Opinions on parents paying for wedding?

I just went in thinking I’m paying for it all too

My mom will put into close to 2k. I've paid for the rest about 3k.

Your dad is being a cheap skate. You f it’s not your first wedding, I can see that response but if it is... I’m sorry. He’s being “that” guy.

My family doesn’t have it like that too pay for anything. My mom is decorating the space though so I appreciate her contribution. FH and I️ just got off from vacation and will be working our asses off to save money. FH goes back to work tomorrow and I️ go back Monday. Think I’m gonna get a second job. I️ want My dream wedding and I’m gonna work my ass off to get it. Even if no one can help. I’m not expecting anyone to either.

Sorry, he's right. If a parent offers, that's one thing, but you really shouldn't just ask.

I think it just depends on the situation.
My parents are helping me out with paying for mine. But I’m also a fairly young bride (20 years old) paying my way through college right now. I think they know that I don’t really have a lot of money in my budget for a wedding! I’m also their oldest daughter, and they are pretty traditional. So I guess it just depends on different factors!

I think it really depends on your circumstances.
In my situation, a majority of guests are family friends that our families want us to invite, so we very much walked into wedding planning knowing full well that the parents would be contributing to an extent.

If your dad wants a lot of his friends invited, I think it’s reasonable that he contributes. If not, that’s a different story.

My fiance comes from a very traditional family and I do not. We went into this thinking we would have to pay it all and both of our parents have contributed. His ( the traditional groom expenses- open bar and rehearsal dinner) mine only planned to pay for my dress/veil and cake. The rest in on us. I understand a lot of parents just don't want their children starting out married life "broke" or want their children to be able to purchase a first home. But I also see both sides. We never asked.

I know back in the traditional day that was the norm i guess. When my hubby and I got engaged, we had no money and my parents couldn’t help. But now 3 years later , my dad is financially able to lay more and we’re in a more stable place in our lives. If family members help, that’s great! But I don’t think anything should be expected of anyone , that just leaves you with let downs.

My father contributed most of the cost, but DH and I also contributed and did all the heavy lifting on planning. This, however, is due to the relationship I have with my dad, as well as DH and I working in the service and arts sectors. My ILs hosted the rehearsal dinner at their place, which was a huge help (and they are good cooks, so bonus).

This is all fairly unusual, nowadays, but it's really a matter of individual family dynamics.

We were very fortunate to have mine and his parents help pay for things. In my fiancé’s family it is tradition that the parents pay for the wedding of their sons. My family offered to help his family split the costs. So far I’ve only spent $2,000 of my own money. In my case, my wedding was paid for because of traditions. Your dad seems to not have that American tradition of the brides father paying for the wedding or at least helping. It’s tough for me to say but he isn’t obligated to help. If he did that would be wonderful but the responsibility is on you and your future husband

I think it’s a cultural thing as well. My parents aren’t helping pay, they got some help from their parents but not much, so they won’t be helping for me. My fiancé on the other hand comes from a rich culture where it’s something his parents have been saving for since he was born.

My parents are paying for our wedding, and FH’s parents are paying for our rehearsal dinner and the condo we’re staying in for our honeymoon. My parents always said they’d pay for the wedding, but that’s not necessarily the norm nowadays. I know a lot of people that pay for their wedding on their own.

We fully expected to pay 100% ourselves and wanted to have a destination wedding. My FFIL said he couldn’t afford to go to a destination wedding but if we had a traditional wedding he would pay for the catering. We discussed with him that this could be over 5k for food vs a few thousand dollars all inclusive to go to a destination. Well fast forward a few months and after all the pushback from his very large and traditional family we decided to have a local wedding. FH reached out to his father to see what he was willing to contribute as we didn’t expect him to pay all the catering for 150-175 people. He was very vague and has continued to be caught for the last 6-9 months. We have all of the money saved for the catering in the event he flakes out. Even yesterday he said oh I’ll still help you guys with what I can but I’m planning a Disney world trip for my 60th bday (it’s 4months after our wedding) I’m not sure what that means. It’s very frustrating but I’d rather do it ourselves then have anyone be able to through it in our faces.

View Quoted Comment I asked because he offered originally and then pretty much took it back and said that parents don’t help pay for weddings anymore. I wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t offer to begin with. I went into this fully expecting to pay for it myself but the situation isn’t the best. He sat there and bragged to my face about his second wedding costing 40k after he offered to help us with our and then revoked it. I don’t want to come off as ungrateful because that’s not it at all.

My mom, dad, grandparents, and I are all chipping in. This event isn't just about my FH and I, it's about our entire families. While their assistance wasn't required, I'd be lying if I said I didn't expect them to make the offer based on their means and how they've helped my older siblings with college, home purchases, and weddings. I openly discussed my budget, expectations, and what I could afford with all of them and we are planning the event together and sharing in the excitement. I would have been disappointed with the event I could have afforded on my own.

I think it varies a lot nowadays. We were preparing to pay for it ourselves, but then my parents stepped in and offered to pay for it as long as we keep costs "reasonable". His parents have both passed away and he's not super close with any of his other family.

Both of our parents are helping us with the wedding. We both come from more traditional families. We are still paying for things as well, but our parents are helping a lot. We never asked or expected them to... they offered right away. We are very thankful & grateful.

Your Dad is just being rude

My mom is paying for most of our wedding. She put away some inheritance from when her parents had passed away, and told each of us kids that she would use that money for our weddings. My dad has offered to pay for some of the expenses as well, but I know he does not have a lot of extra to give. My Fiancé's parents are not helping us pay for anything, but I was expecting that because this is his second wedding. They helped pay for a lot of his first wedding. If my mom had not told us in advance that she had some money set aside, I would have asked all of the parents if they were willing/able to help, but I would not have expected help from any of them. I set my budget for what my Fiancé and I could afford, and that way I do not feel bad asking my mom to use her inheritance (even thought this is what that money was set aside for) because I know I would be able to pay the expense if she could not.