So I feel like this is a safe space and I just need to vent.
My wedding was a month ago and unfortunately It was not my dream wedding. I got to marry the man of my dreams, but everything I had planned to almost a year prior, did not come to life.
I began planning March of last year, 2022, and even hired a wedding planner. She was great, until she wasn’t. She began going over budget and just not keeping me in the loop of anything. I would only hear from her when deposits were due and minimal check ins. I already paid a deposit and didn’t want to lose my money, so I stuck It out…bad idea. She chose my venue for me because she stated that they allowed outside vendors and with my budget, It would be the perfect spot. My wedding was a destination wedding, so I had no idea where to begin, and had so much other things going on in my life that I didn’t want the stress of wedding planning. As time went on, I was regretting hiring her. She wasn’t doing her job. I had to find my own videographer, photographer, and DJ, because my planner kept putting me over budget and taking away from my decor. A month before my wedding, my planner flat out quit on me, stating It was too much tension and she couldn’t work in those conditions. I currently have a dispute with my bank to get my money back as she refused to return my money even though in the contract It only states no refund if the bride cancels contract, but nothing if planner cancels. Anyway, luckily none of the vendors backed out of the wedding, but I now had to handle everything on my own. We are the couple that everyone was expecting so much out of us for our wedding. All I kept hearing was, “I can’t wait to see what you have planned for your wedding, I know it’s going to be amazing!” As I was planning everything on my own, I just kept wishing I would have done so from the start. Wedding week came, and we arrived in Jamaica. The weather stated RAIN for the entire week!!!
I was devastated, but praying for the weather to be wrong. Wedding day came, and my stomach was on knots. I didn’t wake up excited, I woke up stressed as I looked out the window and saw clouds and rain. The wedding coordinator I was provided at the resort made me aware that I would have to make a decision to move the wedding indoors 2 hours before wedding start time. As time went out, the rain only got harder. A down pour, which is unusual for Jamaica. I was sick. I had no idea what to expect now that my wedding was going to be moved indoors. I was hoping for the best. When I came down to the room, my heart sank. The only thing that kept a smile on my face was seeing my husband’s face at the alter. They moved my wedding into a small conference room and squeezed 130 guest into that small space. I barely had an aisle to walk down. The bridesmaids and groomsmen had no where to stand comfortably at the front. As I’m writing this, I’m tearing up. We took pictures and then headed to the reception, which was moved into the ballroom. Since we weren’t expecting to be inside, we didn’t have the lighting for an indoor wedding, so the lights were kept ON and BRIGHT! Also, my tables and numbers were not set up correctly so the guest sat wherever they could find a seat. I walked into my reception wanting to cry. Everything felt so rushed after that. The Dj was not “reading the room” and paying attention to the crowd and seemed to be playing songs that people did not want to dance to. I was angry. For our cake, we ordered a 3 tier cake: only the top tier was suppose to be fake. As we were cutting. Both the top 2 tiers we fake, we had no idea we had to cut the bottom cake and ended up saying eff It and not even feeding each other cake. I was at the point when I just wanted to get out of my wedding dress and into my reception dress to dance. I didn’t even greet my dress and take pictures with them in my dress because I just wanted out. When I returned with my reception dress, my bridesmaids somehow got the coordinator to dim the lights. People now started to gravitate to the dance floor. By the end of It all I felt like everyone had high hopes for us and I failed them and I failed myself, as I was my sole planner for the last month of wedding planning.
Our pictures turned out amazing, but didn’t look as though we were in Jamaica. I can just picture me walking down the aisle towards the beautiful gazebo and how those pictures would have turned out. Sigh. We ended up taking pictures when we returned back to NY for the outdoor scenery. Those were amazing! At the end of It all, my husband understands my emotions and Is being supportive, but I just want these feelings to pass. Everyone keeps telling me it’s a blessing to rain on your wedding day, but It doesn’t seem like one when It completely ruins everything I envisioned. That’s the end of my vent, hopefully there’s someone out there that understands and hopefully this feeling will pass. Also…the day after the wedding was completely SUNNY! 🙄
