Not looking forward to getting my wedding pictures back now

Sounds like my MOH lol. how many of the wedding pictures is she in??? hopefully they are mostly you and DH

Sorry to hear that Cydney. Let the photos be a memory of what you and your husband created/creating. Find some peace in it knowing that you've done what you can to be a friend to her and you can't continue to let it effect you, especially going into a new marriage. Hopefully it all works out for you!

Sorry to hear. Hopefully one day she grows up and realizes how immature she was.

That really sucks, Cydney. Vent away.

Also photoshop?

Exactly like me and my best friend of 24 yrs.. Luckily I found out now 8 months before the wedding. I love her always will be she is stuck in her alcoholic lifestyle and doesn't want to better herself.. iT'S sad to see someone you've known most of your life and think of as a sister like that.

Yikes. I'm sorry to hear that, it's so hard when you have a friend you've tried to help out and they just take you for granted or worse they don't even care. I hope things work out somehow for you.

EEek! That's awful and I'm sorry that you have to deal with that...I don't want to jump to conclusions, but she seems a bit unstable, no?! Any chance she was just having a moment, she apologizes and you two move on?!

That stinks, I am sorry to hear that. Sometimes you do have to let people go, you can only try so much.

Thanks ladies...I needed some words of encouragement. I was really hurt and upset. I've been crying ever since I left work after I got her email.

I even read it to one of my friends to make sure I didn't come off wrong and say something I shouldn't have...she's aware that the MOH is 'sick' aka bi-polar so she helps me see things at a different angle. She's going to even help me draft another email back (since that's the only way MOH will communicate for some reason right now).

@FutureMrsOhler ... LOL ... good point, I hadn't thought of Photoshop.

@Jessica H. ... she's always having a moment. Nothing is ever 'stable' with her...and according to her email she can't have 'negativity in her life' as she likes to keep things simple. Apparently me calling her during the wedding planning process to get help regarding MIL (as some of you know she basically turned from liking me to hating me and even yelled at my mom on our wedding day) b/c I couldn't talk to DH about it as it would (cont)

I couldn't talk to my mom about it b/c it would upset her and only add to the 'black cloud' as she called it...so naturally I turned to my MOH who I also thought was my BFF.

The email was incredibly hurtful and mean...even my friend whom I read it to was astonished at how angry and defensive it was.

I'm not sure if I should attempt to draft up another email and have my friend help me with it before I send it...or just drop it and cut her out of my life completely.

My mom thinks that I shouldn't cut her out...that I too easily cut people out of my life...and my DH says that there is always something negative going on in my world...and partly, it's b/c he hears about it more b/c I no longer talk to my friend. Does anyone ever have a 100% positive day where everything in the day going perfectly fine? I've never experienced that...and I can't help but want to release the upset instead of keeping it in and having it build into something

Cydney, I am so sorry you're having to deal with her! That truly does stink! I am so fortunate that the 3 girls that will be standing up with me are girls I would never have to worry about having a falling out with. One is my big sister and while we fight, duh we're sisters, so we'll do that and get over it. The other 2 girls are my best friends, one since high school and one more recently over just about a year. It was amazing how fast she and I connected! I really hope you can resolve the issue. If not, know that you are better off without her friendship if all she has are excuses.

Mandee...I thought the same thing about all 3 of my girls. Apparently I was wrong.

I've known my MOH for 10 years now and rekindled our friendship about a year ago...I quickly picked back up from where we left it off and we were connected at the hip.

So I'm not sure how to handle all of this.

If you are truly ready to walk away from this person, then do it. I don't mean you have to say forever and never again, but...remember that many mentally ill people (incl. bipolar, if I remember correctly) thrive on drama. They reach a peak, explode, and then crash. You can't control it and you can't stop it, but you can choose not to feed into it. Let it cool off, and then see if anything changes.

I am sorry you're hurt. Step out of the relationship for a while and see what happens.

Sometimes it is better to let go of the ones that create drama and wreak havoc. I had to learn the hard way with a few of my "best friends" from my past. Needless to say, the ties have been severed in those relationships. As I tell my students, "save the drama for your momma!!"

J&R ... the funny thing here is that she's telling me I'm always negative and that she needed to remove that from her life and do what's best for her.

The problem here would be that when all the stuff during the wedding planning process with my MIL was going on I had only her to turn to...to confide in. And it sounds like she doesn't care that since DH and I have cut ties with my MIL, there has been nothing negative to talk about.

I can't tell you how many times I dropped everything to go be with her when she'd have panic attacks thinking her husband was cheating on her or stuff wasn't going right in her life. When she complained about how much she hated her job...I convinced my mom to hire her on...and up until today, my mom had ever intention to hire her on. I've done nothing but try and be there for her...as I'd hoped she'd be there for me...pretty sure I thought that's what BFFs were supposed to do.

Cydney- Im the same way as you. I am quickly to cut people out of my life too. I wish i wasent like this but hey if you are a negetive person than i dont need you in my life!

I'm sorry this is happening! I would take some time off from her and I probably wouldn't respond to her email right away. I know it's hard to read the accusations that somehow you're negative, but I think it's more of a reflection on her illness than on your personality, so while you may mourn the friendship, don't take her words to heart!!

I'm sorry this has happened and is going to put a shadow on some of your wedding pictures... but also be thankful that at least you know now instead of after more and more significant events! I hope that she turns around for her own sake, and am glad you know when done is done. I agree with J & R S that people thrive on the drama and not letting them have the chance to do that to you is best. My childhood best friend is similarly always having a "moment." I felt bad doing it at first, but I started acting disinterested if I knew her latest event was crap. If it's sincere, you have my ear... but apathy is my answer to most of the attention seeking she does. She's been staying away with her stories when she thinks that I "won't be interested." Anyway - it seems we all know someone. Good luck to you

Firstly, it's really unfortunate that this happened... Secondly, ask yourself how much you value the relationship... not just right now, but in general, over the past 10+ years... How much does this person mean to you, and prior to this falling over, how much did you value the relationship? My guess would be a lot seeing as you did choose to have her as your MOH... So, before doing anything, I would think about why you chose to have her, and what she meant to you. I understand that friendships are a two way street and imo, in order for a relationship to be successful, thoughts and feelings need to be reciprocated by both individuals, however, should you decide that this person isn't who you thought she was, I would recommend, a mature conversation (as mature as it can be) that is thought out and will either attempt to mend, or bring closure to the situation. I don't recommend involving a lot of outside people... from experience, that makes the issue bigger than it actually is...cont'd

Give yourself some time to think over how you feel and why you feel that way. Then at the appropriate time, let your friend know what happened that made your decided to do whatever it is you decide... it's only fair. Keep your chin up! This too will pass...