Over it

Lol I just posted a rant so I definitely understand. Girl, I'm so sorry this is happening. Both of those scenarios are really hurtful on multiple levels!

I think it's okay if you let her know that her comment about the shower hurt you. That would sting me too. I know it stings for me that I won't be having a bachelorette. My FH made an off-hand comment about it, and I cried--he was shocked! He had no idea what he said had hurt me. In the end, he didn't mean it to be flippant and apologized and all was well.

On the far-away venues, do you know why they are picking different ones that are just as far away? Do they have a preference for a specific place (near family, etc)? Also, people will come, don't listen to that nonsense.

I am not a great giver of advice because I am currently collapsing under the stress of all of my family's and FH's family's hot takes about our wedding, but I hope that you can be stronger than me and just ignore it. It matters what you want for your day. You and your FS are a Team of Two. Sorry that her family won't be getting their backyard wedding, but in the end, it isn't their wedding. Be braver than I am and don't let them live rent-free in your head!

Also, I think we gals need to give ourselves a break from the pressures of planning. It is really hard. Don't forget self care!

I’m so sorry, that sounds really stressful and disheartening. For us, it was helpful to sit down and really talk about what we wanted, not what our families wanted. We were so incredibly close to eloping otherwise. We decided on under 20 people but still having flowers, cake, reception, etc... I think before you had said you were from Florida. What part? We’re also in Florida.

View Quoted Comment Something about it in their head makes it seems like the drive to town A is so much worse than the drive to B. When the drive is the same for both places so I’m not sure. It is just sure frustrating. I am to the point of just giving up and eloping.

So sorry for all those frustrations ! your venue is so ignorant and you know what, you'd rather be somewhere that is welcoming and accepting anyway! and also don't listen to FMIL because people WILL drive one hour to get to a wedding venue.

View Quoted Comment When it is just me and her I thought we were on the same page but when she get around her family she is so eager to please them that she flops and plays it like I’m a bridezilla type just because I don’t want a back yard wedding. We are in the panhandle about an hour from Tallahassee

I'm so sorry you're experiencing all this. 😞 Did your contract with your venue say anything about not serving same sex couples? Not that you would want to give them your business anymore but it seems like you would have some legal rights if they broke the contract?

View Quoted Comment I am hoping so because that is our only option

View Quoted Comment We hadn’t signed a contract yet we were about to. We were doing it blindly without seeing the venue as my FW is a truck driver and isn’t home often, but I guess they seen the review I left for a local photographer and seen we were same sex and told us they were no longer available.

View Quoted Comment That's horrible, I'm so sorry. At least you found out who they really are and didn't give them your money. I'm wishing you luck in finding a new and better venue. ❤️

View Quoted Comment Thank you!

Dear Bo, it is truly awful that you must face these ignorant and insipid people. If there is a LGBTQ+ community in your town or one nearby, I suggest that you contact them and ask for support. I feel that perhaps your FW is 'accepting her fate' so to speak. Please don't let either of you feel that you deserve anything less than the best. Marriage is purely about love and no one has the right to take that away.

Honestly, I am so sorry that venues and other venders are giving you a hard time. Despite everything going on there are still so many people who support you regardless, (including strangers like me!) and I hope that your wedding turns out a million times better than even your best expectations

What is this venue? I am sorry that your having a hard time with planning a wedding take a step back maybe take a break you have a lot of time. have you thought of having it at a park bring your own vendors a park wedding can be really pretty and affordable.

View Quoted Comment I am wanting an indoor reception so a park won’t really work for what I want unfortunately. Thanks for the suggestion though.

Hi Bo,
I definitely understand your frustration. I do, however, understand the family's perspective for something easy, frugal and simple. If it's not what you want, then do you, but I strongly recommend to not go above your means. Which of course one can have a beautiful wedding that looks expensive without breaking the bank.

View Quoted Comment It has nothing to do with finances those are not an issue with this. They just don’t want to deal with the “fuss” of a wedding. We are staying well within what we can afford.

View Quoted Comment Oh okay. Thanks for the clarification. Are you okay with me giving advice or no? I wanted to ask you first bc I didn't want to annoy/offend you.

View Quoted Comment Yes you can

View Quoted Comment I recommend you not discuss the wedding with loved ones who continue to make negative comments or suggestions that you don't like. If they ask, simply smile and say "thanks for your care but we have the planning under control and look forward to celebrating with you."

View Quoted Comment I think that is what I am going to have to do because her family is seems against the idea of the type of wedding that we want. Her family doesn’t fully support her being gay so I think that is a big part of it. If nothing else we will just give it up and elope just the two of us!