Ordained Ministers-Nassau County

The problem with getting a straight answer is that Nassau and Suffolk never check credentials or anything at all for that matter when they are processing a license. You could literally go to town hall, get a license, bring it home and fill it out yourselves with names from your favorite book as officiant & witnesses, mail it back... and you would get a Certificate of Marriage from the state saying you were legally married.

What they say when you call and ask if it's legal is to "ask your lawyer".

New York State has a congregational requirement for how they define what a minister is. They use a definition of someone who has a physical group of people, who meet on a set schedule, in a fixed location who view this person as their spiritual leader.

If who ever performs the ceremony you does not meet this criteria, should you ever divorce, the one with the most to lose financially could have a good lawyer declare you never legally married. This would make the distribution of assets the same as if you were just living together, disenfranchising one or the other from what would otherwise be joint assets.

Now I am not saying don't have a friend marry you. But I strongly advise getting the paperwork done by a professional officiant or at town hall. Then do what ever you want for the public ceremony.

Please listen to April. You will not get a straight answer from any clerk.

All of my officiants are registered with the NYC clerks office, and we STILL don't go to LI. Guess who we recommend?

The clerks at Florida courthouses just say, "We don't interpret the law."

According to this NY Times article, a "minister" ordained online is not recognized by Nassau County. I have heard of couples in LI whose marriages were declared non-existent after the fact for this reason. Please oh please don't eff around with this and just hire a professional.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/18/fashion/weddings/making-sure-that-online-officiant-is-legal.html

PS-- another option would be to have some kind of joint ceremony where someone who could legally perform the ceremony could do the required bits (e.g., the statement of intent, ring vows, whatever else is legally required) and your friend could do the mushy extra bits.

Thanks for all your respondes but i called the county and they said ordained ministers can perform marriages in nassau, they dont need to register either

The fly in the honey lies in their definition of "ordained". They do not recognize online ordination, but hey, run with it. What's the worst that could happen? (You don't want to know.)

It seems like a high price to pay for your friend to be the person to sign the license.

I specifically said if someone goes online and becomes an ordained minister can they perform a marriage in nassau county. The lady checked with the marriage department so she wouldnt give me wrong info and then said yes. I then asked do they need to be registered with the town and she said no. Everyone seems really doubtful so i will call a few of the other town clerks in nassau on monday to double check. Last thing i want is a problem at the last minute with this, but im not going to hire and pay for a professional if everyone from the town keeps telling me it's legal. Thanks!!

Yeah, why would you hire a professional?

If you called me about NJ and asked who could do your wedding, I'd tell you to go ahead and get anyone you know ordained. But LI? None of us will touch it, and when it's too late, no one will take credit for telling you anything. Not even "The Lady".

So you may remember from high school civics that there are three branches of government:

Legislative (they make the law)

Executive (they enforce the law)

Judicial (they interpret the law)

Anyone working for the clerk's office would fall under executive-- they enforce the law. As counter-intuitive as it seems, they are NOT in a position to tell you what the law means. A JUDGE (i.e., the judicial branch) could rule at any point that your marriage ceremony is not legal under the law, regardless of what anyone in the executive branch told you. Besides that, you don't have a clue who this lady is who you talked with on the phone-- there is ZERO reason for you to trust what she tells you, for it to carry any weight in the event that it should ever become an issue, etc-- she is just some lady who probably gets asked this stupid question twenty times a day, and what incentive does she have to actually verify the info she's giving you?

Everyone wants to save money, but this is not the place where you want to skimp.

In the event that we have a smooth marriage with no divorce issues in the future, what circumstances will arise where we will need to provide our marriage license? I was only really thinking about it in terms of being granted the license in the first place, thats why i was asking the town clerk since they are the ones who grant the license? Im so confused now haha!

I live in Canada and didn't want someone we didn't know marrying us (we're having a semi-dw, so we couldn't really get to know the officiant beforehand). The province has very specific laws about who can/can't perform ceremonies. What we are doing (which is perfectly legal), is having my brother perform the ceremony, and a JP witness it. As long as we say two specific phrases, and it's witnessed by someone legally allowed to wed, it's fine. Our JP will then sign the license and send it in. Would this be an option for you?

Is jp justice of the peace? Yes i would consider this but i do feel its a waste to hire someone just to witness and would rather not if i could just get a straight answer! Now im not sure who to believe, because the town is saying yes but everyone is telling me not to believe them.

"In the event that we have a smooth marriage" who doesn't hope for that going in?

There are dozens of instances where you have to provide your proof of marriage. Some of them not so romantic.

Here's another article on the topic: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/05/fashion/05marry.html?pagewanted=all

There are a million ways this could affect you even if you never divorce. And there have been instances where a judge has declared a marriage not legal b/c of the qualifications of the officiant when the license was filed, or even after it was filed, which means that you would have to redo the ceremony anyway.

Also, to clarify, legalizing the marriage is a three step process:

License

Ceremony

Certificate

The license is issued to couples without knowing who the officiant is, but the problem occurs when someone who is not legally authorized to perform the ceremony is listed on the certificate. That could render the certificate invalid. So, the clerk's office can give licenses to any couple that can legally marry--they aren't going to ask you who is going to officiate at that point, b/c they don't care at that point.

Honestly, the fact that "the lady" told you it would be okay is the most worrisome thing of all, b/c it just tells you that she doesn't even know that she can't give you an answer to that question!

Soo basically theres no way to get an answer? Lol

We've given you the answer, you have chosen to ignore it.

I'm out.

Actually, I think its pretty clear what your answer is: DON'T DO IT!

You have two experienced NY-area officiants telling you that you shouldn't use a ULC-ordained friend (at least to meet the legal requirement), and you have two articles from a well-respected, major newspaper explaining why its troublesome. None of us have a stake in your marriage or wedding-- we have no reason to give you false information. The woman in the clerk's office? Well, she probably just wanted to get you off the phone. I just don't think its worth saving a couple hundred bucks to just see if you can get by the law.

So who do you recommend i hire, because we are looking for a non-religious ceremony and do not want to be married by a priest, rabbit etc. what kind of credentials are valid then, if ordained minister is not? Bc i am looking online for officiants and many say they are ordained ministers