Not losing weight before the wedding...

I didn't plan to at all. I'm a fat girl and I'm going to stay a fat girl. My DH loves me just he way I am. I think I looked great on my wedding day. I think we all put ourselves under such pressure as it is, why add something as stress inducing as weight loss to it?

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That's what I'm sayin! Wedding planning is already stressful enough and now we're adding the pressure of like....a new years resolution? haha

I lost 5 lbs from stress the week of my wedding anyway.

In total I lost over 20 lbs. It is a different stress when none of your work clothes fit and you can't afford new ones because you are also paying for a wedding.

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I didn't even think about that!

I'm not the skinniest person ever and I definitely have some curves, but I'm comfortable in my own skin. I think that it's alright for anyone to want to lose weight for their wedding and maybe it's what gets them into a healthier mindset. However, I didn't want to be someone I wasn't -- not even for a dress (not that I'm saying people who lose weight for this aren't themselves, it's just how I'd feel).

I actually had to buy my dress 4 sizes larger and get it sized down to me because that's all they had left. So, I guess it worked out for my mindset of 'I don't care -- if I end up losing, cool' -- attitude. However, diets don't work... only lifestyle changes do. So, unless I was willing to do an entire lifestyle change -- I wasn't going to put myself through more stress to stare at a scale and worry.

I only tried to gain a little weight for my wedding because my sternum looked bony in my v-neck dress.

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Definitely my same point of view!

I’m not purposely trying to lose weight for our wedding, but I’ve definitely lost a few pounds just from stressing so much over the details of our day :/ I’m only slightly annoyed about losing the weight because when I bought my dress (off the rack) it fit me perfectly and I didn’t need to have any alterations except hemming and a modesty piece. But now I have to have it taken in a little bit so it doesn’t fall down (it’s strapless). And my mom has definitely asked me if I plan on losing weight for the big day, like it’s expected. So yeah, I relate with part of your experience. I have no problems with people who want to lose weight for their big day. I mean, a big reason we buy regal, exquisite, beautiful dresses for this day is so that we feel as beautiful as our future husbands see us already.

I think this is a great post. I always see the ones saying "losing weight for the wedding", etc... and it just makes me sad. Your FS proposed to you and loves you for who you are, not some ideal weight you think you should be. I am all about being healthy and if people want to use their engagement as a jump start for living a healthier lifestyle, I think that is great! But starving yourself and buying a dress too small to try and fit into the stereotypical "perfect body weight" is so sad to me.

I was already losing weight when I got engaged so I’ve continued. For me it’s not looks, but blood pressure problems.

I agree about buying a smaller dress and trying to lose to fit it. Seems like a recipe for disaster to me.

Thank you!!!! I hate diet culture. You don’t hear about men feeling pressure to “look their best” (*eyeroll*) on their wedding day so we do we as women have to face that?! I see so many women on this forum that are quick to recommend weight loss programs for brides that aren’t feeling confident when we should be encouraging them to find the confidence at their current shape/size!!!

I tried to lose weight more for health reasons (I'm 20 pounds over my ideal healthy weight), but I made sure my dress was my average size. It's too stressful to purposefully make a dress size a goal lol

You are being very sensible. People who know and love you aren't going to suddenly stop when they see you are the same size you've been all along. From a health perspective, dieting for just one day is a bad idea. And buying a dress several sizes too small sets you up for misery shortly before your wedding if you don't lose the weight (which most women don't).

I'm choosing to lose weight for health reasons. I'm not fat, but I'm not in shape either. I want to be the best me I can be when I start my marriage. Yes, FH loves me just the way I am. But if you can't go up a flight of stairs without being out of breath, you should make lifestyle changes, which is why I'm doing it. We live in a society where we say everyone is beautiful the way they are (which I do agree with), but that doesn't mean everyone is healthy the way they are. I'm just tired of living in denial and making excuses about not exercising regularly and getting in shape, so the wedding is motivating me to do that.

Good for you! Your FH loves you for you. But the correct size and be who you are. Love this attitude!!

It’s just dumb diet culture. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to add more fruits and vegetables to your diet or drink more water or get more sleep so you feel your best. But I need to lose x number of pounds to be at x weight is silly. People get way too focused on an arbitrary number. Good for you for not giving into that!

I had wanted to but then decided it was more stressful and would upset me more if tried and failed. After all, Hubby loves me regardless of what the scale says.

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Yessss I totally agree!

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It's just so weird to me that people would ask "are you losing weight for the wedding?" in the same tone they're asking what shoes I'm wearing hahaha

My husband lost weight “for the wedding” since he was an unhealthy weight to begin with but he was struggling to motivate himself to lose it. When he realized how unhappy he was with how he looked in our engagement photos, it was an epiphany for him that he didn’t want to look like that in our wedding photos (and just in general). So I wouldn’t say he really lost weight “for the wedding” because he needed to lose weight anyway for health reasons... but the wedding was just a really good motivator and a good deadline to hold himself to 🤷🏻‍♀️

But I agree if it’s just about appearances for the one day, I think THATS a tad silly, and you’re great to be happy with how you look!