NWR: My birthday: Am I being selfish?

@OP I hope you start feeling better! I'm sorry you're stressed and it's causing you to be sad about this.

I get it. No, it's not a huge deal, but your feelings are hurt and/or just feeling forgotten. I've learned, it took awhile, to just find something I'd like to do that would make me happy and ask others if they'd want to join.......... Happy early birthday!

This happened to me this year as well. We typically do dinner the weekend before or after and then just hang out. This year we did that for my brother's birthday (before mine) and for my aunt's (after mine), but mine was skipped.

I can understand being a little disappointed, I was. I let it go, though. I figure as we're getting older, it's less important and everyone's schedules are more hectic. People treat birthdays differently. Some go big every year, others don't really celebrate, so you're going to get a wide variety of opinions on this.

I would be upset if solely for the reason your mom is making a big deal about your brother's birthday and not yours. And the fact that your family is usually big on birthdays but now all of a sudden they just don't seem to care about yours for some reason. That would be upsetting to anyone, I'm sure!

I think some people are just more sensitive than others. I know I am, because my feelings are often very deep but not always made clear to those around me. And sometimes stressful things (like wedding planning) can bring out more sensitivity. Don't beat yourself up over this, I think it's normal to feel down especially if your family always does a birthday dinner but now out of the blue they're not!

Maybe if you expressed your feelings outright that would help, like to your mom. Like "it's tradition that we always have a birthday dinner, and it would really mean a lot to me if we could do something for my birthday." Or could you have a joint celebration with your brother? My sisters were born a month apart and they always had joint birthday parties. 12 days is super close together. I don't think you're being selfish. Even adults have feelings.

Do you think there may be a surprise birthday shindig happening? If not, just have a dinner with FH and cousin and continue to enjoy your birthday. You have many more coming.

Invite them to your house and host your own birthday

Thanks everyone!! I appreciate all the feedback and kind words.

I understand. Last yr my parents forgot my birthday and on the day of got reminded by my neighbor who didnt forget and invited me to dinner. My parents went out and bought the cake my 4 yr old neice wanted and then cut the cake without me. I only live 4 minutes from them.

I mean, it's a birthday.

But, why are you waiting for other people to plan something? If you want to do something for your birthday, make a plan and ask people to attend. If they can't/won't, nbd. Enjoy the time with FH, or by yourself.

ETA - Also, when there are that many birthdays at the same time, it's a lot to expect a separate event for each one. Why dont you and your brother just do a joint dinner? My parents are 12 days apart. I ADORE my parents. I guarantee you that i would not make 2 trips to NJ to take them out to dinner separately. And they know it's ridiculous to even ask. I will get up there, and we will go to dinner, but it might not even be around the time of either of their birthdays. You're being silly.

I think as an adult, if you want to celebrate your birthday, you take it into your own hands. Plan your own party or getaway and enjoy it with whom you want.

Like pp have said. It's not really a big deal unless you let it be a big deal.

Happy early birthday.