Not feeling appreciated

Three years is a really long time to hold onto all these negative feelings about one day. Since there is quite literally nothing you can do about any of this now, I would work on getting past this, for your own sake. Only you know what method of healing and growth will work for you, but I think counseling wouldn't be a bad idea at this point. Good luck!

As Maggie said, you need to come to terms with this for your own sake. Three years is a long time to hold onto all these feelings. However - to address at least some of your points

1 - only kids on the dance floor - unfortunately, that happens - especially when their are kids running around the dance floor, and it's more likely at an afternoon wedding

2 - people not talking to you - generally the bride and groom are expected to go around and talk to everyone - people know you're busy and being pulled in a dozen directions, so they wait for you to come to them instead of vice versa

3 - huge bar tab - from the numbers you gave, it seems like you likely paid for every bottle that was opened, and if you didn't account for them not opening more than one bottle of each liquor, then you may have had multiple open bottles of different items, and if they were top shelf, that adds up *fast*

4 - guests not covering their meals - that's not how gift giving works - people give what they feel they can afford

5- no one giving speeches - they aren't necessary, if you hadn't done one no one would have noticed or cared that there weren't any - but you would normally ask people (a parent, sibling, or bridal party member) to give a speech ahead of time

I’m sorry that you don’t have good memories of your day. I do agree with the previous people, it’s been three years now and there’s just nothing you can do about it, I would try to get past it. No one’s day is perfect. Mine was reduced to 17 guests because of covid and I couldn’t have my grandparents there. It sucks but dwelling on the negatives will never ever help.
I’m sure you have very beautiful memories you can focus on, and if not remember that it’s just one day. The love, support, and family you have with your partner every single day is much more important to focus on.

View Quoted Comment I agree with all of this, but to add. Day weddings have a completely different vibe than night time weddings. It isn’t as heavy drinking or a lot of dancing (in my experience) because there is still another part of the day afterwards.


Take the time to think of the good things that happened that day. Some of the items you’re focusing on, there is 0 you can do about it, because it’s in bad form to confront anyone about the areas you are remembering. It be one thing to talk to cousin Dave about acting completely inappropriate, but another to say you’re a lawyer why didn’t you give me more money as a gift. At the end of the day you married your spouse 3 years ago. If y’all are happy together, that’s what matters

Sounds like the wedding didn't live up to your expectations. You don't seem to be getting over that, so maybe adjust what your expectations were. From what I'm reading sounds like everyone ate and drank and socialized, which was the normal thing to do. Isn't it the important thing that they were there for you?

To be fair, you guys have been together for 12 years and you're seemingly established in life. I'm not sure I'd get you a physical gift either, but I would get you a card I suppose. Day weddings aren't usually dancing situations, so I do understand that. The bar bill was high but with an open shelf top bar I'm not sure what you would have expected there?

From what you're saying, I'm not sure anyone really did anything wrong. Three years seems a long time to carry resentment. Honestly if it's tripping you up that much, you might consider therapy to deal with what's happening there for you.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this