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John Smith
Expert February 2015

Not excited about changing my name

John Smith, on January 27, 2020 at 2:13 PM

Posted in Married Life 26

I'm really not looking forward to changing my name because 1) I'm so incredibly used to mine, and Mrs. _____ just sounds like my FMIL and I really don't like it. I'm also obviously a lot more attached to my family than I am his and identify solely with my own family. 2) It's such a long and tedious...

I'm really not looking forward to changing my name because

1) I'm so incredibly used to mine, and Mrs. _____ just sounds like my FMIL and I really don't like it. I'm also obviously a lot more attached to my family than I am his and identify solely with my own family.

2) It's such a long and tedious process (I have 3 passports)


Every time anyone jokingly refers to me as Mrs. ______ it makes me cringe. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Is this a bad sign? Smiley sad

26 Comments

  • Kaitlyn
    Dedicated March 2020
    Kaitlyn ·
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    My last name is currently hyphenated - my mom didn't change her last name when my parents got married, and they chose to hyphenate us kids. So my mom is Jane Doe, my dad is John Smith, and I'm Kaitlyn Doe-Smith. That's an option for you if you choose to keep your last name.

    Also, I am 100% in the same boat as you - I cringe every time someone calls me Mrs. HisLastName

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  • Jasmin
    Dedicated July 2020
    Jasmin ·
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    I am not looking forward to it at all. I have my BS in my maiden name and my MBA will be in my maiden name. I love my FM but "Smith" is so boring and generic. I've asked about hyphening and he about lost it. Don't feel bad, we all have something we don't want to give up!

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  • Courtney
    Expert July 2020
    Courtney ·
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    I think it's something you and your husband should talk about first.. just know that if you don't change your last name , you and your husband won't have the same last name and when you have kids , there will be different last names. That's something you two should talk about.
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  • Serenity
    Dedicated June 2023
    Serenity ·
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    How you feel is how you feel! You don’t have to change it! And you always just add the name. That’s the voice I came up with and I made sure I had that talk with my FH. Did you talk to him about how you feel?
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  • Tara
    VIP November 2016
    Tara ·
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    It is absolutely ok to not change your last name! Personally I think it's all about individual preference. For me, I was never really attached to my maiden name so I was looking forward to changing it. I am close to my in-laws, probably just as close to them as I am my own family, so I like sharing their last name. I think when it comes to changing your name, it's your decision solely. Do whatever feels right to you! It's perfectly acceptable to not change it. You can still be referred to as Mrs without changing your last name. I'd say if you don't want to change it, that's absolutely ok! Plenty of people don't change their names anymore. I'm sure you'll get lots of people that refer to you as Mrs. and your future husband's last name, and I would hope you could learnt o deal with that and let it go. But as long as you and your FH don't care, keep your identity the same! Before we got married, my husband said he didn't care if I changed my name or not but he was very adamant that when we have children, they take his last name. If you are thinking about having kids, that is something you should discuss in advance. But otherwise, don't feel bad about wanting to keep things the way they are!!

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  • Molly
    VIP September 2020
    Molly ·
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    My aunt decided not to change her name, but once their kids because school age she changed her name to match theirs. Teachers would always look at her weird and she felt odd about it as well. She is very proud to have her husbands last name now. I love my FHs last name (Swanz) and am very excited about changing my last name. If you don't take his last name I would at least do the hyphen so in 8 years your future kid's teachers don't look at you sideways lol.

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