Not inviting a plus one

They’re a couple. The entire couple should be invited or none of it. You’re getting married, you should probably be over your precious breakups by now.

You don’t know the whole story. It wasn’t a good situation.

I think these are the types of decisions you have to make for yourself since strangers on the internet don’t know the whole situation you might get some hurtful feedback. If I were you I’d talk to the cousin. If it’s really that bad of a situation she should understand or maybe you wouldn’t want her there either if she doesn’t understand

View Quoted Comment You’re right, we only know the information you provided.

View Quoted Comment Agreed.. You know the situation better than anyone. There are some times when "etiquette" is put aside

I would talk to your cousin and let her know how you feel about him coming. That is super awkward to have an ex at your wedding if you weren't on good terms. You shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable on your day.

It's not etiquete but I sure wouldn't! It was nasty and it's your wedding/day. Who would want to see a nasty ex all day at their wedding AND with another girl? Just weird.

If it was a nasty breakup, I'm sure he won't want to see you on your wedding day either.
Dont invite the cousin, or invite then both and hope he doesnt show.

I've had terrible breakups, but if your cousin knew the story and was close with you she wouldn't bring him. (Honestly, I'm guessing if she knew the story she wouldn't be dating him in the first place? But who am I to judge...)

I'd tell her you aren't comfortable inviting him and hope she understands. However, if they are serious, it might hurt her feelings. It might be an all or nothing situation. Prepare for the cousin to not want to come, worst case scenario.

Not sure if I did the right thing. But I texted him I didn’t want him to come.

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No way this was the right thing to do. Seems like a knee jerk reaction. Especially with your wedding being over a year away.

I would reach out to your cousin ASAP to let her know how you feel and how you mistakenly reached out to her bf but should have reached out to her first and you're sorry. I would imagine she's be pretty pissed with how you're handling this, so be as kind as possible and understand that she might (probably) won't attend.

View Quoted Comment His responses are very upsetting.

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Can you blame him? Regardless of the history, texting someone to tell them you don't want them at your wedding is just rude.

It may have been rude. But what’s he’s saying is just wrong.

I don’t want to post his responses because they’re not g rated. But if you want to know send me a private message.

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Put down the phone. Stop engaging.

Later, once you've calmed down and more rational heads prevail reach out to your cousin and try to repair things. I can imagine she won't be too happy about this exchange either.

I can’t let this go. He can’t talk to me like this. I have to fight back.

Your wedding is really far out for you to already be telling people they aren't invited. The cousin may not even be dating your ex by that time. I would have waited #1 then reached out to the cousin when invites go out. Now all you can do is contact the cousin and let her know what went down.

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Think about the reason he is talking to you in the first place. You reached out to him. My FH would be pissed at me if I was still hung up on my ex and texting him about our wedding.

I’m too impulsive of a person. But you’re right, I should have waited. What’s done is done. I’m begging him not to tell anyone we’re texting about this.