Not inviting Future Mother-in-law

Sorry you're going through this (and apparently have some pretty ignorant people in your life to tell you that you're in the wrong). Boundaries are incredibly important in any relationship, especially with in-laws, but this sounds downright toxic going forward.

For this specifically, I'd definitely suggest Googling "DWIL Nation," it's a discussion board like this one dedicated to dealing with in-laws. There's great (and sometimes, helpfully harsh) advice on there from people that have been through this and worse with their own parents or in-laws.

You made the right decision not to invite her. I wish you and your fiancé luck and happiness!

Honestly i agree with you just because she went through the labor doesn't mean she's a great mother. If you both feel you don't want her there then you shouldn't have her there.

Toxic people have no place in our lives. It makes me crazy when someone tries to tell others "well she's still your mom, he's still your brother" etc. SO WHAT? if they are not good for us it doesn't matter. Trust me you're doing the right thing. With my first marriage my former MIL was a toxic and horrible person who did all she could to break us up and mess up our lives. We may have had a chance if not for her. You two need to do what's right for you, your big day, and your lives.

Toxic is toxic, family included. Honestly, my mother isn't invited to my wedding. I have gotten the same kind of back lash you guys have, but guess what? NO ONE knows what she has put me through. They only see the character she pretends to be. Unfortunately, most people aren't open minded when it comes to things like these. My wedding coordinator told me that your guest list should be composed of people you want to party with and make you feel good. The people you text message regularly not our Facebook friends or long lost neighbor.

I am so very sorry for what you are going through I definitely feel your pain and I wouldn't want her at my wedding either. My Mother In Law is definitely showing some Narcissistic tendencies. She had a surgery on her leg right before Christmas even though the doctor told her it could have waited until after the holidays. She didn't tell my husband about it until 2 days before and has been causing lots of drama. The Doctor told her to do in patient care for a quick recovery and she declined. My husband and to leave work early multiply times because she said she couldn't be alone. Christmas Eve she was very rude to all of us especially towards me. I opened my first gift from her and the top is too small, My husband said I told you not to order that size and she says well I had already clicked purchased oooops, Than the second gift I open from her it's another top that is too big and she proceeds to say that it was free because she won it at a raffle. ( Not sure why she felt the need to tell me that) The icing on the cake was when she kept insisting I open a mutual gift that she got for my husband and I and when I open it I see a glass bottle that lights up with our wedding picture on it but the real kicker was that she picked a picture with my eyes completely closed. My bother in law said mom really? why would you do that? And she just smirked. I was so hurt and I think she got joy out of hurting me which is disgusting! My mother in law made everything all about herself and could of cared less about us.