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Expert October 2020

Not sexually enough

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Shaina, on May 26, 2019 at 1:20 PM

This post might be TMI for some people, but I am feeling so hopeless , down , and not enough. Ever since fh and I have started having sex it’s always been sort of like making it perfect. He was a virgin I was not. The issue was that he was never finishing. He thought the clear stuff was finishing. We were struggling and still are just to make it happen for him. Every once in a while he will be able to finish but when he doesn’t I feel like I’m not enough for him sexually. Outside of sex everything is great , but most of our arguments are about sex and how I feel when he isn’t able to finish with me. He always says I am but I believe actions show more than words . He also will end up getting soft towards the end of sex and he will just say “I love you” and it just upsets me more when he says that because I feel that he’s saying it to not make me feel bad or upset. I have no idea what to do anymore.

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24 Comments

Super August 2019
Tina · on May 28, 2019 at 12:23 PM
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Sounds like a side effect of a medication. Is he on an SSRI or some other medication that causes ejaculation dysfunction?
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on May 28, 2019 at 1:21 PM
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I would discuss this with a sex therapist.
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Super October 2020
Renee · on May 28, 2019 at 6:05 PM
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He might need to see a doctor and you should probably go to counseling to talk through these things
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Expert October 2020
Shaina · on July 1, 2019 at 11:12 AM
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UPDATE: I have really gotten over the feeling of not being or looking good etc no good enough for him. I don't know what switched in my brain, but I should be enough for him if hes with me right?. I figured out that he doesn't like doing the work (being on top) to make himself finish. Frustrating to me, because I find this very selfish. I also think I am putting a lot of focus on this aspect , because this is my love language and without it I feel unsafe if he is not communicating or respecting my language as I do his. All of this really didn't matter before we got engaged. For some reason after we did I was like really cracking down and really focused to get this resolved before we get married(side note we do have a great relationship outside of sex, but when the topic comes up it gets frustrating again). We are going to be seeing our therapist weekly now and put more focus on him since a lot of the focus was on me.
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