on you or your marriage

In many cultures, women don't change their last name. It's an outdated tradition and your attitude towards a name change has nothing to do with the health of your relationship.

There are many valid reasons not to change your name, including yours. This is very, very common in 2020 and completely up to you. It certainly has no bearing on the statue of your relationship or how successful your marriage will be. Many other countries have no traditions of women changing their name and people still have happy marriages there.

It sounds like the only concern you have about not changing it is future children. You can choose to give your children your last name. Or, I know couples who have decided (as a way to be completely fair) one sex gets husband's last name and there other sex gets wife's last name. Or flip a coin!

I know it sounds like I am joking, but seriously, I had a different last name from my mom from age 7 on, and it didn't affect anything at all. And this is waaaaaay back before this was common.

It’s not a bad sign. But you also don’t have to change your name. I had some of these same feelings. I didn’t necessarily want to have the same title as my MIL, even though her and I have a great relationship. I am also an only child and am VERY close with my family. However, it was important to my wife that I took her name. We compromised and both hyphenated.

So I would suggest either hyphenating or not changing your name at all right now if you are not 100% sold on the idea.

You don't necessary have to change ur name maybe hifing your name

I feel the same way!! I like my last name it's short and people can pronounce it. My FH is Dutch and has a very LONG Dutch name. I have seen him struggle getting his last name correctly written on anything 😂 but he really wants me to change to his. Also my mom never changed her last name and my parents have been married for 23 years. I don't think it means anything if you don't.

You aren’t wrong! I feel the same and I’ve earned my degrees with my last name so I feel like I should keep it so I decided to hyper and add his instead of dropping mine completely..... I just have no idea if this count towards the children last names too 🥴

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This was also my concern.... I changed my last name but moved my maiden name to my middle name (instead of hyphenating) and now i'm glad my husband, son and I have the same last name but I still have my old last name too!