On the fence to invite

I had around 200 people on my original guest list but decided to downsize to around 85. For us, it was really easy to cut people once we had our mind made up on what kind of wedding we wanted to have. We agreed that we would much rather have a celebration with our nearest and dearest, so we easily weeded out the people we didn't care to have there.

We used questions like "Have we seen them in the past year?", "How often do we catch up?", "Do we even like them?", "Are we inviting them because we love them and want them there? Or because we feel like we have to?".

Thinking of it that way made our decisions super easy! And we don't regret it one bit! It'll be a celebration in our honor with the people most important to us. Also, if you think of how much you're spending per person for them to be there, it puts things in perspective LOL

If we were on the fence about anyone we did not invite them. There’s reasons why you have people that you feel “on the fence” about. Whether it be you feel like these people will pull no call no shows, or make fools of themselves or upset you on your wedding day, or even if it’s something as simple as you don’t feel as strong of a connection with them. Only invite people that you truly 100% would love to see at your wedding

I haven’t had my wedding yet, but I’ve already began working on the guest list and cutting out who I would really be wasting a plate on at my wedding reception. I want an intimate wedding, less than 120 people (100 being the sweet spot). Family members you only see twice a year, or that second cousin who only reaches out to you only on holidays they remember to do so, or that aunt that repeats the same childhood story to you every time she sees you because she has nothing else to say to you are examples of people who can be cut from a monumental moment like your wedding day. I don’t regret cutting family who I know will be upset because 1) it’s my day and I want the people closest to me there and 2) these are the same family and spotty friends who you only hear from once in a blue moon. You don’t want to take pictures and have the misfortune of inviting people who you know you won’t talk to after your wedding, because you never had a relationship with them before.

I invited one set of grandparents and aunts and cousins to be nice... well, the one uncle i REALLY wanted there can't come, and my 2 blood cousins can't come but their wife and fiancee can come . and the grandmother i didn't think would come since she wouldn't come for christmas or other stuff "due to covid", but she suddenly can make it to her oldest grandchild's wedding... and didn't think an aunt would come and now she is....ugh..... wishing i didn't invite them, cuz now i have to find a spot for the aunt to sit and NONE of my family want her at their table.

Thank you all! This is informative. I will admit I thought most of the "on fence" guests ended up making the cut but doesn't seem to be the case here.

There are some people I do wish I'd invited, but they didn't make the cut because we tried to invite my family.

If my family hadn't been *unspeakably rude* and actually RSVP'd "no", instead of ignoring me from the moment they got the invites... I'd have revamped our guest list.

But our crowd was still the people we loved, so it worked out ok.

View Quoted Comment Good thinking! I agree 100%. This sound terrible but I also have my A group (must have people), B group ( people you want them to be there), C group ( you won’t feel sad if they don’t come).