Not inviting older sisters to bachelorette

I personally would have invited them. I just thought all your bridesmaids attend the bachelorette party? It seems a little rude to not include them, did they tell you that they weren’t interested?

Ouch. You should have invited them and let them make the choice if they would go or not. Sadly, you have created a situation that is very hurtful.

I would feel guilty as well if I a.) planned my own bachelorette party and b.) not only excluded my bridesmaids/sisters, but also hid it from them.
It should have been up to them whether or not it was “their scene” or if they wanted to “go on a trip with a bunch of 20-somethings.” They likely would have turned down your offer, but at least you wouldn’t look bad.
It’s time to be up front and honest with them.

Honestly, I would invite them and simply tell them not to feel obligated if it wasn’t their scene. I do think it’s extremely rude to exclude a bridal party member from even an invitation to the event, even if you both know they would decline.

true story: a bridesmaid was on here recently posting about being extremely hurt and not knowing how to proceed after hearing from their mom that her sister was not planning on inviting her on her bachelorette trip— a trip that had been openly talked about and that the bridesmaid was looking forward to as a mini vacation from her hectic married&‘motherhood filled life.

View Quoted Comment And why can I not plan my own bachelorette? Lol It worked out better that way and my bridal party loves the idea. Plus some of my girls did help pick out he destination and Airbnb. But since I’m footing most the bill I like to know what I’m paying for. I don’t care about looking bad I just want to know if anyone else has siblings way older than them and how they handled similar situations. I’m going to tell them just don’t know how to bring it up.

I would invite them and tell them they don’t have to no hard feelings just so they know they’re welcome but not obligated to tag along on a night they won’t have fun at. It’s always best to invite people even if they might not go because it’s their decision and they’re part of the group too ❤️ I’d feel sad if my sister didn’t let me know .
who knows they might end up going and having fun 😇😇

View Quoted Comment Yeah I know I have to tell them, but my mom kept saying “why? They don’t care.” But I care lol

View Quoted Comment Yeah I read that one! I just didn’t know if the situation was the same since there’s like a 20 year age gap between my sisters and me. I think I’ll let them know that this is what we’ve planned but that we’ll also be doing a dinner the night before we leave so they can feel included if they do decide it’s not their scene.... still worried about their reaction tho😣

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Well my one sister (actually sister in law) hates going out by any means. She loves to be at home when shes not working. she also hates to leave her kids, so I know she will definitely not want to go. She didn't even want to come to my dress shopping appointment 2 hrs away, which was fine I know she hates shopping. My other sister tho is a little more outgoing and spunky, but I still cant see her at the club lol. I will invite them, just got figure out how to bring it up.

I think you should just invite them anyway and just let them know that it's not mandatory that they go...

Yeah you def should have told them, it's not your place to decide whether or not its their scene. For your wedding they may have been excited to do this with you, My bach party was an amazing weekend in Vegas with sister and my 4 cousins (ages 40-50), I am 30, we had the most amazing time ever. It was a time for them to relax without their kids and enjoy themselves.

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Because these are parties thrown for you, not by you. It's not proper etiquette to host your own parties.

View Quoted Comment Not really a strict follower of etiquette. And I don’t feel guilty about it so it must be ok. I’m just glad everyone is excited. It’s more of a party for them than it is for me. Will also be celebrating my MOHs bday while there.

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....that's not how that works.

View Quoted Comment Well that’s how this one is going to work.

I’d be upset if you didn’t at least ask. That seems unfair even if they are older

If they won't come, like you've said a bunch, than why not invite them?

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Not feeling guilt over something does not mean it's okay. Like, I can't even fathom how you think that is an appropriate mentally.

You could still invite them. Let it be their choice to be around a bunch of 20-somethings. I would be pretty upset if my sister didn't invite me over an assumption.

My sister is 9 years older and I was her MOH back when I was 15. I was never invited to any bachelorette party or girl's spa day obviously because of my age and I wasn't offended. She is one of my bridesmaids but I was not planning on inviting her to my bachelorette party either. She is nearly 35 with 2 kids and would not be into spending a weekend with all of my friends and I...especially if her husband and kids can't come. She would probably laugh if I invited her.

I might try to plan a more family friendly girl's day with her and the junior bridesmaids and flower girls (her daughters and other nieces). I think doing something similar would be a good way to have some pre-wedding girl time with your sisters...either just a Sister Saturday or all the bridesmaids going somewhere like a nail salon and fancy brunch place. Explain that your bachelorette party is going to be your main co-ed friend group that hangs out all the time but you would love to let loose with just your sisters locally since they have more responsibilities like husbands and kids!

If they have been talking about wanting to come...then you should probably consider including them.