Parents are making me feel guilty.

Your food will only cost $800?? That's amazing. I didn't have that specific experience, but I did have a few awkward conversations about money with my mom. We made an excel sheet for our budget, and marked what we were paying for and what they agreed to pay for. I shared it with her and then had a straight forward conversation about the exact numbers, and where we were saving money. I then asked her (without beating around the bush), if she can pay this bill by this date, and that if she couldn't that is fine. I would just need to know asap so we can adjust the budget and cut something else out. I think that either made her worried or helped put my concerns into perspective, because she immediately and agreed and sent the check early. Before she was dodging me completely. I think it's important to stress how appreciative you are for any financial help they give as often as possible, but it is also important to let them know you are a grown up now and these money matters are important to you, too. This is your future.

Yes only $800! I’ve cut down on sooo many things I wanted so my parents wouldnt have to pay much. My venue for the whole day is only $1500 which is set up into three different payments. I haven’t done any planning for a whole year because I couldn’t afford it all myself and they would blow me off when I try to talk about money. Mom just says I’m not worried about it but they both make me feel guilty when they talk about “all” this money they’re having to spend. I am appreciative that they are paying for the venue but like I said above it’s upsetting when your parents bring in quadruple of what me and my fiancé make together and they’re complaining about money. My fiancé’s father is well off too, but he’s paying for our whole honeymoon so we don’t want to ask him for anything and he’s helped us a lot in the past through school... Money, Money, Money it’s crazy how paper bills will make you go crazy hahaha!

No offense, but it’s not your place to dictate how and when they spend their money. You and your FH should plan a wedding you two can afford alone and if they give you money for anything then cool! Regardless of how many bills are paid for them, etc, if they don’t want to give out their money they don’t have to.

I’m not dictating anything at all? I’ve paid for the majority of everything already I can afford it, it’s a stretch but I have no problem paying for it like I said above. With everything I’m only spending 5k and like I said above it wasn’t my idea to have the wedding it was my mom who wanted the wedding... I’m not making them pay for anything they agreed to pay for the venue and now are complaining about that cost.

View Quoted Comment If it wasn’t your idea and you’re paying for a majority, then don’t have the wedding they want. Have the wedding you want. If they want to complain about how much they are paying for the venue, then that’s their deal.

If it was my choice we would have eloped a long time ago... but they weren’t happy about that at all... so I picked somewhere that’s laid back and not expensive for them. My father is also very tight with money.. I mean like wouldn’t pay for my $100 wedding dress lol my grandpa ended up giving me $100 bc he felt bad that I paid for my own dress lol

View Quoted Comment Your parents are allowed to be tight with their money. They don’t have to pay for anything. If they said they would because they knew you wanted to elope, next time they complain simply say “FH and I are still comfortable with the idea of eloping if it’s too much for you”. Then leave it in their court. They don’t have to be happy with your choice, they just have to accept it. You also don’t have to feel guilty just because they bring up the cost.

Yea this situation kind of stinks for you. They didn't want you to elope but at the same time are giving you a hard time about paying for the wedding.

At least let this be a life lesson to you guys to not let people give you money because then they can hold it over your head like this.

Try to let it go when they complain about the cost (it was, after all, their choice to offer you the money) and have yourself an amazing wedding day!

Hello,

i am going to say that no one can make you feel guilty, you are in control of your emotions. So do you feel guilty because you always have? Either way, have a chat with your parents. Just communicate with them what you said to us. You feel bad about them spending money and they keep talking about it.

My dad will complain about the price of food at a restaurant then offer to buy the meal hahahahaha.

I would just talk to them.

If your parents are giving you a hard time now, there's a chance they my hold this money over your head forever. Sure, they have every right to control how they handle their money, but it sounds likes they're just being a**holes about it. I would say just do what you wanted to do from the beginning: elope. If they have a problem with it, too bad! If you elope, you get the wedding you want and they can't hold any money over your head. It's a win-win. Congratulations, and good luck!

View Quoted Comment

Girl, just do what you can and be up front as much as you can. You've obviously been working hard to make this work for everyone else (which I can relate to). Either do it the way you wanted in the first place or just plan it the best way you can and get it over with. lol I say that because it sounds like we have a similar mentality on weddings. The most important thing is that after all of this you will be married. And trust me, the marriage part is much better than the planning part lol or the wedding. Do what you can, knowing that there is an end to this drama and your parents will still be there for you after the stress of everything is over. Sending lots of warm and positive energy your way