Not your mother's wedding!

I don't think this is a generational difference, but my mom has NEVER heard of or been to a wedding with a cocktail hour. And she's been to SO many. I told her we were having cocktail hour before starting dinner so we had time to take photos and she said "no, the guests are supposed to start eating dinner while you take pictures". She thinks a cocktail hour sounds excessive and unnecessary.

She also thinks Save the Dates are weird because no one did those "back in the day" lol

I don't think it's generational either but mother in law was saying I don't have my dad walk me down the aisle aha. I walked myself.

My MIL didn’t understand why we wanted to plan the wedding on our own solely with the help of a wedding planner. She said in her day the parents planned the wedding and the bride and groom just showed up. She actually came up to me the day after and said it was the best event she’d ever attended and she could see now how a professional event planner could plan something better than her.

Umm like everything I want lol. Engagement pictures apparently weren't a thing when my parents got married, she didn't understand spending money on it. Save the dates too, we have a lot of out of town and state guests so for us this was important to send these out. I also choose to have mismatched bridesmaid dresses from Azazie in the same color, material and length; my mom was like they have to match and no one will want to order them online. No mom you are the only one I know who truly hates online shopping.

My dad doesn’t understand that being family doesn’t automatically make you included in the wedding party. The other day he goes “you’re including your cousin Bob, right?” I tell him no and that as much as I would love to have Bob included in the wedding party, my hubby and I agreed each was picking their own side. My dad had a fit but I explained it to him after he cooled off. Nothing against my cousin, I love him to pieces but I can’t choose everyone. Hubby’s sister isn’t included and people need to understand that times are different. I am not including everyone so that no one feels left out. Get over it! Lol

I wouldn't say my parents didn't understand it, but they had never seen/heard of a memorial table, which I found unusual since every wedding I've been to as an adult has had one.

My mom has been gone for a long time, but I can still remember stories she used to tell me about her wedding to my dad, and how she put it together. They got engaged, then were married only 6 weeks later!! And no, they did not elope! It was just a lot different back then. This was in 1965, so WAY back in the day. They got married in a local church, and had their reception at a community hall in their hometown. I've seen the pictures lots of times, and Mom had a maid of honor and one bridesmaid, Dad had a best man and a groomsman. The ladies matched the bride in their style of dress, only shorter (as opposed to the full length wedding dress) and a color (pink as opposed to the white wedding dress), but they all looked coordinated. The men were dressed to match my dad.

It's funny how in one sense, it's so similar to what we (brides and grooms) do now, but at the same time, vastly different. There were no engagement photos, no STDs, no DWs (unless you count the traditional elopement), no wedding party proposals, no bach weekends. It was much simpler and a lot less expensive. I think one of my mother's aunts baked their wedding cake, and it was a potluck dinner (all the relatives on both sides made food to bring), there was no DJ, but there was a band who played for a couple of hours. There was a bouquet toss and garter toss, a money dance, father/bride and mother/groom dances, but no send off of any kind.

I sometimes sit with my complex wedding planning binder, and long for those simpler times. But, old or new, my wedding is going to be everything I have envisioned since I was a little girl.

The biggest difference is we are making a big deal out of our second marriage. I have been talking to my dad about the wedding and get the impression that he thinks we would just show up in nice clothes (not wedding attire), say I do, and have a party. He asked what he should wear and I told him no need to get overly dressed up, slacks, button up, and sports coat would be great since I know he would be comfortable in that and a nice tie. His exact words when I said, no need to go overboard were "Well yeah, it's not like it's your first wedding". (For background he has been married to my wonderful step-mom for 35 years, they eloped without any of us kids there) I was a bit taken back by it, but that's my dad. Then during another discussion after I discussed a few of our details he came back with "Honestly, I don't know what to expect". I'm laughing at it all because my old fashioned dad is making an effort to come to my handfasting ceremony to another woman, but man he knows how to lay it on sometimes.

My FMIL is having a hard time understanding that i’m Not inviting EVERY SINGLE FEMALE who is invited to the wedding to my bridal shower. My grandma is having a hard time with the fact that we’re not getting married in a church and that our friend is officiating the wedding. My dad is struggling with the fact that my Fh has women in his party. My FMIL is also struggling with the fact that we’re not doing favors, we’re not doing welcome bags for hotel guests, and that we’re not inviting every family member and their friends

My parents have sadly both passed on, but given that they married in 1966, they would NOT understand and would HATE the whole "first look". I don't think they'd understand save-the-dates when you are also sending an invitation, and I know for sure they'd think spending over 5K on a wedding is insane.

I told my mom years ago I would not be married in a Catholic church. We were raised Catholic but I stopped going in college as I don't believe in it but was force fed it as a child. Mom made her peace with this 10 years ago.

Mom is the one who is INSISTING on save the dates! I would rather do an email version but her and dad are paying for a good chunk of the wedding so I'll let that go-it's not a big deal to me, just seems like a waste of stamps.

Most of these are preferences and not glaring generational things:

My mom hasnt really dealt with a cocktail hour but since she will be at family picture time, she probably wont even see cocktail hour. That said, the bigger thing is that for her generation, she was told she had to be in nothing but white while i have navy blue on the straps and train of my dress.

Also for her and my FH's parents, pastels were all the rage where we will have significantly darker colors. Neither my parents or maternal grandparents had full receptions either. grandparents had a quickie wedding that hadnt really been planned until the week before because they didnt know when his military leave would be and the next day, they were both off to Georgia where grandpa was stationed in the army (Wedding was in Michigan). Mom and Dad threw bouquet/garder on the steps of the church and were immediately sent off to the honeymoon. I've no clue on the other grandparents marriage but given the lack of pictures, money and outside family involvement, i doubt it was a grand affair.

Also mom offered to walk me down the aisle if my dad and stepdad cant handle themselves for the job of doing so together.

Also I will be the first generation in atleast 10 to utilize the family tartan as I recently tracked back. *didnt know it was the family tartan when i picked it!*

We're spending about 1/3 as much as my parents did. I remember my dad saying how invitations were important and my mum is definitely into the bridesmaids matching 100%

My parents had a potluck at their wedding. My mom suggested that to me and I said thanks, but no thanks

Probably the biggest, most glaring difference between what my mom expected and what happened was that I had 2 males on my side, and hubby had a female on his side. My mom HATED it, but she got over it eventually. There were probably many other things, but that was the biggest one.

My parents planned their wedding in three months in 1991. My engagement was almost 16 months!

The concept of a coed shower seemed to throw everyone over the age of 45 for a loop.

My stepmother was even a little confused why *I* was upset my mother gave me lingerie at the shower (she understood I didn't want it from my mom, but she thought that was the point of the shower). When I explained that lingerie showers are now stated specifically as such, she got it.

My mom in law didn't understand me not having my dad walk me down the aisle. In my culture a big thing is something sort of similar to receiving line except we call it entrance photos. They're basically a photo we take with each guest and they get a print of the photo in a folder to keep. They were appalled when we said we weren't really interested in doing those. We ended up doing it anyway.

I think for the most part my mom was pretty good about stuff - but she thought it extremely odd that our processional/recessional songs all had lyrics lol

Online RSVPs have been a big point of contention. I don’t want to waste money on paper RSVPs when 99.9% of our guests could easily RSVP online in less than a minute.