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Mary
Dedicated September 2023

Opinions needed: Which would you prefer as a guest?

Mary, on October 21, 2020 at 1:03 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 42

Our top venue that we’re in love with is a hotel, and we'll be having about 120 people invited. All of the family and friends we're inviting are people we are closer with (so-- no one feels like we're reluctantly inviting them, and we know everyone well. It took a little bit to convince my dad that...

Our top venue that we’re in love with is a hotel, and we'll be having about 120 people invited. All of the family and friends we're inviting are people we are closer with (so-- no one feels like we're reluctantly inviting them, and we know everyone well. It took a little bit to convince my dad that we couldn't afford to invite every member of his very large Italian family, so cutting it down to 30 family members so that I can have 30 friends on my side was no easy task! 😅)

The place is also within 30-40 minutes of the majority of our guests. Because of this, I'm assuming most of our guests will NOT be staying overnight, with the exception of our out of town guests, which includes us.

In my experience, unless someone is IN the wedding or is super duper close with the couple, they don’t seem to take off work on a Monday after a Sunday wedding. My concern is people would be leaving 9-10pm for a wedding on a Sunday, and I’d really want the evening to feel loose and go until about 11.


Would you prefer a Friday wedding starting at 6:30 or so to give everyone time to get there from work, and going until 11:30-12? Cons: you’d probably have to leave work early. BUT you don’t have to worry about waking up the next day and can let loose all night.

Or, would you rather a wedding be on a Sunday going until 11? Cons: you have work to worry about getting up for work the next day, or you have to use a vacation day / take off Monday. BUT you don’t have to worry about leaving work early or taking off Friday.

Does this mean you’d probably leave earlier? Also in your experience, have you noticed guests taking off work the next day after a Sunday wedding? Or have you noticed anybody annoyed by either a Friday or Sunday wedding? Have you ever experienced anyone showing up late to a Friday ceremony? (This is one my parents are insisting on happening.) What day did you wind up choosing?

Thank you in advance for your help!!!

42 Comments

  • Mary
    Dedicated September 2023
    Mary ·
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    Absolutely. I've only ever attended Friday or Sunday weddings, so this definitely seems like the general consensus, and so true about the people who make it work regardless. Thank you for your input Kelly!! Smiley smile

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  • Mary
    Dedicated September 2023
    Mary ·
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    I went to a Friday wedding with exactly this situation too. Thank you so much for your personal insight and advice!! Best of luck to you Smiley smile

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  • Maggie
    Dedicated July 2022
    Maggie ·
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    Friday wedding for sure. No one wants the Sunday scaries to set in while celebrating a wedding!
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  • Mary
    Dedicated September 2023
    Mary ·
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    "Sunday scaries" 😂 Yes, absolutely. Thank you so much for your input!!

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    Unless no one is commuting, all home before their 30-40 min trip for the wedding most will be late for any wedding that starts before 7:30. Or at least anybody I know. several weddings people have sat and waited for a large percentage arriving 6:30-7:15. And another large group will RSVP saying, cannot make it at 6, 7, whatever, so I will go directly to the reception at 7-8 pm. A lot of people cannot leave work early, especially on Friday. A lot of people just get home from work at 6, or later. And to have a 7:30 wedding, must be parked and getting seated starting 7 pm, or they will skip it. But if you start later, people are likely to stay 5-6 hours. Saturdays, most weddings starting in the afternoon, whatever time, are over 5-6 hours later, inc ceremony and reception. And will only stay til midnight if it starts 6pm or later. On Sunday, people working in am are gone by 10, whether there for 3 hours or 6.
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  • A
    Super September 2020
    Alli ·
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    We prefer Friday weddings... every Sunday wedding we have attended, we leave immediately after the meal. We both have careers that require us to have our outfits together and sleep the night before; we would never drink on at a Sunday wedding. Just our experiences!
    🤍
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  • Alma
    Expert October 2020
    Alma ·
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    I just had a Friday wedding last weekend :] I heard ZERO complaints or pushback from anyone. There were a few people who arrived after the ceremony due to work; but most people took the day off and started their weekend early Smiley smile
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  • A
    Expert September 2022
    Allie ·
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    First of all, it's super considerate of you to take your guests' opinions and preferences into consideration! My vote would be Friday! I would just add that I have been in a Saturday wedding where people had all day to get ready...and they were STILL late. Sooo frustrating. I would just have a plan (maybe if the venue has security, or if the day of coordinator has an assistant?) to make sure that no knucklehead walks into the venue when the bride is about to enter for the ceremony!!! Good luck!!

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  • M
    Super October 2022
    Michele ·
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    Honestly I would rather skip the entire work day on a Friday to celebrate a wedding. With a save the date, plus invite, you are giving enough advance notice to schedule time off. Sunday weddings tend to end very early..before 7pm.
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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    I might be in the minority here, but as a guest, when Saturday weddings are not an option, I will ALWAYS prefer Sunday weddings to Fridays hands down. I've been to dozens of black tie Sunday evening weddings out of town that ended at 11 pm, got an early flight the next morning, and arrived to work mid-day on Monday. So did everyone else who wanted to be there. I've been to around 20 Sunday weddings but I've never been to a Friday wedding. My husband and I were invited to one local Friday wedding last year but we declined because it started at 5 pm and he couldn't leave work early and we would have felt weird showing up for just the reception. Full disclosure, my entire extended family is Jewish and Friday weddings are a no-no, which is partially why I haven't been to any. As long as guests are given plenty of advanced warning, I think a Sunday wedding would be just fine! Guests will have to take off either way (leave work early for a Friday wedding or show up to work late on Monday for a Sunday wedding). Furthermore, once you factor in a rehearsal dinner, it's much more convenient to have a Sunday wedding if any of your bridal party is travelling from out of town because the rehearsal dinner can take place on Saturday night instead of Thursday night. And if you're planning to invite any out-of-towners to the rehearsal dinner, then they can simply make a weekend of it instead of having to show up on a Thursday and take even more time off of work. You know your crowd best, but my preference would 100% be a Sunday wedding.

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  • Mary
    Dedicated September 2023
    Mary ·
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    People having to rush over after work is definitely a concern I have for Friday, for sure. And I think I definitely have to adjust my wants for a late evening wedding if we do a Sunday because the party is only as late as our people make it. Thank you for your insight Judith, and best of luck!!

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  • Mary
    Dedicated September 2023
    Mary ·
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    That definitely makes sense. I think if we do a Sunday wedding I have to adjust what I want (and make the start time earlier) if I want people to stay for as long as it goes, for sure. Thank you for your input Alli!!

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  • Mary
    Dedicated September 2023
    Mary ·
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    Oh, that's awesome CONGRATULATIONS!! It looks like you actually got married on my fiancé's birthday! It's a good date Smiley smile Thank you so much for your input Alma, and congrats again!!!

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  • Mary
    Dedicated September 2023
    Mary ·
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    Thank you Allie!! I just want to make sure that what I want the day to be like works with at least the majority of the people who are attending and making the day happen! This is really good to know about your experience though, I will definitely make sure there's a plan regardless of the day. Thank you so much Allie, best of luck to you!!! Smiley heart

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  • Mary
    Dedicated September 2023
    Mary ·
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    Yeah, we plan out sending Save The Dates a year in advance so everyone will have that time. And I think if we do a Sunday I just have to adjust my want for a later evening party to account for the actual people attending, and make the start time earlier. Thank you for your insight Smiley heart

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  • Mary
    Dedicated September 2023
    Mary ·
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    This is such good insight to consider!! My fiancé and I live across the country from our home state, which is where we are getting married. Between my maid of honor (also across the country) and us, having the rehearsal dinner during an inconvenient time is NOT something I was even thinking about, so I really appreciate this. Thank you for taking the time in giving your input Hanna!! All the best Smiley heart

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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2020
    Samantha ·
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    Going against the grain, but I’d prefer the Sunday. I wouldn’t take time off work for a wedding unless I was VERY close to the couple so I’d rather go Sunday and leave the reception early than go Friday and be cutting it close getting to the ceremony.
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  • Mary
    Dedicated September 2023
    Mary ·
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    I really want to inconvenience people as little as possible, so this is exactly something I'm thinking about. Thank you for your input Samantha!!

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  • Alyssa
    Dedicated July 2021
    Alyssa ·
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    Friday wedding, for sure! Your guests will have two days to rest after 😉


    My family friend had hers on a Sunday years ago and over half the guests left by 7:30 pm and didn’t feel like staying out late or dancing, or anything!
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  • T
    Expert May 2010
    Theresa ·
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    If I worked M-F 9-5, or similar, I would prefer a Friday wedding. Sunday just has that "winding down" feeling, getting ready for the next work week, and not a let's party! kind of feel.

    But, I don't work that schedule. I work every other weekend, and they rotate between day and night shift. I of course wouldn't expect anyone to plan anything around my rotating 2-2-3 schedule, but you might want to keep in mind that not everyone works a standard workweek. And frankly, even with my schedule, I'd still prefer Friday. If it's my off weekend, then I'd want to party Friday instead of Sunday!

    Congrats, and hope you all have a fun day!

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