Not inviting family

Be honest with them. “Your behavior recently has led me to the decision not to invite you to the wedding.” Period. But understand those are relationship ending words for many people. Be honest but be prepared for the consequences.

You can simply say that you guys decided you wanted to make it intimate, just the two of you.

View Quoted Comment I tried that and our parents weren’t happy. I feel like I’m in the people pleasing business now

Elope, tell them about it later when you're ready! My SIL is getting married in a few weeks and she basically said, "I'm doing a civil ceremony, only five people and the photographer can be there, and we'd love you to be a part of our larger celebration (later that day and the following day)." My husband was a little disappointed of course, but it's their wedding.

View Quoted Comment I never thought of that! Like just us in the church and big party later. Or elope and say “oh yeah it already happened”. I like that, maybe I’ll just not talk about it anymore and and hope they forget

View Quoted Comment You’re not in that business though.
The parents won’t be happy... but that’s not your problem... if they were acting better then this wouldn’t be an issue and you wouldn’t be telling them they can’t go. So they will get over it and maybe learn to act better and that actions have consequences.

Its you guys day... only y’alls day... and if y’all don’t want anyone else. Don’t have them. Only have people that make you happy, at ease (NO STRESS) and that love you guys!!
Just tell them “I understand you are upset, we want this to only be with us in a no stress& no drama environment. So it will just be just us at the wedding. We will see y’all ___ (after the wedding or the honeymoon and celebrate) love you. Hope you understand”

I have learned DO NOT feel bullied by anyone. You are not there to make them happy. They have had their day this is yours. Do what you want.
Good luck😊

If you’re going to elope, you’re going to upset people no matter what lol. I think it’s basically impossible to elope AND people please. The two don’t really go hand in hand. That being said, if you truly want to elope, I think you should do it. BUT you have to be ok with the fact that you’re going to upset people. That just comes with the package if you’re eloping!

View Quoted Comment Thank you. I think I needed someone to tell me what I am feeling is valid. Because this isn’t the first post I made about my family. This has been stressing me out and I’ve been getting daily migraines. Them not listening doesn’t help. It feels like they are using this more so to see each other and not specifically for me. I’ve never in my life been in the people pleasing business so I don’t know why I’m starting now. I just want to be happy and the thought of them or anybody else being there just makes me sad. F it. It’ll just be us, the priest , God and the apostles if they wanna come. I’m stressing for no reason and it’s ridiculous. If I change my mind then it’ll be on my terms. Ugh these people

View Quoted Comment Oh I’m ok with it, I just don’t want to hear about it every time I get a phone call. “Why wasn’t I there? Who was there? Just you 2 but why? You’re supposed to have family!” Blah blah blah! God I can just hear it now

View Quoted Comment I so understand!! I’ve always been a people pleaser and wedding planning made me turn and really only care about My fiancés and my wants.

it’s not stressing for nothing. Family will drive you crazy. I’m so happy you’re gonna do what makes you happy!! It shows how strong of a person you are!! I’m so happy for you!! 😊

View Quoted Comment Expect that. Family will usually find something to get frustrated with about a wedding- especially if they're acting like this already. You can either have them angry at one thing or about 500 little things.

Still, they have no real say. You'll need to stop trying to mediate a losing battle and do what you want instead.

If you and FH want this, elope! You can always have a vow renewal on your original date

You have an entire year before your wedding. Think about canceling and eloping! Just make sure your fiancé is on board.

Make the decision and stick to it. You , hubby and witness get married at the church and have a big reception/party after. just don't discuss it with anyone. plan the event and send out invites 30 days prior who makes it makes it who doesn't oh well. You should not be stressed out by your family. This is a new beginning for you and your FH make the best out of it!