Officiant

Feelings are valid, and his are no exception. I, personally, would have definitely given him a thank you gift at the very least. And it was incredibly rude and inconsiderate to give everyone around him a gift, except him. However, this is not something I would end a close friendship over. If this person has always been a good friend to him, I would give them the benefit of the doubt that they simply didn’t understand the etiquette around it, and that it was simply an oversight, not a slight against him.

How long ago was the wedding? Did they never express appreciation verbally or write a thank you note or is your H focused on a gift?


I agree with PP. There is a difference between doing what you and I might consider the appropriate thing in a given situation and the expectation that others always will. It’s possible they wrongly believe appreciation is for monetary contributions. Calling him out over this would be rude too since there’s never any entitlement to a gift.
Was this also your wedding gift to them? Is it possible they don’t fully appreciate that in addition to all the time and effort you saved them a LOT of money and they expected a tangible gift from you? If you did give a separate wedding gift did they ever send a thank you? If so, that’s evidence they believe thanks are for things that cost money. Is it possible that they just haven’t gotten around to thanking him yet?
Bottom line, if this is a true friend I would chalk it up to ignorance unless there’s evidence that something else was going on.