Opposite Sleep Schedules

I don't totally understand your question because 9 a, to noon is a nap, not enough sleep for the night. I think you just have to compromise that you have different schedules at this point in your life and make the most of your weekends and time together. Lots of people who are (or are married to) nurses, cops, doctors, construction workers, etc all have to deal with this

I don't personally have this problem, but my parents did! My dad worked at a hospital during graveyard shift, and my mom worked a 9-5pm desk job. They honestly didn't see each other much (maybe 1 hour between the time the next one had to go to work), they spent all of their time together on the weekends. It worked for them when my sister and I were little because someone was always there to watch us and we didn't have to go into daycare. It eventually became too much for my dad and he was able to switch to 8-4pm. Is your spouse's work flexible with her schedule? Sorry I don't have more advice to offer :/

I have been doing this for 4 years now. I work days, he works graveyard. You make it work. We may not see each other all the time, but we have the opportunity to miss one another and makes our time together more special. We have opposite sleep scheduled because sleep is important to both of us. No way would I require him to sleep with me. That's not how it works. She needs to let you sleep when you need it.

My FH and i are on completely diff schedules. I work 7p-7a at night and he works 7a-5p. And sometimes he doesnt come home before i leave for work so we can go days without seeing eachother. You just have to deal with it. It was SO HARD at first. I would get so mad bc he would be doing stuff on the weekends while i am sleeping, but you gotta do what you gotta do

FH and I have recently been going through something similar. He's temporarily on 2nd shift which he leaves at 12:30pm and gets home around 11-11:30, depending on the overtime. It's temporary, but it's 2 months down at least 5 months to go.

He doesn't expect me to wake up at 11:30pm, and I don't expect him to wake up when I do at 6am. It totally sucks because it only leaves us the weekends. So we just make it a point to text during the day asking how things are going and communicate about chores and lame shit like that. We try to make some alone time while still maintaining our social obligations...wedding season and baby shower season too apparently

I just recommend being open about it's not an ideal schedule, but the love is still there. And just work to do small little gestures.

H and I are on opposite sleep schedules. We make the most of the days we have together and cherish the moments we spend in passing.

Forehead kisses, notes on the fridge, or a text he sent while I was sleeping. anything to let me know he was thinking of me.

ETA: didn't read the comments

I am glad to see I am not the only one! I work Monday-Thursday 8a-5p and FH works 4p-2am on totally different days, but usually 6 days a week. So when he gets home I am already asleep (but I always wake up when he comes home and then I am awake and can't fall back asleep for like an hour). When I get home from work he is already gone for work. When I leave for work he is sleeping. It does suck, but we make it work. At least it gives us time to miss each other. We get to see each other when he gets a day off on the weekend. But then when he finally gets time off all he wants to do is sit at home and relax, when that is all I ever do and I want to do something fun. We compromise and I will stay in and relax with him, or he will take me out to dinner and we have a date night. I hope one day we can spend more time together, and when we have kids we will have to figure out a schedule that will work too! My parents always comment about how they wish he would get a different job so we could see each other more and blah blah always making me feel bad about it. It irks me because we are doing what we can right now and we are making it work. Or if I go out to dinner with them they always say I wish Daniel could be here with us...or I wish you and Daniel had more time together. Like DUH SO DO I! It is frustrating and hard but I know we can make it work. It's nice that we at least get to sleep WITH each other everynight, even though I go to bed and wake up way earlier than he does. It sucks waking up early while he is all cuddled up sleeping peacefully.

My sister is in a similar position but she just goes with the flow

Now that they have a baby it's easier, she goes to work husband watches baby and reverse

They do sleep together for a few hours only

Honestly it sounds selfish of her you need sleep too obviously

If it's really a problem I think someone needs to change their job

My FH and I are on the opposite sleep schedule train also. He leaves for work around 4:30am and gets home about 3:15pm. I leave for work around 2pm and get home about 11:30pm. I do get two days off a week and it varies on what days. So when I am off work, while he is at work during the day I go and do my errands and clean the house so that when he is home, I'm not keeping myself busy. We spend maybe 12-18 hours together a week. It's not a lot but it definitely makes it worth turning off our phones when we are together.

FH and I have been on opposite schedules for almost 2 years. I'm gone from 6:20am-4pm, he leaves for work anywhere from 5-5:45pm and gets home at 4:30 am. We don't see each other much through the week, our main time together is once I get home Saturday and once he gets up Sunday. It sucks but we make the most of it. We also share a car so once the other leaves the other is stuck at home.

I work various schedules throughout the year but they are day shifts. My husband works 9pm-?. He doesn't have a set end time...he is done when his jobs are done. There have been days he has worked from 9pm until 4pm the next day. It's hard but we make it work. Sometimes we watch TV before he goes to work. I call him when I'm driving to work. When I start late i spend time in the garage with him before work. We make the most of our weekends and I schedule days off randomly to be with him. It is extremely rare that we ever sleep together

FH and I have complete opposite schedules.

He works from 7am-4 30pm

I work from 12am-8am

Our off days are different also

We don't live together and since he's off on the weekends (Saturday and Sunday )

We make Sunday's our day to spend time together.

Soo I totally understand!

My FH works retail and gets home after 11pm and works weekends. I wake up early to train and then work 9-6. We see each other for a few minutes a few days a week sometimes. But this is life. I go to sleep when I need to and just make sure to kiss him goodbye before I leave in the morning. We go out of our way to plan dates...even if it's only once every 2mo and look forward to our vacations together. If you love each other, you will make it work.

We don't have opposite schedules for work, but we have opposing sleep schedules. DH goes to bed at 9 or 9:30, but I don't even get tired until 11 or so. We compromise. I get into bed with him at 9, and we chat for a few or cuddle, but by 9:15, he's ready to sleep. You just have to find your moments and take them when you can. I would never ask DH to mold to my sleep schedule, and he would never ask me to mold to his. Good luck OP

Sometimes opposite schedules happen. I think you both need to find a way to schedule time together that allows for both of your work and sleep schedules, rather than your spouse forcing you onto her schedule. That's just not realistic.

DH and I currently have similar schedules, but he works 2 evenings a week and an occasional weekend day, and when I am in class, my schedule usually means I am gone at least 12 hours a day 3 times a week if not more between commute and school. We make it a priority to spend time together when we are both off, or plan to eat dinner together even if that means I have a snack when I get home and wait until later to eat with him.

My FH and I used to have completely different work and sleep schedules. I worked 4am-12:30 M,T,Thur,Fri, Sat while he worked 7am-3:30 OR 12-9:30 5-6 different days of the week. Honestly we just went about our days and only spent very little time together unless we had a day off together which wasn't very common unless you asked for a specific day off. My parents also only saw each other on the weekends for the past 7 years. My Dad works 1pm-10pm while my Mom worked 6am-5pm. Honestly it's totally doable, I think you should sit down and talk about it. Talk about your feelings and why DH's request about having the same sleep schedule isn't realistic.

FH and I are on opposite schedules, so I feel for you. As a nurse I work 7p-7a and he works 9a-5p. We have breakfast together before he goes to work and I go to sleep. And we live for my days off.

It's rough. But you can do it.

My FH and I are the same way. He works 11pm- 8am, sleeps til 3:30pm then I'm off to work. By the time i get home, hes getting ready to leave again. His only off day is tuesdays so thats the only day we actually sleep in our bed at the same time.We have kids too. It is hard but you make it work. Our off days we make family time and try to plan date nights once every month or 2. We've been doing this for 4 years now. It never gets easier but you learn to manage it and make it work

Fh works 4 pm- 12am with overtime/ getting mandated making some nights 4 pm - 8am. It's a rotating schedule so he only has weekends off every 6 weeks. Unfortunately it sucks. When it first started I didn't sleep at all. The time you do spend together becomes even more special. Every now and again it gets especially rough and trying but I think if not spending enough time together is a problem then we're lucky.

About 4 years ago FH and I were on opposite schedules I worked 10pm-6am he worked 6am-6pm we just made the most of what little time we had especially off days