NWR: Anyone else on the fence about having kids?

I am totally on the fence. When I was 25, I said I would have my first kid by 30. I am now 31 and said I would decide if I even wanted children by 35. I couldn't imagine NOT having kids, but right now I couldn't imagine having one.

Same. No freaking clue. I always assume we will, at some point, in the future, maybe. However I don't have a longing to have them at all. Indifferent.

Glad I'm not alone!

My mom gave me good advice. She said to make sure you want to/are ready to raise another child for 18 years, not just that you want to have another baby.

I have never wanted kids....FH told me a a year into dating if I didn't want them we needed to reconsider our relationship. That was a huge bomb but was like okay I'll think about it and didn't really bring it up until maybe the last year-two years~ish?

NOW I'm like OMG babies gimme gimme....and then I remember how where they come out of and I cringe....I want them...I just don't want to have it myself. But I will eventually get over that!

I'm undecided too. Luckily (or unluckily, depending on your perspective), my husband is also unsure. Our current plan is to reevaluate when I turn 30 (I'm 28 now), but I think it's fairly likely that we won't have any. We like our life together the way it is. Both of our sets of parents would be amazing grandparents, though.

Same here!! Some days I think I want to start having kids soon after we get married then there are days that I literally want nothing to do with that idea!

I was just sitting here looking at the $30 in my bank account, wondering how I even adult sometimes. I need to get my shit together before I am responsible for another life.

I'm also on the fence. It's kind of annoying that as soon as you get married people are constantly asking you, " when are you having kids?" For crying out loud, we have only been married for four months give us a break!

I feel you Mrs. B!!!

I have been getting a lot of pressure lately about kids and I'm not even married yet!

I always say I don't want kids. And 99% of the time it's true, I really just don't want kids. They're amazing but they're also gross, mean, scary, and permanent. Like totally permanent. You can't un-mom yourself. But then there's that rare 1% of the time when I play with my sweet nephew or hold my friends baby that I'm like omg this is what I want. But that usually gets quickly shot down by a tantrum or poop filled diaper!

I've firmly said no in the past. Now, I'm not ruling it out, but I also know that it won't be anytime soon, if ever. I don't have that longing feeling whatsoever.

Lol VM...same. We've always been at a "no", but maybe look into fostering/adoption. I think we will reassess the conversation on our trip to Hawaii in November. I'll be 27. I told him I don't want to have this conversation when I'm 30. Raising kids into retirement age seems just as unappealing, if not more, than having them super young.

Totally not sure here either! I will be 36 and my FH 39 by the time we get married. I just don't know and he doesn't either, which is great that we are on the same page. We know we need to decide in the next year or two. We just love our life the way it is.

Yeah, I am afraid I am getting too old too. Then I see our neighbors, she just turned 37 and he will be 40 this week and had their first kid and they are amazing. Hmph.

I am way too selfish at this point in my life to think about children. FH & I have said we will reevaluate when I am 35 (4 more years). When I was younger I would have told you I'd have 4 kids by 30. When my friends started having them my tune changed...they are so much work...forever. Not to mention expensive! I think of all the money my dad has spent on me in the last 31 one years and cringe!

Firmly in the "when pigs fly" camp regarding kids...always have been! I don't know why, but I've just never felt that urge or desire and most of the time I cannot stand being around other peoples' kids for very long either. Crying babies, whiny toddlers and hyper kids make my blood pressure skyrocket, lol, I just can't handle it, don't have the patience for it. Thankfully the man of my dreams was 100% decided on the same for himself before we even met. He doesn't mind being around them they way that I do, but he has 8 nieces and nephews to give him a "kid-fix" every now and then. Sometimes I feel guilty that my parents won't ever be grandparents (and that's all me, they don't give me any grief about it at all and know exactly where I stand)...they'd be fantastic grandparents for sure and I know they'd be over the moon...just not enough of a reason to change my mind though, lol!

Yup! FH And I love to travel, eat/drink, celebrate lol so we're definitely on the fence now- we've decided if we're having kids, 1 it is and probably not until mid thirties. My parents were older when I was born and I definitely want to make sure we're able to comfortably support a child!

I ride the fence here and there, then again FH and I are only 24. My momma always told me "if and when you're ready, you will know. For me it was the thought of having to buy shoes every few months. I hated it. Then one day, I realized... I'm.OK with that. And here you are. Make sure you make enough time to enjoy each other first". I swear by those words. FH was baby crazy when we first got together because FBIL had children. But now, he agrees with me and we are waiting until we feel more financally comfortable. I've been baby crazy the last few days though, so it may sooner than I think Lol.

Absolutely. I have NO idea what I want in this regard, and neither does FH. We both like our lives as is, have strong concerns about the financial aspect of children, and I have some health issues that scare me when it comes to have children. None of those things should stop anyone else for any reason, but when you add that to the fact that I don't have a longing for them (even at the age of 30), it makes me unsure. There are times when I think I'd miss out on an important part of life if we didn't have children though, and I don't want that either. Le sigh...I figure I can put off making the decision for another few years.