Opinions ladies?? My husband's friend is trying to copy my ENTIRE wedding!!

Meh. It is rude to dig into someone's finances. A diplomatic response may be "Packages vary, so what I paid may not be what you will" and "The vendors are the best people to answer your questions." If she keeps pushing, tell her you'd prefer not to disclose details about how/what you paid for your wedding. She probably doesn't realize she's being a bit invasive. As far as copying, take it as a compliment and move on?

Constance has great advice, so I echo what she has said. Also mention that package pricing is usually updated each year and she will have to find out their current rates since it will likely be different than when you booked. I had a friend get engaged and was asking me all sorts of questions, she booked a couple of our vendors and was asking about prices of certain vendors and services. I didn't mind sharing information because I didn't have anyone to ask about that stuff or get recommendations from but I always made sure to include that prices change yearly and we got off-season pricing for many of our vendors. But if you don't feel comfortable sharing that information, just let her know you would prefer to keep that between you and DH and pass on the contact info of the vendors or direct her to the WW vendor search.

I would definitely be flattered that you pulled off such an amazing wedding that someone wants to emulate it in their own day. That's essentially how we got ideas for our weddings, too--looking at other people's weddings on Pinterest and photos/blog posts on wedding websites. Don't worry, it won't be the same as yours exactly and it's possible not all of your vendors will be available for her wedding, she also may not have the same budget as you and that will alter things from being identical as well.

About the copying, Definitely you should feel flattered. I wouldn't worry unless she literally starts copying your dress and decor. About the money, definitely irritating. Put a stop to that by saying you while you're happy to share vendors you dont feel comfortable sharing cost information. End of conversation. If she persists after that feel fee to tell her more bluntly that it's none of her business

I'd make a list of all your vendor supplier details that you haven't already supplied to her yet, with a couple things you considered, but maybe passed on. As for the prices tell her you're giving the contact information so she can get that information on her own,that you wouldn't want to give her incorrect information because situations change. Encourage her to ask them what the best time to get the best deals are. Maybe even give her a wedding plan book as a gift so she knows what to expect.

There are men here too! I'd let it go. You had your day already.

Honestly, I would find it rude if someone asked me all that as well. So feeling annoyed is completely reasonable. But often, I'm on the other side of the conversation and really only ask out of curiosity and for insight. I have to say it is a bit strange she's doing a lot of things just like you did but like others have said I'd take it as a compliment. Chances are she'll already be able to guess how much you spent. It's not difficult to look up pricing info especially since she attended and knew exactly what went on. Not to mention she's already booked a bunch of things? Soon enough she'd have a good estimate. You don't have to share of course though.

Just remember that she can replicate ALMOST everything. She can't replicate your experiences and all the love and emotions YOU felt. That is personal and unique. Just like you.

She may be trying to make sure she got a good deal in her quote. I would tell her I am no comfortable telling her the exact cost but if she tells me the price she was quoted I will tell her if it's close to what I paid.

@MrsRushin even if she's trying to make sure she got a good deal it is rude. It's like asking your coworker how much they earn, so you can make sure you're earning enough. And if she didn't get a good deal, what then, it sounds like she already signed contracts, so all it does is create bad feelings.

Umm seriously?...I would feel flattered someone enjoyed my wedding enough to want to "copy" it, that's actually very flattering. What is it with brides on here lately complaining about people "copying" their wedding, or the season/close dates, and stuff. Get over yourselves.

As far as her asking the cost-- just tell her you're not comfortable discussing and let her know the vendors will cater their prices to what she is looking to include/cut out. Not a big deal

Be flattered they loved it so much that they're copying you?

But maybe direct them to the vendors directly and don't give any financial information

I'd be flattered if someone getting married after me wanted to imitate some of the things we decided. For example, one of my BMs is getting married next September. she booked the same photographer, hair stylist and has similar colors. Im constantly sending her referrals for people I've worked with so far that have been amazing.

I don't know why it matters. You had your day. It was obviously awesome. Let her have hers.

I wouldn't have a problem giving general price points. I even forwarded quotes I had gotten from vendors I'm using and vendors I ended up not using.

IMO, it's not a big deal at all.

Dupe

Love seeing other Tamaras!!

I absolutely hate when my friends copy me... so I totally feel your pain.

ETA- I wouldn't care if she wants to hire the same vendors, and honestly, I would not stop anyone from booking the same venue... who am I to do that? but deep down it would really annoy me, haha! also, i m open about what i m spending on my wedding. ( only with close friends, though, because they genuinely would like to know) BUT if you aren't close to her and she's asking you all sorts of financial questions, i would kindly tell her that i would rather not disclose that information.

You should definitely feel flattered but if she starts picking your colors, décor and dress then get a little worried. But when I first got engaged my Officer in Charge just got married last year so she was still carrying around her notebook and she was so excited to tell me about her vendors.. She has been stationed in this state way longer than me so it really helped me out a ton.

I mean, your day is over. Get over it. Now it's her turn. Saying someone is "copying" you just sounds super juvenile.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

ETA: as far as finances, yeah, that's inappropriate. just say everyone's budget is different and she shouldn't be concerned with yours (to put it bluntly).

I don't mind if people ask what I'm paying, and I also don't mind if my actual friends ask if the purpose is informative for their own planning. I DO mind if some random lady is copying my entire wedding though. Like, come up with your own ideas...

Not cool that she is asking about finances but for the rest of it, get over it. They aren't "your" vendors. You don't own them. Let. It. Go.

Thanks for all the great advice everyone!! It's really helpful to get opinions from different perspectives!

I'd be flattered.

She's not asking you your price to be nosy - she's asking bc she wants to book them too and see if she's getting a good price.

If you don't want to tell her, say you don't remember. But it's definitely flattering

Uo but I wouldn't mind sharing the price because there is a purpose. Now, when I had people being nosy I avoided the question.

I think she just wants personal experiences on things and figures you're the best person to ask since you just went through it all. I know the reason why I'm here and in my other wedding groups is because I wanted to hear what other brides paid, did, hired, etc to get a feel for what I should expect.

It's definitely weirder to get the financials involved since you guys know each other and share mutual friends, unlike the people you typically engage with on Facebook groups or WW. I think the first poster's advice about how to handle that is perfect though. Just say you would rather not discuss what you paid and that costs differ for everyone. Just be honest.

If she starts copying your decor/theme/etc, I'd just take it as flattery. Your wedding has already happened and people will remember it for a long time to come - I'm sure they'll recognize any similarities when attending her wedding and that is something she should be prepared for ("hey this reminds me of Tamara's wedding!")

I literally have a list of people on my reminders app of people who have contacted me in regards to wanting to purchase my "entire wedding" when mine is over and I think it's very flattering!