Parents Keep Adding Guests

I told my mom that if she invited any other people they would have to stand outside because we were out of room. I also mentioned that my single friends didn't have plus one's yet, but her's did. She finally got the hint and stopped.

Oddly though, at the very end we had extra seats to fill. I guess I was a little paranoid :-)

Just say no, despite what some people believe it doesn't make you a bad person :-)

It feels very different to get married in front of people you know and care about and in front of strangers. Not to mention paying for "added" guests. Imagine if they don't show up?

But I still think Phyllisan had the worst experience. Her MIL added so many people that Phyllisan's own family didn't have a place to sit. You have too much time left to your wedding. If you don't put your foot down now, it will only get worse.

I agree with Mrs. S. Marilyn, I'm sure your daddy will understand, especially since you and fh are footing the bill, not him. Just explain that y'all have budgeted for x amt of people and simply can not afford the extra expense that comes with additional guests.

Say No, if you and FH is paying for it then you have the right.

We are paying for it too, and when I told my parents I was capping the guest list at 100 my mom was like "What?! There's no way you'll keep it at a hundred, it will be at least 250" and I just laughed and said "I would love that, but if that's the case you and dad will need to pay for it because I can only afford 100." I held my ground because I literally just CANT do it, and they weren't willing to fork over the extra cash so that ended the discussion.

Don't feel bad. It's your money and weddings are expensive. If they require these extra guests, they can help pay for them.

Luckily I did not have this issue but I was prepared for it because my mother kept adding people to my sister's list. I planned to tell her that she could add up to 5 people and we would be happy to pay for them. After 5 she would have to pay because we just plain can't afford it. And ask for a list of people they would like you to send announcements to.

None of our parents have added anyone (nor does anyone but me have access to the guest list, thankfully) if either of our parents wanted to add well guess what they can fork over some money too. My mom has been the only one putting money into this wedding for us so she does have say but doesn't have anyone she wants to invite.

Please set the rules now. It will only get worse as wedding planning goes on. The limit is the limit and thats that.

I asked FMIL for a list of people and they were all family or VERY close family friends that Nick would have wanted to invite anyway.

My family I am taking care of myself, they know better than to just invite people all willy nilly. I would go bridezilla. I DO have a temper.

I would be honest. Say that you are happy to add them, but in the event that you end up with more people than 75, you would really need help to cover the costs of their plates. You should be able to invite over 100 and still end up with 75, the way that the formula works.

I learned the hard way to say no. Feelings was hurt for a bit but it had to happen. I told both parents they are only allowed 20 couples each. Case Closed I haven;t been more happier since I told them and please stand your ground.

@Stacey, you think I could still end up with 75 still?

The thing is I invited one of my dad's college friends, because we are really close. Several times I have visited her, she is so awesome! Then my dad told me to invite the rest of his college friends, but I am not close with them and they live super close, so the chances of them coming are super high.

Anyways, he hasn't given me their addresses yet, so hopefully he will just forget haha

Don't count on him forgetting. Simply tell him you want an intimate ceremony with those closest to you. That's why one college friend was invited, because you're close to her. Stand your ground now or it's going to get worse later.

With the way my rsvps are coming in we may get 10 no's total, out of 171 people, because you are paying for it i think you need to sit and down and have the talk with your dad, just let him know that you can't go over your number because it adds to much to the final cost

I agree with everyone, stand your ground. Especially since you are paying for the wedding yourself. Sure your parents want to include some of their close friends, this is a special occasion for them too. But they do need to respect the fact that this your wedding and at the end of the day you only want people there you are close to.

This happened to me. When I told my parents that it cost me $150 per couple, and I would be glad to invite them if they wanted to pay for it...they stopped. =P

We're not even giving our parents the option of inviting anyone because we need to keep our guest list under control. I think you should tell him that you can't afford to invite the extra people.

I think everyone is right - they can't keep adding people that they want if they aren't going to help with the cost. Maybe you need to sit down and like Jen explain how much you are paying per head, and that you simply can't afford to keep adding people.

I would remind them that you have a small venue and unless they want to pay for them they need to stop adding people!!! Just nicely explain you can't afford anyone else and if they want them there they need to pitch in for the cost.

Stand your ground and remind them you are the one writing the check.