Opinions on parents paying for wedding?

Once we started planning the wedding, my FH parents let us know that they were giving us a certain amount of money for the wedding, but that the cost of the rehearsal dinner was to come from the amount as well.

I had a conversation with my mom and my dad & step-mom to ask if they were planning on contributing, explaining that it wasn't expected, but if they were we want to know as we prepared our budget. My dad gave us a specific number to work with, and my mom was more vague in saying that she would help out but didn't want to just 'cut a check' (she paid for my dress and shoes, and will likely help out more as we get closer to the final day and little things start to come up).

I think that it's less common for parents to fully pay for their daughter's wedding, but it's not abnormal for them to help out. I think having a straight-forward discussion explaining that you don't expect anything, but need to know in advance so you can appropriately budget is fine.

My parents are still legally married but pretty much not really married anymore,more like roommates ( not that this has that much to do with the story)


But my dad is offering both my brother and I each 5,000 to use towards our weddings or to buy houses. My brother is using his for a house. I plan on using some for my wedding but hoping to save the rest.
My mom said she would over my reception dinner ( when I thought I was having a small beach wedding) so I think she is giving me about 5,000 maybe less. ( She helped me pay for college so I am very thankful!)

I didnt expect my parents to pay for all and I kinda agree they shouldn't pay for all, but what they feel comfortable and can afford would be nice.

We are also getting married this August. Both of our parents offered to pay for our wedding. So we originally didn't want more than $3K from each, $6K total, to have a very small yet romantic wedding. However, because we kept costs so low, my grandpa offered to pay for our entire wedding and his mom said she would pay for our entire honeymoon. His dad also just mentioned that he would like to pitch in for our honeymoon as well. I don't like that they're paying for our wedding because it makes us feel really bad, but it makes them very happy to help us. I don't think it matters what the "norm" is, everyone's "normal" is different. It's awesome if you can afford to pay for your wedding by yourself, and great if your family is generous enough to help.

My grandparents and mom are paying for a huge chunk of ours. I paid the $1000 deposit and they’re covering the rest. I was also brought up in a very traditional southern family though, so it’s still the norm around here for parents to foot the bill for weddings.

My husband and I went into the wedding process knowing full well we would be covering all of the cost. Through the process, our parents offered to pay for things here and there as gifts to us. There was never any expectation and we are greatly for any contribution they made.

We went into our engagement planning to pay for our wedding 100% on our own. My parents offered to cover the rehearsal dinner but that was just a wonderful surprise and not something we would have expected them to do. I think as times change, more and more couples are paying for their own weddings (at least partly).

Personally I think its becoming the norm to pay for your own wedding. However my parents are paying for ours. I just graduated and will be starting my masters so I'm in a ton on debt and they are financially able to carry the bill. If they weren't financially able to I wouldnt hold that against them... and I am planning to chip in once I can afford to.

When going in engaged, my fiance and I thought we were just going to pay all of it on our own. My dad has helped me out here and there with paying for certain things and my mom is going to paying for my wedding dress, but otherwise we expect to pay for everything on our own. We don't really want to ask them if they could help, but if they are offering to help we will take it.

My parents helped with my wedding dress but I paid half. My parents have offered to help but I don’t want to be a burden on them. Asking for help is not my thing so I just work hard & try to stick to my budget. I wanted the things I want for the wedding so I should be the one to pay for them. However, if your parents have the money to help out I don’t see that being a problem. I think if he offered before perhaps you can talk with him and see what it was he would want to help with.

We didn't want help. It was our wedding and our responsibility. I don't believe in the tradition that parents should pay for something their adult children decided to do. It's so wrong to me. His dad and step mother sent us some money even though we said no thank you to the offers. My mom bought my dress because she went with me and insisted with tears in her eyes.


If your dad doesn't want to contribute, he doesn't have to.

We are paying for everything for our wedding. When my sister got married my parents helped but it wasnt even a thought for me to ask, we both working adults but really its a family discussion.

We were planning to pay for everything. We did not want to burden our parents for money. My dad and step mom ended up offering to help with some so we really appreciate that.

I think it just depends on IF and HOW they can help they aren’t obligated to, most people pay for their own now a days but if help is offered it’s great. FH and I didn’t plan on anyone helping out but my parents and his parents both wanted to contribute so we let them obviously lol

My FH and I have gone into this planning to pay 100% for everything. My parents have generously offered to pay for my dress, the reception meal and open bar, and the officiant. FH’s parents have not offered to contribute anything. Which is fine. We will just continue to plan for the wedding we can afford, and if they wish to contribute it will be a great bonus

Both of our parents are going to pay for our wedding, I think tradition and culture have to do with it (at least on my specific case) because we do come from a Latin background and we're also marrying at a younger age (at least for today's standards) it isn't something people here frown upon, so it's more typical here for the parents to chip in. Specifically, each part of the wedding is viewed as different gifts special family members can give, for example, his grandfather wedding gift will be the photographer my mother's gift is the dress, etc. We do want to pay for some stuff on our own but I do find it very lovely that the last thing your parents will give you to start out on your "adult life" is your wedding day (this is the general concept of why this sort of "tradition" still happens over here). So it really isn't viewed in a bad way here, just a gift from your parents to you, and in this year or so it's the soon to be married couple's job to save and raise money for their first home.
Bottom line is, I understand why it upsets you that your parents don't like the idea of paying or helping economically for your wedding :/ try to cut on some of your expenses and maybe change the wedding date a bit so that you can save up some money for your special day.Be grateful for that extra money yoursoon to be mother and father in-law gave you. And If they don't want to pay for anything thats fine but they (your parents)won't have any say on what goes or doesn't go an your special day. Don't let that ruin your plans for your perfect wedding!!💖

Future hubby and I are planning to pay for all of it ourselves. Sure it's not super lavish, but the most important people are there, and it will be on our terms!

My dad told me growing up that I could have a sweet sixteen or a wedding! Here I am going to get married and my dad is paying. I’m trying to keep a low budget though.

We went into assuming we will be Paying for it all. My parents offered to pay for the meal part but I know they don’t have the money so I politely declined. I’m sure they will give us a larger gift of money at the wedding because that’s them.

My fiance and I just graduated college and have only had stable jobs for 6 months or less, so my mom has helped us out as much as she can. My dad has recently been trying to contribute as well. We never asked for anything, but they wanted to and we are grateful for that

I think that response from your dad is a bad one. My dad acted like he couldn’t afford to help either but i was told by my aunt to ask him, which is why i did. I got 5K from extended family and my uncle is my caterer so I’m fortunate to have extended family to help.
I don’t expect my dad to help, i do plan to give him the totals of all my expenses afterword in case he wants to throw in a little, after the fact. I dont want to lose the tradition “parents paying for weddings” i want to pay for my daughters, and plan to someday.
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