Not really a reception....

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If you aren't hosting then you and your FH are going out to dinner alone?

If you have contacted anyone to say "hey come celebrate with us!" That's an invitation, even if it isn't on fancy card stock. It's fine if your family doesn't believe in RSVP-ing, only invite the number you can afford if they all show up.

This isn't law. Nothing is going to happen besides maybe a few confused family or friends that weren't expecting to pay at a celebration (which is why in my original comment I said to give your friends and family a heads up). You did post on an etiquette forum asking about hosting an informal dinner. I'm not judging. I literally said in my own post that I was dragged my first few posts on WW.

If you only want opinions that support your intention just post this as an update in the community conversations or planning section! You can just post letting people know this is your plan. We don't want to offend you with our experiences, etiquette, and opinions.

Since you are unable to host guests, which would be expected of anyone who invites guests to their wedding, I'd just elope.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I'm here for possible options that can work for me not spend time repeating myself over and over again and it's exhausting. I need options and I don't have a lot of time

View Quoted Comment There is no actual wedding. Its literally ours parents and 2 sibs; that's it. We will be going to dinner afterwards. No one is hosting anything. It is literally "hey, we are eating here. If you wanna come then come"

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But Jessica, if you are inviting people to share in your day with you and groom, you should be hosting? Do you not see that?

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I've literally said two things. First, that you seem to have already decided what you're going to do, despite asking in your initial post if it was "out of the ordinary." And, second, I agreed with another poster, whose thoughts I agree with. I haven't "shoved" a single idea on you or anyone else. Also, it's against community guidelines to call me a "nuisance." I haven't said anything about you or your plans other than agreeing with others that your plans are out of the ordinary.

View Quoted Comment Then skip the dinner with all the extra people.

Just have the people who are at the wedding at the dinner, and thank them for participating in your amazing day by paying for this meal.

View Quoted Comment So you did not read any of the part where I said our parents does not want us to pay for them and that they will take care of themselves but we still wanted to do something for them but not sure what? That part was completely missed. I asked my original question because I was curious. That is all. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, that's fine. But at this point, I'm only worried about our parents and they would be offended if we paid for them. If I'm not paying for my parents, why would I pay for anyone else?

View Quoted Comment But like I said, my other family members will just show. I know my family. And again, our parents are adamant about us not for anything for them, this offends them. So I want to "thank them" but it has to be a different way. These are the options and ideas I'm looking for at this point

View Quoted Comment Maybe order a special cake to share for dessert and make a toast to thank everyone for coming.

View Quoted Comment If you invite people out to dinner for your birthday, do you pay for everyone?

Please don’t make your guests pay for meals at your reception. If you can’t afford it, then skip it and just have the wedding ceremony.

That’s exactly what we are doing but we are paying for their dinner, It’s just to show a little appreciate we are only have about 8 people. But If you are strictly on a budget I would tell them before you invite so they don’t assume your paying

View Quoted Comment That's a great idea! We weren't even thinking about a cake but that sounds good to me. Maybe make a little card or something fo them too. Cool, that sounds awesome. Thank you!

View Quoted Comment We wanted to pay for our parents but they don't want us to. They don't like that kind of thing. The other family members, you just never know with them. 2 others can show up or 40. There's just no way I can plan for that.

View Quoted Comment No, I'm perfectly capable of reading.

Here why don't I quote you. 'It's not out of the ordinary that people pay for their own meals right?' Yes. Yes, ma'am it is out of the ordinary to host a dinner (since we aren't calling it a reception) and have your guests pay. Hopefully your curiosity was sated with that answer.

The reason you would pay for your other guests and not your parents is because they specifically came to you and said they want to pay their way. That's fine. Fewer mouths for you to feed. At least in my experience, I've never been invited to celebrate someone and then been asked to hand over my credit card.

If you don't want to pay for anyone's food I guess your options would be limited. I would consider just doing dinner with just your parents. You could invite family and friends over for celebratory drinks and cake if you'd like, but it would be expected that you and your FS pick up that tab.

If you want to go with another poster's suggestion it would be great to find a place where you can pay one fee (like a buffet) that way you just pay as they arrive (everyone except your parents of course).
If you want to go with your original plan I stand by my original suggestion. It is not commonplace ,at least where I've attended weddings and celebrations, for guests to pay to celebrate your life event. Since it is not commonplace it would be really nice if you could let them know ahead of time so they can make the choice whether to attend accordingly.

View Quoted Comment Yeah I can understand that. Don’t worry about it!
If you’re ok with posting your basic location(like nearest city) I can see what I can find from restaurants in your area. I might not find anything tonight but I’ll probably find something by tomorrow.
You’re in a time crunch and worried about your mom, just try not to let the thread get to you ok? People mean well, some are just more blunt than others.

View Quoted Comment I know right That was the whole reason of doing a ceremony at the courthouse house so that your not breaking your wallet. But people assume that the bride and groom will always pay. I think maybe a pot luck or just a simple bbq. Might be less stressful. My friend did a potluck for her wedding and there was so much food. All she bought was the cake and drinks.

Thank you everyone for your opinions and some helpful advice. My parents want to do the dinner as planned and agreed that if anyone wants to join they can, but they have to take care of themselves. Which, honestly, I doubt anyone would have a problem with in the end. I love the idea of getting an awesome cake though! We have some ideas on that already lol and the toast suggestion is a great touch (hadn't thought of that either). Someone mentioned doing a dinner for the parents and sibs which is a great idea. Since the parents don't want us to pay for dinner at the restaurant, we can make them dinner the night before or do something with them. I have zero idea of who would be there at the restaurant besides the core family so I'm not going to stress about that part. When it comes to my extended family, we can never plan for anything really which was why the restaurant idea came up in the first place. Cousins invite friends, new girlfriends, boyfriends, people are babysitting so they brought the kids; I'm not paying for all of that. If people don't understand that I'm sorry; I know my family. I was looking for help on making a decision on whether or not to pay for people; I already knew the decision to that. I was really looking for yes or no answers just fill my curiosity really. If anyone happens to think of anything else, please by all means throw them at me! We're happy with the decisions so far and again thank you for the ideas!

View Quoted Comment We thought about a bbq but my family is hard to predict when it comes to things like gatherings and they don't like to give a heads up for anything which is really annoying. A cousin of mine got married last year and they did a potluck type thing but family that said they would make didnt show and family that didn't say they would be there showed with nothing to offer... it sucked. Felt terrible for them... we ended up going to a restaurant where everyone paid for their own stuff whoever was there. I wish I had reliable extended family but I don't so planning anything with them in mind is very difficult