Not opening bridal shower gifts - wording

I hate the gift opening part of showers too, so I hope it's something I can skip (hopefully by making it a couple's shower that'll nip it in the bud).

I think something along the lines of 'To focus on quality time that many have missed due to Covid-19, any gifts received will not be opened at the shower by Liz. Thank you for your understanding, and we can't wait to catch up!'

Trying to make it super cutesy just gets confusing, so I think going straight forward will be the best bet.

It’s common where I live for the most part. Usually people put something like “Be A dear, wrap in clear” and people know to make it into a basket or wrap with cellophane.


I will say I did not do wrap un clear I had them wrapped normally and opened them the next day. I received a lot of thank yous from people of all ages for not opening gifts. They loved just being able to talk and enjoy the party. If people want to know what you got so bad they can look at your registry and see what was bought 🤷🏼‍♀️

I agree. I also do not like this portion. I skip it at every event I host.

For what it's worth, I totally agree with you - I also find it incredibly boring as a guest...and even uncomfortable while the guest of honor is opening the gift I gave (because there's an audience). I also wonder if you need to say anything on the invitation? Perhaps it'd be enough to have guests bring their gifts wrapped/unwrapped/doesn't matter....put them on a gift table....and then the MC can say something like "ok everybody, we will now start a game instead of the typical gift-opening. If you'd like for the bride to open your gift, please let her know as you're leaving, and she'll be glad to do so! Now, for the game......[yada yada yada]"

Just a thought...this could also depend on your crowd!

For whatever it's worth, I would probably just communicate you won't be opening gifts, and stay clear of specific wrapping instructions. That just feels a little onerous, especially for guests who either enjoy wrapping presents, or are already disappointed that you won't be opening them.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this, plus it causes an extra expense for someone who has to get a roll of cellophane they probably won't use again.


OP, I might suggest calling it a bridal luncheon or tea instead of a shower. People will probably still bring gifts but there won't be an expectation for you to open them.

View Quoted Comment I completely agree. Host a bridal luncheon. Gifts are not expected, but typically are brought. And there is not the expectation of opening in gifts in front of everyone.
I agree that I don’t enjoy the opening gifts portion of a shower, but I just can’t think of a way to put “bring me gifts that I won’t open” on an invitation. A bridal luncheon takes away that pressure, plus sounds a lot more enjoyable for your guests! (Come have a chill lunch with me, drink some mimosas, and laugh vs. come to a stuffy shower with cheesy games that no one enjoys, and watch me awkwardly open presents)

If spending quality time with your guests is the primary purpose for this event, you don't plan on opening gifts you receive, and you don't actually even care if guests bring a gift, then I would call this event something other than a bridal shower.

A shower implies you are being "showered" with gifts and you will be expected to open them, however awkward it is for everyone involved. I think calling it something else will relieve you of that expectation and take the pressure off of needing to open gifts or guests needing to bring them.

I totally understand you can choose to open gifts at home and have someone write down the people names to be able to send thank you cards later on

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I agree with all of this. Taking the focus off gifts via the event name (no mention of the word "shower") and invitation wording (no registry information, no instructions about how to wrap gifts or what will be done with gifts) makes the whole thing less awkward for attendees, host, and guest of honor.

But if you do insist on mentioning gifts, please just be direct with your expectations (e.g., "no gift opening") rather than using a poem. I think the poems started trending because people think they make rude or awkward requests and instructions (note: I am not calling you rude, this is in general towards those poems you find on Pinterest) less rude or awkward; they definitely do not. Clear communication is always best.

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I completely agree with this as well! I would call it a bridal luncheon instead of a shower

I agree with calling it something other than a shower. And I also personally wouldn’t put any wrapping instructions. If you do still want to call it a shower then I’d just maybe put something like “ the best gift I could receive is the presence of my friends and family after a long year of separation. To maximize quality time, any gifts received will not be opened at the party.”

TBH I don’t even think you have to say anything on the invitation. I’d just put the gifts aside rather than making them a focal point (which I’ve seen done from time to time). If people ask just politely say you’ve planned to enjoy time visiting together or playing an interactive game rather than opening presents. I’m sure they’ll understand. If someone is so heart set on watching you open their gift, you can always do it quickly after the shower when others have headed out.

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I love this response! I think it's straight to the point and if I were to read it I wouldn't think "wow how mean" or "wow really she isn't opening them?" I would think "that's sweet, I can't wait to catch up too!"

Maybe once you open the gifts, you can take pictures and send them out? For those who are curious as to what you received lol