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Just Said Yes November 2024

Overzealous engagement party guest list sos

Ilysse, on October 9, 2023 at 2:16 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 4

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My fiancé and I live in FL & I am originally from CA. My parents are paying for most of our wedding in Miami, and wanted to host an engagement party in LA. We agreed to a lowkey, intimate affair at their house, mostly so fiancé could meet more people as we live so far away. I gave them a list of 8 of my friends to invite. My mom wanted to be in full control of the event, and went CRAZY inviting an additional 60 people, including many people I have not seen in decades and some literal strangers. 26 of their friends have already RSVP’d yes to engagement party, and I do not want to invite 16 of them to our wedding. We expressed to them we need to do some damage control, as invite is already out, but I am not sure how… Do we ask them to uninvite thwir friends to engagement party, cancel engagement party, or somehow set expectations that they aren’t invited to wedding?
I know all of this is taboo and will be embarrassing for my parents, but it is our wedding and we should be able to dictate which non-family members are invited... SOS!

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4 Comments

Latest activity by SandyZV, on October 9, 2023 at 7:51 PM

CM · on October 9, 2023 at 9:04 AM
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Canceling the existing plans for the engagement party is the most diplomatic way to do damage control in this case. As you know, it’s unacceptable to invite anyone to a pre-wedding event who is not invited to the wedding.
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Rockstar June 2018
Rae · on October 9, 2023 at 10:28 AM
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Cancelling the party entirely would likely be the best move. Especially if it was something your parent's were pushing more than you cared about.
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Rockstar November 2054
Jacks · on October 9, 2023 at 5:53 PM
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Unfortunately, I would cancel the party.
Are your parents contributing to the wedding? If so, this may be an ongoing problem, and I'd be really diligent about communication with them in future.
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