Not Invited...

My uncle and my cousin, reasons are as follows:

Uncle- was father-like to me, took my fiance to his house for intros and my uncle started bad mouthing my husbands race, stating that everyone from said race is a POS and not welcome in his house. To clarify, he was speaking to my mother (his sister) which pissed off my mom considering we plan to have kids and they'd be 1/2 that race. He was not mad or anything but was giving some type of blanket statement for the entire county where my husband is from. I politely told him not to worry we would not longer be visiting and that in my opinion there is bad and good in every race and that its so sad how people make themselves so ignorant by not opening themselves to see it.

Cousin - she is just bitter and jealous, she gave my abusive ex info about me after I broke up with him. Would try to get info from people around me to give to my ex when I blocked her. She got married a few months before me and literally begged people to pay for her wedding. She wanted my mom to cook for her 80 person wedding, my mom declined many times. The day of her wedding she told me she wished that I have a much better wedding than her because no one was willing to give her the wedding of her dreams. When she didn't get the invite she went on facebooks rants and started talking big smack about me. She was also asking my family members for my wedding info so she could crash it, I had people on lookout just incase she showed up with my ex because thats how crazy things were getting.

DO NOT invite anyone who does not deserve to be there.

My parents and grandparents are not invited because they are toxic and hostile, in general but especially toward me. They will not be meeting fiance ever for that reason. Fiance's guest list doesn't have anyone that fits that criteria. If he wants them to attend, they get an invite. If not, then no invite. We're not letting anyone else influence or pressure us to make decisions, nor is there any reason to.

View Quoted Comment Oh no, Alejandra! That is crazy!!! Good for you for standing your ground.

View Quoted Comment Hi Michelle, that's unfortunate. So glad you and your significant other were/are on the same page.

One of my brothers and his girlfriend and one of my uncles. My brother has been abusive to my stepsister and his gf said some horrible things about me so they're ousted. My uncle is a deadbeat dad and his daughters are my 2 of my favorite cousins so he won't be invited so they won't feel uncomfortable and because I don't support his behavior.

View Quoted Comment Wow that is super unfortunate! I'm excluding our siblings bc my sister is just too high maintenance and starts political fights all the time and I dislike my FH's brother, he has said some horrible (false) things about me and is a deadbeat dad as well.

Yes, I sure did. I recently uninvited a friend of over 20 years because she has been extremely

distant and not supportive of me while planning my wedding. She and I have friends for a very long time, but it seems my wedding planning has solidified just where we stand. She has managed to make everything about her or bring about some sort of drama. I need a positive team behind me.

You are doing the right thing. You don't need all of that drama on one of the happiest and most important days of your life.

View Quoted Comment Hi Felicia, that is super unfortunate. Thanks for sharing.

Ya'll..... lol I have no sadness in not inviting bigoted individuals, family or not.

Basically called out my cousin for being a major hypocrite (with screenshots) and he just ended up showing his true colors. He first attacked me on my age claiming I am too naive to understand whats actually going on in the world. His mom had to constantly defend him and tell me to "move on if I don't like their opinions." To that I responded that I have every right to voice and defend my opinions. For people that preach constitutional rights, they sure don't like when it works against them. Basically he called me a Nazi for going to college (lol, yeah I don't even know), and an idiot. Then he ended the whole statement with "My mother may be a bigger person, but I'm not. I hope whatever happens to you happens because you deserve it and deserve to be in the trash." Mind you, this guy is well into his 30s and I am just turning 24 years old. I left it at that statement because there is nothing else to be said. He showed exactly how ugly of a person he is and represented how trash ideals his family follows.... No regrets at all! Now is not the time to be complacent. People need to be held accountable. Learning has never been accomplished by people who are remain comfortable and unchallenged.

We aren’t inviting my fiancé’s mother or sister to ours. Mommy Dearest decided after us taking her out whenever she demanded to announce to my friends and my mother that I wasn’t good enough for her son and say horrible things about me behind my back. Then she and his sister decided to block him on fb after we got engaged. But they’re still able to text him when they want something, but he’s not allowed at any family gatherings...

Not the same but, we technically uninvited everyone who assumed they would be there by deciding to elope with just the two of us. This should avoid a whole lot of drama that hopefully Will be worked out by the time we have a big ceremony in 2022 a year post elopement.

We have close family friends that we absolutely love, but the husband tends to drink and get very sloppy. We are still debating inviting them to not hurt feelings. Ultimately, we don't want the rest of our guests, or ourselves, to feel uncomfortable. We think the wife will understand, but it's always weird/difficult to debate.

View Quoted Comment Oh no. That sounds toxic. Oh well, their loss.

View Quoted Comment Oh wow, that is indeed a tough one. Good luck.

View Quoted Comment Thanks so much!!

Our wedding was very small (9 years ago), and per suggestion of my mother, my sister was my only bridesmaid (Maid of honor), although I wanted my best friend to be my only bridesmaid (MOH). Anyways, later my sister sent me an email that said she can't stand anything about marriage- period, that she does not and never will support marriage (not just my marriage, any marriage). She cannot stand my husband (who has gone above and beyond to take care of our mother since our father died), and disagrees with how we raise our children (which is not any of her business)- it was terribly hurtful. So fast forward to now. We are planning our 10 year anniversary blessing and vow renewal for next year (common in our circle/ family) and she is not invited... We have began planning and will make this clear should anyone try to chime in. We only want those who actually love and support us to be there.

View Quoted Comment Good for you. Yeah your sis sounds bitter and overstepping boundaries. I don't agree with how my 9yo and 7yo nieces are being raised (watching 10+ hours of tv or tablet per day). But instead, I keep quiet and just ask their parents if I can take them hiking, to the park, etc. I view this as spreading my healthy influence over them without disrespecting their parents.

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Thanks You are such an amazing aunt! Yea, it is pretty strange. Regarding parenting, she got very personal and criticized our emphasis on moral character, like not allowing our kids being disrespectful/ "respect your elders"/ etc. Her kids are young adults now, their home had no structure from morals to cleaning, and it shows... I have always kept my opinion of their upbringing to myself because it is not my business.

I knew from the start that I would not be inviting my sister. She always finds something to attack me over, or a reason to belittle me. She has never been happy or supportive of me throughout my life. She's a manipulative user who is always the victim and likes to cause trouble for others. She can be pleasant, but will inevitably turn on you without warning.
She is 2 years older than me, and I think she is jealous. When I was first born, she thought I was cute and she protected and looked after me. But as I got older, she realised that I was getting more attention because I was the youngest. I think she has resented me most of her life.

The sad fact is that I would like to have a relationship with her, but I simply don't trust her not to hurt me again. As an aside, my FH is incredibly valuable to me and I would never put him in a position to be abused by her. If she ever treated him like that, I would absolutely lose it and I don't want to become that person. It would not end well for anybody.

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I completely relate to everything you wrote. You do not need her negative energy at your wedding.