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Beginner August 2019

Parents Against Moving In Before Wedding

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Yg4189, on January 10, 2019 at 7:37 PM

Hello everyone,

I'm lost on how to go about this. So my fiance bought a house for us to live in a few months ago and he's all settled in. I still live with my parents and they've always been against sex before marriage and living together before marriage. They're very old school. I want to move already but I'm afraid to drive a wedge between my family months before my wedding. My fiance thinks my parents thinking is old school and is "tolerating" me not living with him, but I know he gets lonely. He feels like I'm choosing my parents over him by not saying anything to my parents. I feel like I'm slowly loosing him, I really don't want to upset my parents either. I'm not sure how to confront my parents and let them know I'm ready to move out. Help!

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26 Comments

Just Said Yes May 2024
Mglucci · on January 16, 2023 at 12:50 AM
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I’m actually going through now and it’s really hurting my fiancés and I relationship. He told me tonight he won’t help me plan future wedding planning until I move in. But I know how my parents are and I’m scared they’re going to be resentful and throw back in my face that they are helping us pay for the wedding.
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Rockstar October 2023
Michael · on January 16, 2023 at 12:58 AM
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That's not quite fair of your fiancé to hold the wedding planning ransom by requiring you to move in. You shouldn't be compelled to move in -- but rather it should be when you are ready.
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Just Said Yes May 2024
Mglucci · on January 16, 2023 at 1:09 AM
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The thing is I am ready but I’m scared to talk to my parents. I had this talk with them before we got engaged and now they are also like you don’t need to move in with him until you’re married. Like I’m stuck in the middle and I don’t know what to do.
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VIP August 2021
Michelle · on January 31, 2023 at 12:10 PM
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Why are you "stuck in the middle" exactly? You are the leader in your own life. To be honest, if I was your partner, I'd hesitate about committing to someone who cannot sit down and have a conservation with parents. If you choose your parents' money, be honest that the wedding is more important than your partner.
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Expert October 2023
Julija · on February 1, 2023 at 4:57 PM
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I'm in the reverse situation with my fiance. I have my own condo and he lives at home. His parents are super old school and I have been nudging him to move in. I always worried that he would always pick what his mother wanted over me because of this, but after seeing him stand up for me and our wedding, they don't like what we are doing with the money and style of wedding, choices it made me feel more secure in our future.
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Just Said Yes September 2024
Analia · on March 16, 2023 at 6:28 PM
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My fiance and i are trying to plan our wedding. We were both raised in traditional catholic italian families. Well, we decided to rent an apartment and already signed a lease after we decided to have a traditional wedding in Sept of 2024. We don't want to wait that long to move in with each other which is why we rented the apartment. We are supposed to move in 2 weeks but our parents are pressuring us to get married in the church before we move in with each other. I'm against having two weddings because I don't want the moment I walk down the aisle to be tainted if I've already done it but I don't want to make my parents uncomfortable by moving in with my fiance before we are married. Side note: we always wanted to get married on a mountain and not in the church so our original plan to be married in sept 2024 isn't what we want either. What should we do?
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