Now what!?

Yikes. It sounds like you two really need to sit down (when he’s not intoxicated) and have an honest conversation about expectations. He should be able to go out and have drinks without you calling “so many” times, but you also shouldn’t have to sit around waiting for him to come home late. I would definitely have this discussion before any more planning occurs. I’d also highly recommend pre-marital or couples counseling to help you two work on your communication, because it sounds like there’s something that’s getting lost in translation.

View Quoted Comment He just said "why can't i hang out when you are going to do whatever tomorrow" whatever being me looking at wedding dresses!!

View Quoted Comment Without knowing either of you, it definitely sounds like you have a certain set of expectations and they are different than his set of expectations. Right now, with him being inebriated, you’re not going to have a fruitful conversation. When you’re both sober, I really suggest you discuss these expectations (with clear reasons as to why you have them and without raised voices, etc) to see each other’s perspective and hopefully find a compromise. From the brief description you gave, it sounds like neither of you are absolutely right nor absolutely wrong in this situation. Learning how to communicate your expectations clearly and effectively will only give your marriage better odds at success.

I am not sure what led to the argument but may I ask what does you trying on wedding dresses have to do with him not being home? Are you expecting him to go with you?

Someone has been married many years. If this is the way you’re talking to each other now before you get married don’t expect it to get better. If you want him to come with you to buy the dress as adults you should’ve figured that out before and come to an agreement. It sounds like neither one of you are ready to get married.

I do not expect him to go with me. But I just wanted him home with me the night before I go look at dresses.

View Quoted Comment Why? That doesn’t seem to make sense.

Honey when I went dress shopping yes I went to David bridal my first appointment I took my mom , lil sister and my daughter she 6 I told my FH he said okay have fun he was excited the day I went it was his work day my second appointment I bought same ppl with this time I bought his mom with us she was excited I told him he was like that’s wassup y’all ladies have fun him and my brother they went running after he get off work if u have mom or good girl friend take them with you have fun with it

View Quoted Comment Idk. Just wanted to spend a romantic night together before me going and picking out my wedding dress. My sister told me im overreacting...seems i am. Sucking it up realizing im overreacting and enjoying my day.

View Quoted Comment Yep, totally overreacting, but I’m glad you can realize that and move on. Good luck finding your dress!

If he’s not ALWAYS out and responding like this then I don’t see the problem. Are you having him go dress shopping with you?


If not then I don’t see how the two relate. But I also don’t know your situation

View Quoted Comment Drunken stupidity. I overreacted 🤦

It's good you have a new perspective. Unless it's an on-going issue/problem that he's out getting drunk or that you were in agreement about last night being a "romantic pre-wedding dress shopping celebration" and he blew off a commitment, I agree this probably isn't a concern. If you often find that the two of you have different expectations about issues like time spent apart, wedding planning, drinking, etc., then having some honest (and sober) conversations would probably be a huge benefit for your relationship. Immediately questioning whether you should dress shop/wedding plan because he was out with friends last night and found your frequent communication irritating does seem concerning. Good luck! Hopefully, it was just a misunderstanding about expectations.

It’s easy to overreact, but think that’s something my fiancé and I have done are little talks in the evening (haven’t been great with it lately). It’s about 20 mins NO phones or tv. We talk about our day, how we’re doing, and anything we need help with. I honestly love it because it’s helped us pause when life can get busy and simply communicate. It’s helped us make sure we’re on the same page with things and talk about anything that’s on our mind or If there’s something we’d like to do like a romantic night before something. Cus yes maybe not everyone does that, but it does sound like something that you’d like. Maybe something like this can help as well?

View Quoted Comment Well I would ask did you communicate that you wanted a romantic evening with him? That's not a tradition but nothing wrong with wanting to but if you expect these things you should plan and communicate. Remember wedding things are often for us Brides and men aren't as into things or aware. I think him wanting to spend time with his friends isn't bad but if you want a date night with him then I would communicate with him.

I think I missed something. Is he going with you to try on wedding dresses?

View Quoted Comment No. I just overreacted. I was in the moment of being upset when i made this forum conversation.


I realized i was in the wrong.

View Quoted Comment Let him have his fun tonight and you’ll have yours tomorrow. Unfortunately, women/brides have a tendency to make “special moments” out of damn near everything wedding related. Guys could care less about the pre-wedding dress shopping and many other girly weddings tasks. Please don’t force it on him and don’t prove him to be correct about you bickering.

View Quoted Comment Oh that’s good! I guess that a good test of things you can work on before the marriage. Glad you’re feeling better.

View Quoted Comment It’s okay, we ALL do it sometimes!