Not inviting a plus one

Oh man... I'm so glad I came back to this post. I knew it would be messy but not this bad! Sorry... Jill - in other posts you mention you are getting married in ITALY. There is a slim to none chance that your loser ex-bf would make that kind of trek to come see you get married. If he is as bad as you make him seem to be, hopefully he won't be dating your FH's cousin much longer. This wedding you haven't even started planning is over a year away. I think you need to fess up to all about today's drama and then end it. You are future-tripping.

This seems almost as fake as the PP who cheated on her fiancé with her coworker.

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Caytlyn, she's right above accusing OP of being a gold digging cheater!

View Quoted Comment What a wild ride this has become 😅

“I didn’t plan anything beforehand.” So what? Cheating is cheating. You posted about how to keep the fact that you cheated from your FH and now you’re criticizing OP and making wild accusations about the type of person she is. Self-reflection is important.

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I feel the same way reading it! This post is ridiculous, but kind of glad I clicked on it!

While I am not going to accuse you of anything, this situation does seem to be a little odd. I weirdly agree with Amy that you might be in denial and it seems like you have feelings for your ex-boyfriend. I have been in your shoes (not fully exactly though) with blocking an old flame. He was not toxic, but I would go back and forth blocking and unblocking him. Definitely not healthy, but I was young and wanted the chase. There is definitely something more to this story and while we do not need details, you need to understand that you can not come on here and ask a question and then not be prepared for the backlash with the responses you are giving. People should not be rude and mean, but you also are feeding into it by your replies. You texting him when he is not technically invited and would be a guest of a guest is wrong. Who is to say that she would definitely have brought him knowing the situation. I think that the fact she is dating him is super weird if she knows that he is not a good person so that is why everyone is saying something is up as well and it is making you look bad.

To tell him not to tell anyone, you are giving him the upper hand in this. Now he has something on you that can ruin your whole relationship - especially since it is on your fiance's side and not yours to where maybe you can keep it hush hush. For you to say you asked him not to talk about it and needing to work on making sure it does not get out makes it seem like you said some stuff that can damage your relationship because if it really was innocent and he did you wrong, then you should not be afraid of it coming out and defending yourself. Then to add that your fiance does not know you have contact with him means that something could have happened in the past and there is a major trust issue.

I am not trying to come down on you, but I am trying to show you how it seems to us and why everyone is attacking you. You really should think about if you want to get married or what is going on. Did you start dating your fiance before your ex-boyfriend and his cousin started dating? What about getting engaged before? It does sound to me like you are not ready to get married though.

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I wish I could "like" posts on WW...this would definitely get a thumbs up from me.

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Thank you! I know my post was super long so I feel honored someone even read it!!

I just feel like no matter how personal a question might be, if you have nothing to hide, then you would answer it. Even if she did hook up with him, she could have lied to us and responded with a no, but saying it is rude and acting weird about it is suspicious. I am not sure that she sees why everyone is attacking her so I am trying to help point it out to her.

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I don't disagree with you, and as you said the details are really none of our business anyway. So I can see why she would respond that it's rude (cuz it kinda is) but at the same time not answering does seem suspicious.

This is a rough situation, and as scary as it is honesty is almost always the answer.

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Definitely! Her best bet at this point is to be honest to her fiance about everything (even if it literally is only that she texted him) and hope to salvage the trust and be a united front. She needs to beat her ex-boyfriend to the punch because when - not if - the whole thing blows up, it will not be pretty.