Not sure if this is the appropriate section, but.. Planing a 10 year vow renewal for next year and i have a question about invites!

I don't think you need to write that sentence in your invites, instead I would just write that it's an invitation for a 10-year vow renewal!

View Quoted Comment Well that's sort of my point, I don't really want to write that specific sentence, just something that like, implies it? Some cute wording or whatnot? I just feel like people would be more receptive and understanding. My parents have been married 31 years so 10 doesn't seem like a whole lot and I'm worried others might be agree. However, if they know the reason behind our renewal they might not be judgy if even at all? I don't know, I'm over thinking it hahaha.

I don’t think your guests will judge at all! Vow renewals are becoming so popular, and especially with covid a lot of couples have been doing them after 2 or 3 years (like if they had a small covid ceremony and are finally getting around to their dream wedding). A friend of mine just did a full blown Indian wedding vow renewal because they rushed to get married after their engagement because of her grandma’s age (98!!!), and they just wanted to make sure she would definitely make the wedding (she made the second one too and killed it on the dance floor lol). Anyway, my point is just I don’t think an explanation is needed, and 10 years is a totally acceptable vow renewal time especially given that shorter timelines are becoming so popular.

View Quoted Comment I think that most people wouldn't judge anyone for having a vow renewal, especially on a milestone anniversary! Like Kimberly said, vow renewals are becoming more and more popular. Ten years is a good amount of time to be married, and a vow renewal is a wonderful way to celebrate that!

Yeah you guys are right, I'm just paranoid and self-conscious I guess, haha! I guess that's why I have the urge to justify it, partially defensive too possibly? As far as gifts, we wanted to put put please no gifts too, because lord knows we don't need more stuff.. Is that okay you think?

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Etiquette wise, gifts are never referred to on the invitations, even 'no gifts'. If you're doing a website that would be the place to do it.

I think most people would understand a simple 'vow renewal' in terms of wording. Enjoy your planning!

I think you’re overthinking this. I would send invitations to a ten year anniversary celebration. Regardless of how simple or modest it may have been, you had a wedding, so I would definitely not say anything to the effect of “the wedding you never had.”


It’s not proper to write anything about gifts, including “no gifts” since you aren’t supposed to be thinking along those lines. Besides, in my experience people tend to ignore that. If anyone asks directly just say you only want their company.
While your dress can be any color IMO it should match the formality of the overall event. I would discourage a full blown wedding gown since you are a wife, not a bride.

View Quoted Comment I've been to two renewals, both family and between 25-50 years and both invites said no gifts. They were black tie as well. I might write no gifts on the website if we have one, like someone suggested. Our renewal will be formal, a white wedding gown is a non-negotiable for me however. Hahaha. I am a wife, I don't think that should keep me from wearing something I want to, that I never got to wear. Realizing I could now fit into "normal" size dresses inspired us to do this too haha. My husband wants me to be happy and is excited to see me in a gown. So are the friends and family who know about this. Thank you for your advise!

View Quoted Comment I said in another comment, I've been to two renewals for family, very posh and they wrote no gifts. I guess if you're that rich you can get away with it - To which I am now.

I am not!!! *****

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Etiquette is not dependent on someone's financial status.

It's a faux pas to refer to gifts in an invitation.

View Quoted Comment Etiquette is not as black and white as it appears. You'll find etiquette teachers and experts didn't all necessarily agree. Lastly, I don't think my guests will mind. I take back that specific question as I think about it more. If someone is offended enough to see my invite and think, oh, what a faux pas, I don't think I want them as my event. It's not that deep, as the kids say today haha. Thank you though! 👍☺️

View Quoted Comment And I was very much just joking.

Do what makes you happy - wear your dream dress! Life’s too short to worry about optics as much as some may suggest.

Congratulations on 10 years of marriage and planning your vow renewal! If I may, it sounds like you may be overthinking all this. 10 years of marriage is a great accomplishment, and definitely worthy of a celebration! Don’t feel the need to justify it! Also, the whole white wedding dress thing has been completely thrown out the window. Second time brides can wear white dresses, just like first time brides can wear black dresses. No one is going to bat an eye, so definitely rock your dream wedding dress with confidence! 🤘🏻 I do agree with others that gifts should never be mentioned on an invitation. However, that rule was created to prevent couples from looking gift grabby; and you requesting no gifts would definitely not come off that way. So, if that is something you really want to do, you totally can. Is it faux pas?- sure. But is it rude?- no.

View Quoted Comment People do all kind of things.


In the scheme of things “no gifts” is not one of your more egregious etiquette violations, coming as it does with good intentions. Another issue is that people who comply feel badly when, as mentioned, it’s evident that this request is routinely ignored.
Likewise, if your party is formal there’s technically nothing wrong with wearing a gown of any color. I would personally feel out of place in a wedding dress. YMMV.

I think just stating you are celebrating your anniversary in the form of a vow renewal with reception is sufficient. Hubby and I are celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary and I kept invites simple & beautiful.

On your invitation, you could also consider emphasizing the significance of the event, rather than the fact that it's a wedding do-over. For example:

"Please join us as we renew our vows and celebrate the love that has grown stronger over the past 10 years. We look forward to sharing this milestone with you, our cherished friends and family, as we honor the commitment we made to each other on our wedding day. Your presence will make this day even more special."

View Quoted Comment Beautifully stated.

View Quoted Comment This is beautifully written!