Parents just don't understand!

FMIL doesn’t get why I allowed my BMs to pick their own dresses, and that they’re all different styles. She thought I had to force them to wear whatever dress I chose. She doesn’t understand why I don’t want to invite people who FH and I have never met and who wouldn’t even know what we look like. She didn’t understand why I wanted a small bridal party, and tried to tell me I needed huge BP because if not, who was going to pay for my bridal shower? Then freaked out and said it isn’t my moms “place” to pay for my shower after my mom booked the room.

My mom just cannot wrap her head around how a wedding can be so expensive 😂

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Oh man I wish I had your problem A. If we allowed all the kiddos, we'd have at least a dozen. The thought of that freaks me out so much, I would cancel the whole thing!

My fmil has been the more traditional of everyone. My mother has adopted the attitude of “we aren’t paying so we don’t care” and just done things for me that she asked approval for beforehand. My fmil decided that a 7 pm wedding required her to wear a long dress- nope! People are probably wearing jeans to this thing. It should have a full menu of heavy hors’deuvers- nope! By 8 pm people might want snacks and they will definitely want a drink but not a heavy meal. We should have paper invites, which she made and paid for herself because I wasn’t going to. We did email save the dates for our very informal wedding and that’s it. She gave those paper ones to her church friends in her age group. Basically my informal choices are tacky because of the time of day. It’s a Friday night. People are getting off work and coming. They don’t want to be all black tie and we didn’t want to pay for it lol. And it’s a second wedding so I’m not feeling constrained by propriety.

First look/sleeping together the first night. A lot of my family members were horrified that we were going to see each other before the wedding. Some of my family, I didn't even tell that we planned to sleep together the night before.

View Quoted Comment Let him take pictures!! I'm waiting on my photographer to get my photos back, and I love all the pictures that were taken by guests at the reception!! Neither DH or I had our phones on us, but neither of us are big on remembering to take pictures either (our only selfie together was after he had changed out of his tux lol). If that's something your FH enjoys, let him capture the moments!

At first for us it was the cost of everything, until I sat down with my FMIL who kept comparing what she paid at her wedding back in '88 to our prices now and calculated for inflation to show she actually paid more for most things.
Later on it was Staying together the night before, getting ready together/in our apartment, and the First Look. But those logistically made sense to us and helped us with the suspense/anxiety of it all.

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Hahah oh my gosh that is too funny!! 🤣

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I am ABSOLUTELY going to let him take pictures! I know I'll be checking my phone, facebook, snapchat, instagram, all of it once the wedding is over to see how many pictures my guests got of me and tagged me in! And I know the selifes will be a big thing too, especially for him. He's having family and friends there he really doesn't get to see often, and this will be his way of spending time with them.

We're also doing a first selfie as husband and wife before we do our first kiss as husband and wife!

One of the biggest things my mom said was different from her wedding was how many different wedding vendors I hired and how many decisions I made about every tiny detail! She had a more "all inclusive" wedding venue and had like 1-2 linen choices, 1-2 centerpiece choices, etc. She couldn't believe I was getting price quotes and comparing different chair styles and renting things like chargers!

My parents also have no clue how wedding websites work, and were stunned at how many of their friends actually did read our wedding website!

Not doing the Bouquet Toss or the Garter Toss. She freaked and told me it was a tradition. We have very few single friends and we don't want to waste time on stuff that no one is going to want to do.

Inviting every single family member that we haven't talked to in forever or ones I don't even know. We are trying to save money where we can but inviting all these people isn't going to change that.

She eventually came around to this but at first didn't like the idea of only have a maid of honor and a best man. No other bridesmaids or groomsmen.

The budget and the fact that the wedding/reception will all be at the venue instead of ceremony at a church

My mom said I was weird for not doing a bouquet toss.
Mom: “do you want me to make you a smaller bouquet to toss?”
me: “no thank you. I’m not doing that. I think it’s weird and I don’t like it”
mom: “WHY WOULDNT YOU DO THAT? Everyone does that!! You’re the weird one!”