Not inviting a close friend who lives across the country?

I think you should invite her. I know how it is to have dear friends that you can't see often, and it doesn't mean they're any less important. Can you cut someone who is less important than her? Remove some "courtesy invites" or people you're not close to anymore?

But you still talked to her 2 to 3 times a year and are inviting 185 plus. I understand if you had a smaller guest list but even after ten years of being separated/haven’t seen. Still are making an effort each year to at least text and communicate with. I personally would say to invite her, just to show you still care about the relationship. Let her decide if she would want to come or decline. 😊

I don’t think it’s right that you’re excluding her

View Quoted Comment I completely agree. If you were having a very small, intimate wedding that would be one thing- but you are inviting 185. I think your friend would feel hurt to be left out of a guest list that small. I wouldn’t worry about her getting “lost in the shuttle”- guests do not expect the bride and groom to spend a lot of one-on-one time with them. I would definitely invite her and let her make the decision whether she attends. If you want, you could reach out to her after she receives the invitation just to let her know that you would love to have her there on your special day, but you also understand if she isn’t able to make the long trip.

Thank you, all. That was my gut - at a guest list that large, 2 more people really isn't an issue.

I say invite her, my fh best friend is a groomsman and they don’t see eachother very much due to life he lives about 25 minutes away, but when they do get together it’s like they picked up right where they left off

Of she is your closest friends I think that you still invite her and let her say yes or no. And it shouldn't matter where the person lives unless you dont have think of her as your bestfriend anymore. You can always go to lunch or have brunch day. But you don't want her to fill unwanted or she may feel that you dont her to come and share in your celebration of your wedding day. And your guest list may shrink so she still be able to come

Wow that’s a lot of people! To help me cut down on so many people I asked myself, “if this person didn’t invite me to their wedding, how would I feel?” And my list went all the way down to 15 people😂so ask yourself that question for her, and go from there. Good luck 👍🏾

I’m confused by the logic here. If she is that close of a friend, why would you not invite her? Covid over the last 2 years has prevented people from seeing each other as often as they would like but those friendships aren’t null and void as a result. How would she get lost in a group of 185? If it was a guest count of 18 that would be different. How many of those 185 are closer to you than she is and how many are obligatory invitations to please parents or someone else who isn’t you or fiancé? If she is one of your closest friends, regardless of location, I would have her at the top of the list and many of the rest are optional.


We’ve got close friends who are scattered all over the country and we don’t see them in person due to Covid but we make every attempt to chat online or text at least once a week or every other week. They are closer to us than many people we see every day.

Thanks for your input, everyone. We do have a very large guest list - way larger than I'd imagined since both of us have large families and large friend groups. I've decided to invite my friend and, as someone pointed out, let her decide whether she'd like to come.

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I think this is the perfect move!