Over Budget Already

I’ve seen some absolutely beautiful micro wedding/elopements! Like scrap my own wedding and do what they did beautiful 😂 I would say if you can find someone that offers a package that you like, it’s worth it. Less stress and will hopefully keep you in budget! Or at least closer to budget!

What are the things that you've already payed for and still need to pay for? I'm sure we can help brainstorm some ideas.

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To keep it in budget, we were going for an elevated 'cake and punch' style reception with around 60 guests.

We've paid for the venue, weekend cabin (on site), Photography, and some decor. Still need catering, officiant, attire, flowers, plus FH wants a cigar bar, and a bar (wine and beer).

I'm going to do sola flowers, which should help some.

We had a significantly larger budget but like you we quickly realized that we would need to double it to have what we wanted. I do think it was worth it, but it did feel like a lot to spend on one day. Fortunately we could afford it, we both had parents who contributed to our wedding (which was a huge help and financial relief), and with Covid delays we had an extra year to save in which we weren't really spending money because we couldn't go anywhere or do anything.

Whether or not to accept the higher cost or cut your losses really depends on your situation. I don't think couples should ever go into debt to have a wedding. If you can afford the extra $6000, perhaps by delaying a honeymoon, saving in other areas (like not going to restaurants/bars as often), taking on an extra shift or two at work, or even pushing your wedding date out a bit to give you more time to save, it would be worth adjusting to the higher budget. But all of those things need to happen within reason. Like going from having 3 nights of dinner of takeout or restaurant meals each week to just one is super reasonable and will result in added savings over time without negatively impacting your lifestyle all that much, but going from working 40 hours a week to 60+ is a huge change that could be stressful and not at all worth it.

We opted to skip planning a honeymoon in order to have more for our wedding, with the logic that we would see how much money we got in cash/check gifts and choose a honeymoon based on that and once all the wedding bills had been paid. To us it made more sense than budgeting a couple thousand dollars for a honeymoon only to realize we received a lot more in gifts and could do a more elaborate trip, or the opposite and realize an unexpected expense came up that we didn't have enough money to cover. Delaying your honeymoon could be a great way to expand your wedding budget significantly.

What have you already paid for/allocated and what is left? Its much easier to cut expenses in some areas compared to others.

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Here are my ideas:

Catering - You can spend a lot on this or spend far less and still provide quality food. I would not skimp on food, but you can certainly budget here. One of the least expensive catering options we found was a food truck. One or two food trucks should be able to cover 60 people relatively inexpensively. BBQ can also be another not too expensive but really tasty option. But if you are doing a "cake and punch" style reception, what catering are you planning to provide?

Decor - You do not need to spend a lot on decor if your venue is nice to begin with. Try to go with the "less is more" approach and let the venue speak for itself, or borrow, DIY, or thrift where you can. I borrowed a lace tablecloth for our sweetheart table instead of buying one and opted to just use flowers and bud vases for our table arrangements instead of adding a runner or other elements and it was perfect.

Officiant - Having a friend officiate is less expensive than paying a pro. The fee for our friend to become a JP was $75 and that was their wedding gift to us. Hiring an officiant would have cost more like $300-$500.

Attire - You can save a TON of money in this area. You can buy a wedding dress for $100 or $10,000. Check out Lulu's, ASOS, or BHLDN for new dresses in the $80-$300 range. If you are willing to buy a pre-owned dress, I would strongly recommend StillWhite, Poshmark, or similar. I purchased two wedding dresses and with alterations and shipping the total cost was less than $600. New the dresses would have cost me closer to $3000.

Flowers - We sourced our flowers from a local flower farm and were able to get bulk flower buckets for our table settings, which we arranged ourselves and was significantly less expensive than paying a florist to do our flowers. I paid $300 for enough flowers to decorate an entire barn, including farm tables, sweetheart tables, windows, bathrooms, and loft.

Cigar bar - Skip it. This strikes me as expensive. I also HATE cigars. Like I think they are vile and disgusting and the smell permeates everything and makes me want to vomit. You have guests who don't drink, fine they skip the open bar. But for guests who don't smoke, you are pretty much creating an environment in which they are being subject to smelling and breathing burning tobacco. Unless nearly all of your guests are cigar aficionados, having a cigar bar will really alienate some in a way that alcohol, religious rituals, etc will not.

Alcohol - I don't like cash bars at weddings, but some people do them and it would be a way you could save money. I think as long as you provide SOME alcohol free of charge (like wine served with dinner, or open bar for cocktail hour and first hour of dinner service but cash bar after that), a partial cash bar isn't the end of the world. You can also source a limited variety of inexpensive, but still good quality beer and wine - like 2 beer options, one red and one white, to save money.

Hmm, depending on where you are in the country, I would have assumed $6,000 was plenty for a cake and punch reception for 60. Does your venue have a high fee? I do have to say a cigar bar and beer/wine feel a little out of place if you’re not serving a meal. Have the wedding you want if you can afford it, but make sure you’re thinking through “what makes sense.”

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This is a really good point!

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We're in the Nashville, TN area, so venues can be pretty pricy. I had in mind to do a nicer version of a cake and punch reception, but I think I've got away from my original plan and keep trying to add things to make everyone happy. Thanks for helping me see that!

I would say cut the items that are not important to you. Flowers (just your bouquet). Cigar bar and open bar for beer and wine, that will definitely increase your cost. If this is important to you and your FH, then I say you would have to increase your budget. I didn’t want to spend a lot of money on my wedding either but because my FH cannot compromise on cutting the guest list, we decided to increase our budget.

View Quoted Comment Do you have anyone in either family who would be willing to officiate for you? That could cut on costs. For catering, definitely think heavier apps as you then wouldn’t need as many (maybe a charcuterie board?). Maybe a Costco/supermarket cake versus a bakery. Check out the 5 cent sales at BevMo to help there (I just got 8 bottles of champagne for my sister’s baby shower brunch for $80 utilizing this sale). I’d shop around for cigars to see if anyone could do a bundle price for you. While I don’t think you’ll be at 6k, I do think you may be able to get it closer to 10.

If you are doing cake and punch, I am assuming your reception will be in the afternoon or a "non-meal" time. Also, you should not serve alcohol if cake/dessert are the only food items you're providing. I also agree with PP that a cigar bar seems a bit out of place with a cake/punch reception and you could cut costs significantly without the alcohol/cigars.

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Thank you for these ideas!

I'm not a fan of cigars much myself, but FH and his friends are BIG into cigars. I had planned on sticking them as far away from the venue as possible, but you're absolutely right- that smell will stick if it gets anywhere near guests.

The catering hasn't been booked, but we were planning desserts/some savory appetizers. That hopefully won't cost too much.

Thank you all for helping me see this issue more clearly! I'm trying to do too much and please too many people on a tight budget and I let the original vision of a more affordable cake and punch style reception get cloudy. Still don't think we will be in budget, but I do feel a bit more back on track. Although, the idea of a micro wedding is still appealing.

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The point about reducing unnecessary flowers is such a good one!

We did not do corsages for our moms and considered skipping boutonnieres as well. They aren't necessary at all an no one will notice if your moms, dads, the groom, groomsmen, and officiant don't have them. If you have bridesmaids, you can have them each carry a single flower if you feel like they need something to hold. Those simple changes could save you hundreds of dollars depending on how many people are involved in your wedding.

We had a Covid elopement and then a wedding celebration a year later and I had two different bouquets made by two different florists. They were different and I loved them both but one thing that stood out to me about the second one was how big and heavy it was! My first one was a bit smaller and more manageable, and I would honestly have preferred a similar size the second time around. If you are doing sola wood and buying online, many Etsy sellers offer different sizes. Consider getting a smaller bridal bouquet or even a bridesmaid bouquet for yourself and then doing posies or single stems for your maids. It will cost less, but can be just as beautiful!

Our original plan for our wedding was going to cost us around $16,000. Our budget was $10,00 max, but we wanted to keep it closer to $8,000 (also not including rings or honeymoon since rings were purchased well in advance and we planned on a delayed honeymoon). Since our budget was going to double, we decided to scrap the whole idea and plan something closer to a micro-wedding. We lost money on a deposit, but we still spent less money than we would have. We had a 30 person destination ceremony and reception for $4,000.

I personally would have preferred to cut even more and just elope, but my husband wanted people there, so the micro-wedding in a destination location was our compromise to cut stress and stay within budget.

I understand "destination" doesn't sound like it would help with either stress or budget, but we live in AZ and just went to Vegas, which isn't far away for us, and the packages and vendors we worked with were affordable and worth it. Also having it out of state did reduce the guest list on its own.

View Quoted Comment That sounds ideal to me!

I had a budget of 15000 it’s now 31000 yeah if you can afford it continue if you can’t then do a micro

We started with a ballpark budget of $5- $7,000 and we ended with $ 6,234 total.. its doable if you are willing to do a lot yourself . We had no alcohol/beer and cut a lot of non essentials out. It went perfect and we would not change a thing! In southeast PA

In the same boat, the expenses are adding up quickly. Still a year out...

When we started planning we set a budget of $10k... our estimate is now up to almost $19k and $11k is already set in stone. He's suffering a little sticker shock but he told me to do whatever I wanted to make our day special. It does hurt my heart and wallet a little since that's what my 300 guest wedding was and this one will only be about 60 guests. Oh well 🤷🏽‍♀️