One of my guests invited her boyfriend who was not on the guest list

If she is over 18 then her boyfriend should have been included (married or not), as they are a social unit. BUT that is neither here nor there, since you've already done the invites etc. I suppose you'd have to just tell her something like "Hey, I wanted to reach out to you to let you know that we are so sorry, but we will not be able to accommodate your boyfriend at our wedding. Wish we could, but we are already at capacity & max budget. Again, so sorry, and hope to still see you there." She MIGHT decline to come after that, but you never know...she might still come. Doesn't sound like you really care if she does either way. Hope it all works out for you, good luck! 26 days...so exciting!!

^Everything Danielle said!

Also I’d recommend calling ASAP. You don’t want them making plans for him to attend if you wait too long.

I agree with both of these ladies, I would call and say no. I think if you explain that it’s a very small and intimate wedding they will be more understanding. I had an RSVP come back that was addressed to a Mr and Mrs and it came back saying 4 were attending 😤 I was so irritated. So I 100% understand the frustration when you get one back that like that! But I eventually let it go because the other 2 (17/18 year old boys) probably should’ve been invited anyways. But seriously?! 🤦🏼‍♀️

A boyfriend or significant other are not a plus one and should have been invited by name. You are in the wrong here, not the cousin.

Call them and say
Hello Aunt, we noticed there was an additional meal listed on your RSVP. Unfortunately due to to budget and space limits we cannot add anymore people. If you need to time to think about your RSVP or change it, please let me know by date.

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I agree. If you didn't have enough space in the budget to invite her boyfriend and you really don't care if she's there, then you shouldn't have invited her to begin with. I had to cut 2nd cousins because I couldn't afford for all their kids to be there and I wasn't going to be rude and not let them bring their kids because our wedding is not kid free.

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I disagree. You didn't have to invite the boyfriend (which is why you didn't). He wasn't on the invite and a "plus one" wasn't on the invite either. They shouldn't have added him. When my fiancée and I first started dating he went to a few family weddings (distant cousins mainly) who had never met me and probably never heard of me yet at that point. I wasn't invited to the weddings and there was no offense taken at all. Call the family and explain. Good luck!

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I disagree. Putting an extra person the invite is super rude, that person is not family and should have to be automatically invited. Especially if they have never met before, can invite or not invite anyone she wants. I would speak to this person and tell her that they were give 5 seats and that no one else was given a plus one to keep the wedding intimate.

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The bride and groom decide the guest list. This is a new boyfriend that the bride and groom have never met. A boyfriend of 1 month is very different than a boyfriend of 1 year or more. They were not even together when we finalized our guest list. Thanks for your negative input though.

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Sure, it's rude to add someone to the rsvp but that only happened because OP did not invite the SOs of her guests to begin with. Not recognizing someone's relationship when you're asking someone to celebrate yours is just wrong.

Agree with Allie above, if OP couldn't afford to accommodate SOs she should have cut her guest list.

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Understandable maybe she can weigh in on this part but if she hasn't seen or spoken to his cousin how is she to know that they even have a SO. No one is entitled to be there.

I agree with everything, positive and negative, that's already been said. The only thing I'd add is that since the problematic guests are members of FH's family, I'd have him (or his mom/dad) make the call to let them know the boyfriend is not invited and their "request" cannot be accommodated.

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As I thought you're right for what you did. I would just make it clear to them that the number is not up for discussion. Some people don't realize that not everyone has the money to invite extra people, or you may not want to have those people there for an intimate occasion.

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Thank you! We invited the cousin because her parents and brothers were invited. Not inviting her as some people have suggested would not have been an option. My cousin got married when my FH and I had already been together for 2 years and he wasn't invited. While it was annoying, I did not say anything to my cousin or invite him myself. I simply respected the fact that it was her wedding and no decision is easy to make when it comes to wedding planning. We did choose to keep this very intimate and it was actually a last minute decision to invite her family. Again, at the time she was not dating this boyfriend and she did not get her own invitation. We are at max capacity so allowing him to come really isn't an option at this point as some people are mentioning. Thanks for your help!

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I like that way of explaining it. I was just looking for the right words to be said as to not ruffle any feather or cause issues with the family. I will have my FH reach out to her and explain. Thank you

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This! I disagree with a lot of these comments. a boyfriend of one month is in fact a plus one. You did not invite plus ones. its rude they added a guest and should have brought it up to you. My FH's uncle was married we addressed the invitation to him and his wife. all of a sudden he up and left her and moved to Arizona and filed for divorce. AFTER OUR invites went out. Then just RSVP'd the other day and filled her name in instead of the wife who was originally invited. I was not happy and I know it will cause tension. You don't have to invite the boyfriend.

Agree with what PP said, a kind phone call or text saying “I apologize for any confusion if the invite wasn’t clear, but we unfortunately can not accommodate the BF, as we are at our venues capacity.” Idk why people think it’s okay to add extra guests, our invites and RSVP cards were very clear too but we’ve still gotten a lot of questions from fully grown adults with high school/college degrees who cannot count 🙄 in this situation you don’t even know the bf, and just because they’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to invite them. The last family wedding I went to was a few years ago, but FH and I weren’t engaged or living together and most of my fam hadn’t even met him yet so I wasn’t surprised to not get a plus one. Weddings are expensive and feeding people is expensive so the way I see it being invited to someone’s wedding is a privilege, not something that should be expected.

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I think that's a great plan - ask your FH to call them and explain that you unfortunately can't accommodate additional guests and that there isn't space for the boyfriend. His cousin doesn't need to bring her boyfriend of one month, and they shouldn't have added him to the RSVP. I think some people don't quite realize that weddings are formal events that require a lot of planning and you can't just bring whoever you want - it's not a backyard BBQ (or at least not always haha).

Regardless of whether or not anyone on here thinks the chick should have been given a plus one..It's extremely rude to just add another person onto a response card without asking.

People aren't entitled to plus ones just because they are dating someone. They're just not. It's your wedding and you get to decide who you want there to spend that day with you and who you don't. She didn't even really want to invite the cousin so she's obviously not going to also give her a plus one.

I would tell them there were five seats reserved for their family and five only due to vendor restrictions. You unfortunately can't accommodate any additional guests.

I find it weird how many people are missing the fact that OP said that no one was given plus ones so why should this guy of 1 month be an exception? Esp if him and the cousin didn't fit the "you're not married or living together, therefore cousin doesn't get a plus one". This cousin is just being inconsiderate