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Just Said Yes June 2020

Parents don’t seem interested in helping plan or pay for wedding

Chelsea, on December 19, 2019 at 6:55 PM Posted in Planning 1 8
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Hey everyone. My fiancé and I have been dating for 6 years and are getting married in 6 months. We’ve had a long engagement because we are long distance currently while I’m finishing grad school. When we told my parents about the engagement they were excited for us and seemed genuinely happy but since then, there has been no initiative to help with planning or offering to help pay for anything. At first I just figured it was because the engagement was so long, but now that the wedding date is getting closer they still haven’t gotten excited or offered to help. I’ve expressed to my mom that it would be really nice to have her input with planning even if she wasn’t going to help financially and she just keeps saying shes

8 Comments

Latest activity by Andrea, on December 19, 2019 at 8:11 PM
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    No one else besides you and your fiance are required to plan or pay for your wedding. You guys are the ones that decided to get married so it is your responsibility to plan and pay for your wedding.
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  • L
    Devoted August 2020
    Lauren ·
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    I agree with PP about the financial aspect. However, I completely understand wanting your parents to be at least somewhat interested in your plans. If mine weren't I would be extremely disappointed. Mine aren't very involved but occasionally ask or help out with a little something, so maybe try just asking specific questions/opinions on things? It may get them interested or at the very least make you feel like they are involved and satisfy that desire of yours. Good luck!
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  • Mrs. S
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
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    I would plan and pay for it and send them an invitation. I’m sure they’re happy for you and will enjoy the day. But I wouldn’t worry about it beyond that.
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  • Jodie
    Dedicated April 2021
    Jodie ·
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    Specifically ask your parents certain questions or to go to certain things with you, like dress shopping. It is not their responsibility to pay for your wedding and that shouldn’t be brought up at all unless they offer
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  • Samantha
    Devoted December 2019
    Samantha ·
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    I would count on yourselves financially. I found asking for my mom’s opinion on specific things was super helpful (I’m the first to get married and my parents had a small wedding so this was really her first time being involved with a wedding). Invite her for coffee to review your plans and ideas... maybe she wants to be involved and doesn’t know how and is just waiting for you to take the lead!
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    The other pp's are correct. It's you two that are responsible for paying and planning. If they offer that will be nice but you two are adults and need to take charge of that. If it's getting expensive then cut back. I would just keep your mom aware of plans and ask her opinion on things. Sorry to tell you that.
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  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
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    While my parents paid for most of our wedding, they wanted nothing to do with the planning. My mom has always said if a couple can make it through planning a wedding then they're marriage is off to a good start in terms of compromise and stress!
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  • A
    Super February 2020
    Andrea ·
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    I didn't expect my parents to help pay (and didn't want them to). I was having a hard time in the beginning getting my family interested in helping plan, but at the end of the day it was all up to me and FH. Once all the big venues were booked and a date was set my family got excited. The dress shopping day helped out a lot, and now they are contributing in a group chat with the dresses or suits they'll be wearing!

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