One of my guests invited her boyfriend who was not on the guest list

Thanks for the input and advice everybody! My FH reached out to his cousi and explained the seating capacity as suggested. She was perfectly ok with the situation.

I would just say "I am sorry the invitation was meant for the family only. We have restricted room and can only accommodate who we invited by name. Please let us know if this changes things. We are excited to spend the day with you!"

Seems I disagree with most here. You are absolutely not wrong. I did the same, live in bf or spouse was invited and no others. It’s your wedding and your choice. Aside from that I agree with others, simply have your FMIL or FH call since it’s tjeir family and let them know it was just for family listed on invite and so sorry but you cannot accommodate the bf. I did inner and outter envelopes as well, very frustrating when people just do as they want.

View Quoted Comment Totally agree with you Anna. We are only inviting boyfriends/girlfriends if the couple lives together, which I think is totally acceptable. Not sure how it’s rude to not invite a boyfriend/girlfriend especially if you don’t know them at all and the couple hasn’t been together for a while/doesn’t live together.

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That's great! Glad it worked out.

That is so rude! What the heck! Tell that boy to bring his own chair and a sandwich!
Okay, that might not be the most polite way...
Just call and explain that the venue won't allow over a certain number of people, and unfortunately you won't be able to accommodate the BF. Maybe throwing in a "I thought I made it clear when I listed out the people who were invited on the invitation but I guess that was pretty vague..." for good measure.

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I'm happy everything got sorted out! That was really rude to add another person to the RSVP, in my opinion

I like how these people just dictate that he should be invited, no he shouldn't be invited he's not a boyfriend of substance and her wedding is intimate noone is obligated to be invited. You invite who you want.

View Quoted Comment Glad it worked out. The cousin was wrong in this situation. A 1 month boyfriend is an optional plus one, and the cousin was invited as part of a (nuclear) family unit.

Ugh!! I find it super rude when people add someone to the rsvp. Im super nervous about this when we send out ours.
Id say just call them and tell them that you are at capicity and are keeping the wedding intimate and small. Its the truth. Stick to your guns.
I dont think you were in the wrong at all! We have situations like this, and some distant families who boyfriends/girlfriends who are married or live together arent getting invited. We had to draw the line somewhere

To the people that are saying that you’re wrong —- they’re crazy! If you didn’t want to invite him (which you didn’t) then they should not have done it either. I don’t give a damn if they date each other, if they’re co parenting, known each other for a long time. If you wanted her to have a a plus one or invited him, then you would have. Don’t feel bad at all and don’t let anyone on here allow you to do so. Just tell her , him, them, sorry but he can’t come. Nothing personal, it’s just your day. You can go into detail if you want, but you don’t have to explain anything to anyone. I bet you they aren’t paying for it, so oh well. It doesn’t matter if they’re “over 18” (which sounds crazy) it’s not a damn club! If you don’t want him there then it is what it is. If the cousin doesn’t want to come because her man can’t , then deuces! See ya at the cookout cousin!

If she's over 18, she should have gotten her own invite with her BF's name on it as well. Yes it was rude of her to just add him, but it was equally rude of you to not invite him. Accommodate him if you have the space.

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So you're saying the groom should not have invited his cousin because he did not want to pay for this random new person? I'm sorry but that is insane. People are acting like attending a wedding is some sort of favor to the bride and groom- what???? If you were invited to come celebrate their union and want to go -go, and if you don't then just don't attend. At a wedding, as a guest you are fed, accommodated, and given a great time, why are people acting like this is some sacrifice to attend? If you can't you can't and keep it pushing.

So glad you resolved it! We’re sticking to the same rule. Our venue can only accommodate 65 guests and we just don’t have the space for plus ones.

View Quoted Comment Glad she was ok with the situation!!

I would just say I'm sorry if there was a misunderstanding with the invitation but we are having a very small affair and there are no plus ones for anyone. I'm sorry but you can not bring him. They need to understand its your wedding and they cant just do whatever they want.

Is the boyfriend living with FH's cousin or have they been together for many years? Then yes, he should have been been invited because he would be considered part of the family. However, if the answer is no, then you are under no obligation to invite him. You, your fiance and your FMIL can explain to the aunt that you have already said no to inviting significant others on your side of the family and that you have already reached max capacity and budget on guests as well as completed the seating arrangements. You will not be able to accommodate the boyfriend. Hopefully they will understand and still come. If they decline, then that's less money you'll have to spend on them.

Oh hell no. No brand new boyfriend should get an invite to your intimate wedding. I’ve had haircuts last longer than their relationship. If you had a gigantic wedding and could afford it I’d maybe let it slide but you’ve had to say no to everyone, why does a cousin you barely know get special treatment? You’re not even close.

Leave out their relationship when you call, stick to the facts. It’s an intimate wedding with not enough seating and not enough food to accomodate. You said it yourself it won’t hurt your feelings if she won’t come. They’re completely in the wrong for expecting special treatment. You don’t add on names to an RSVP, period. If they were a unit you would’ve addressed the invite to them both,

I'm so sorry that something so trivial is making this stressful for you. After reading though the comments, I agree, the boyfriend is NOT entitled to an invite, and if you're not extending plus ones, then that's a no brainer. Simply following with being at the venues capacity, or you don't have the additional budget to feed more than you planned for is definitely rational. We're getting ready to send out save the dates, and as excited as I am to finally get the information pertaining to our wedding to the family and friends on our guest list, I KNOW something like this is going to happen when we get to the invites in a couple months, and I'm dreading having a conversation like this with whomever decides that our guest list is at the mercy of their social desires. You have all the control over who you want at your wedding and you don't have to compromise your set list for a cousin that you're not even associated with.

I have to respectfully disagree with a lot of the previous comments also. You are not in the wrong inviting a family and not including newish boyfriends. I’m still trying to figure out why they thought it was okay to add an extra persons name on there. I am inviting plus ones for the few single cousins I have but you are not REQUIRED to invite anyone to your wedding. I do agree to have your FH handle this since it’s his side