NWR: Anyone else on the fence about having kids?

I'm DEF on the fence. I babysit my niece and nephews on a regular basis and I love them but some days I'm just like omg there driving me crazy! this is how it will be with kids. Also FH like rushes me out the door and niece was crying hysterically cause she didn't want me to stay, FH was getting pissed cause she was climbing on our car and wouldn't let us go, I was trying to be calm, and I was like oh wow is this life with kids for us.

When I was in my early twenties (28 now), I wanted 2-3. I also thought I'd be married by 21. The more I started establishing myself, and my priorities I realized I didn't want them. It helped that I moved away from my hometown where everyone gets married to their high school sweetheart and has a dozen kids. I realized I need to do what's best for me, and I love my life just the way it is. I can't imagine having kids now. Although I do LOVE playing with babies! It's that whole, I can't give them back once the fun is over, thing. Thankfully FH has always been in the no kids mindset.

I have ALWAYS wanted kids, as long as I can remember. Kids has always been a strict yes! I now work at a high school were I am with kids ALL DAY! There is no stronger form of birth control then that. lol but really I know I will end up having kids I just think I may wait a little longer then I thought I would.

Im of the 'it happens for us, yay -- but if it doesnt, i wont feel unfulfilled in my life' camp.

DH and I are firmly in the no camp. I am too afraid of the state of our planet to have kids. I fear enough with the possibility of Trump being pres. The ice caps are melting, sea levels raising, food is being pumped with Shit, our country and the world are at odds with each other and I would feel too guilty having kids.

Just give me a bunch of dogs and cats! They love unconventually too!

I've seen several other brides on here speak of this. I am one of them.

I like kids. I love them. I do have the nurturing nature. However, the thought of being pregnant scares the crap out of me. Mental illness runs in my family. And honestly there is a small part of me that is afraid of becoming like my mother.

This is probably way personal of a post, but. I'm just being honest.

Oh VM you just made me literally LOL. Dont worry OP you're definitely not alone. I used to tell my early 20 self that I just had to have at least two kids by the time I was 30. Ehhh I am now 30 and still don't think I want them anytime soon. I also hate that my FMIL pushes the subject on us so much.

This last Christmas her comment killed me :/ Our wedding is in August and she said this past Christmas "Ooooh by this time next year you wont be drinking anymore." As I had a full glass of wine in my hand...

We were so close to starting...and now I am freaking out that I'm 32, and my career is just stalled out and I feel like now I need to refocus on my career and get it straight, but it leaves no room for kids. We are actually kind of in a big fight right now about this. I feel like if I wait any longer for kids it just won't happen, but I am tired of being miserable in my jobs...

I'm so glad this exists! I feel the same way. At this point in time, FH and I don't see us raising a child but that could change.

FH and I do want one. Maaayyybbeee two but I didn't for a long time. I have 3 nieces and 3 nephews. Couldn't imagine not having them but I've watched my sister and my brother struggle in different ways for what seems like ages. The choices they and their SO's have made are partially to blame but it makes it all seem so scary and overwhelming. On the other hand, I know I would be a wonderful mother and I look forward to becoming pregnant one day...just not delivering. I just try not to think about it. Thankfully we both agree we want to wait about 2 years.

We were open about not wanting kids since the beginning and would like to be able to own a nice house, go on trips, ect...so kids never fit into that plan. Would like a more permanent method of contraception, but very difficult to get when you have no children. I'm thinking we may have better luck soon since there is a lack of access to reproductive services in our state. Maybe doctors will be more lax.

I don't think I could even have a child safety if I wanted to. I have blood pressure issues - guaranteed pre-ecyclamsia. So it's a good thing I don't want to anyway.

Not really D&N- I completely agree. I don't want to pass on weight issues and mental disorder. I don't wish that on anyone. FH says that's ridiculous but I really don't think so.

I am happy for this post and that so many others are feeling the same "no clue" feelings.

I go from wanting a baby right now to not wanting them at all at least once a week. We decided the other day that since we keep going back and forth about this we'll wait until we're at least 30 to decide. We're 25 now so we have time.

We don't want kids and when we say that (usually in response to the "when you have kids you'll....) people look at us like we're nuts.

We like our lifestyle. I like working and working a lot. We like going out when we want to and coming home when we want to and not having to worry.

I'm on the fence about having biological kids and would love to adopt as many as possible. I've always wanted a big family since FH and I aren't in touch with our families. However, I'm 29 now and have to be very careful about ttc, pregnancy, and delivery due to some medical issues. It can be done but I would have to visit docs every single week and can only have c-sections. There will still be a major risk of having complications with the child. I also don't think I want to run the risk of passing down any medical issues. We're only considering biological since FH wants them and I'm still on the fence. If only adopting was easier.

When I was in college, I knew I would not have children until I was in my 30's. When I was in my 30's, I was definitely on the fence, but extremely glad I did not have children. The guy I was with turned out to be a lying cheat. However, I had our twin boys when I was 47, adopted a little girl at 49 and now have DH's 6 YO son.

My suggestion, if you are on the fence about having children, don't jump until you are absolutely sure. Because once they're here, parent is the only position you will ever have that has no retirement/exit interview.

I am with Kathryn and Nicole- I have also suffered with mental health and weight issues my entire life. It scares me to pass that on. I am afraid of being a parent. Ugh.

Same. I'm not sure I'll ever want them. I'm pretty selfish, and I'm just not sure I'll ever stop being this way, or at least enough to be a parent.

FH goes back and forth, but he thinks he wants them. However, his job kind of precludes kids for at least 5 years (which is a-okay with me). Maybe by that point, when I'm in my early 30s, I'll be more ready. Or he'll realize that being a doctor with a working wife, since there's no fucking way on this goddamn planet I'll be a SAHM, is too hectic of a life to bring kids into. If we end up pulling the trigger, I guess it could be okay, but I'd be perfectly happy without them,

I've always said no. The thought of raising a kid and dealing with one sounds horrible. Just last night there was a kid screaming in a store and reminded me of why I don't want to deal with them haha. I like to get up and do what I want to do when I want to do it. My FH feels the same way. My cat is my furbaby.

FH definitely doesn't want any (our lifestyle isn't really ideal for kids), and I am on the fence. That being said, my FH would make an AMAZING father!